peta,
Certainly sounds like you are not being listened to. You already have a cardiologist - there is no reason for him to be referring you to someone he knows! (unless you want a new cardiologist of course.) As for your FS communicating with her, that is probalby not necessary until you are pg. but maybe you could get your cardiologist to write your FS a letter re her concerns and see how he reacts to that?
good luck peta