Oh wonderful! Another false opposition in womanhood set up by some stupid magazine. Don't you know, there's only so much righteous in the world and you'd better pick the RIGHT side to be on quick or you'll miss out! FFS.....

The "Natural" article is terrible. Journalistically, ideologically and morally it is completely flawed. Also, watching her friend not tell anyone - she told HER though right? Or how would she have known to be so insulted and agonised by the whole thing? So what we're talking about is her friend not telling the SIL, so that the SIL's IVF round wasn't made even more difficult. Or maybe she told EVERYONE when she was 22 weeks because it's no-one else's damn business and the author was upset that there was no parade to be in...? And who has made her apologise for her fertility? Does she visit paraplegics in hospital to show them her jogging? Or go sit with diabetics to show them how HER blood sugars are stable even after a marsbar? She makes it sound as if people are having IVF as an alternative to sex or something, as if people are choosing it out of fashion.

THe IVF article to be honest sounds like an apology for the book she mentions. It sounds like she wrote some things in the book when she was very angry that she now apologises for, which is why her tone was like that. She definitely came across as more dignified but she also came across as a writer, the natural woman sounds like the transcript of some thicko in a supermarket car park holding forth about her only marketable skill (hardworking ovaries? Great, do they build cars or design software or cure cancer?). I know that sounds really harsh but i am pretty angry to be represented, as woman with (thus far, *knocks on wood*) no need for IVF, by her drivel.

On the other hand that "women who flaunt their pregnant bellies, you know who you are" statement worries me too. Who flaunts their belly? Did i flaunt mine? I know couples having fertility treatment IRL as well as on here (the difference between me and them? They have fertility issues. That was caused by...? NOTHING, it's just terrible luck for them and brilliant luck for me, there is no fundamental moral, intellectual, ideological or social reasons for it) and when i was PG i tried to tell them a) not in the middle of a round of treatment, if they were keeping me informed on that aspect of life, which some chose not to, and b) when we were alone so they didn't have to be "on show" and hide how they felt. Some were happy but i'm sure cried later, some were openly sad for them while being happy for me, some seemed genuinely happy for me both then and throughout the pregnancy. In my part i tried to be true to my feelings. I didn't pretend i'd done any miraculous feat by getting or being pregnant that they somehow couldn't or wouldn't do, nor did i pretend i was less happy than i was. I hope i didn't flaunt it, but i know after my miscarriages the women who flaunted it, if i'm honest with myself, were often just minding their own business and it was my interpretation that hurt me, not their behaviour. I think that's what this woman (IVF) was trying to say too.

How much more opposition can we as women take!? Soon there will be magazines wirtten only for IVFers who had natural births but bottle-feed, use cloth nappies, and would never use daycare except family daycare. FFS - blonde vs brunette, tall vs short, fat vs thin, IVF vs natural, c-section vs vaginal, drugs vs no drugs, BF vs FF, 'sposies vs cloth, Working mum vs SAHM, homeschool vs stateschool...

Must EVERY BLOODY THING that happens to us in life be analysed minutely to see what it says about us as people and then used to set us up against people to whom different things happened?!

Bx