sachiko- it is so hard when it is so all consuming isn't it...and you are right, even when we try to focus on other things, it's still there in the background anyway. I wish you luck and thanks for your response

sue- I am sorry you are finding it hard with friends also, but glad you understand. My pregnant friend just asked if I wanted to meet for coffee, and I said I was busy..when I could have made time, I just didnt feel up for it right now, because she has been whinging about her morning sickness etc, and I just dont think I can do the whole sympathetic thing, when I would much rather be in her shoes!! I know I need to be careful Idont isolate myself tooo much and affect the friendship though, and sometimes I feel guilty I cant just keep being there more. Then again, I feel annoyed sometimes that she can't be more sensitive.