i am finding it hard at the moment to keep positive thoughts. i think because i just felt so good even in the lead up to last FET i thought maybe there was a chance.
now i am afraid with another FET prob in about a week that i am already feeling a bit negative. . i want to give this embryo the best chance of survival and i am doing all the right things but theres is a huge part of me that is just expecting another BFN.
how do i keep on feeling positive ?
i am trying some relaxation and even got a massage on friday and acupuncture as well in a couple of weeks ( my usuall acupuncure lady on hols)
i know i am taking my vitamins, etc etc, but i just feel this lump in my throut and i am very emotional at the moment.
GOOD QUESTION HUN -BUT I DONT KNOW ??
i just try and take it a day at a time everything else is out of my controll and we just have to keep going and hang in there and yes some days are much harder than others , but know were all here for you hun and im hopeing that our journey will be over very very soon and we can get our big fat bellys
I know it is very hard to stay positive but you know your embie is probably growing inside of you right now. In my last cycle I had this feeling that it would be BFN and the reasons I put forward include that the clinic only thaw my embie the morning of transfer (I transfered on Mon and the clinic does work on Sun) and secondly I truly felt that it wasn't my turn to get the BFP... and when I POAS on 11DPO and got a BFN I was sure that I had fail.. but then again my embie proved me wrong... as I am sure yours will do the same.
Please stay positive. With every ET is a step closer to a BFP. for you.
I also don't know. A few weeks ago I had a failed FET but going into it I felt the best I ever had, was more positive than previous transfers and it still failed. It was a big kick and I'm only now starting to get on top of the emotions again.
I guess, for me it comes down to not being ready to give up yet. That scares me more than another failed cycle - if that makes sense ? Whilst I'm tentative about another cycle I guess I need to look at it as another chance. One of these times it has to work...
BB helps so much to just let you know you are not alone and there is someone here to listen.
A few things about the cycle I just did really made me feel positive.
It was my 1st cycle at my new clinic and my 1st stim cycle with my new FS. Not everyone needs to change these things, but mentally it helped as I had a lot of faith in my FS and clinic.
I also had a really good session with the counsellor before EPU and she asked me what I would do if I could never conceive myself...did we have a back up plan. I told her we didn't have a plan as that wasn't an option for us. I think that was a real turning point for me as my attitude changed and I just decided it WAS going to happen.
Also, I usually have acupuncture the day before TF and immediately after, but this time I had it immediately before and after.
My FS also recommends you DTD the night before TF as there is some chemical in sperm that can help the embie implant.
I really do think for most people though it is a numbers game. We were VERY lucky this cycle to get some amazing blasties and my embies and I went through a hell of a time with the OHSS. I was on morphine, had a drain in my stomach and was really not well, so I just think these 2 babies were really meant to be.
For me I kept going my desire to be a mother was above all else that I felt. Don't get me wrong...my journey was hard. I have 2 angel babies, lost a tube and was diagnosed with PCOS and endo. At times DH wanted me to have a break, but keeping on going was what kept me going (IYKWIM?)
My advice to you...follow your dreams and your heart my friend. You are an amazing, strong woman. You will get there. Just give yourself the time you need between attempts personally. Only you know what you can handle yourself.
I'm ALWAYS thinking of you and hoping all your dreams come true.
Janet, we have all been there, trust me...and I don't have an answer either and sometimes I ask myself why do I have to keep positive after all I've been through?
We don't.
We don't need to put up a brave face all the time, we should allow ourselves to feel the real emotions and give ourselves space, time to curl into a hole and come out whenever we want to. At least that is within our control.
And can I say that regardless you are positive or not, it won't affect the end result of the cycle. I was really positive in my 1st stim cycle and it was BFN. So the following FET I really didn't hold any expectation and feeling really detached and I got my first BFP. So don't get caught up in this, feel your emotions and be yourself and leave the rest to the universe to take its own course hun.
All the best of luck for this cycle! We are all here with you...
Hi there...there is a similar thread to this in the pregnancy after LTTC thread, with some answers you might find useful.
All I can say is, I am struggling too, but I think we just keep going because the alternative is harder than keeping on trying. One thing I have realised is I dont have to feel positive to keep moving forward. Right now I am just living...and each day is a step forward even though I don'treally feel positive or happy...I guess the raw pain is easing, same as the raw dissapointment etc.
I think positive thinking is useful, in that it helps you mentally stay sane and find joy and hope in life. And I think a positive attitude/outlook helps attract good things into your life and certainly helps keep your body calm and relaxed and a good place for an embie to snuggle in.
All that said, I dont believe thinking positive makes or breaks whether or not you get a BFP and after that, a forever baby. I think if that's going to happen, it will happen, positive or negative thinking.
With our FET I believed it was going to work...I had acupuncture and all that, and I certainly thought positive...I talked to my embie..and then we had our BFP. Then I really really believed it was going to be our baby...I believed this was it for us. And then it wasn't. All the positive thinking in the world didn't get me anywhere. Other women have felt negative and now have a baby.
So positive thinking has its place, and can certainly help you mentally and physically....but don't worry if you don't feel super positive after your next FET. You are only human and you've been through a lot. And it won't stop you getting a BFP.
I guess try and find some way to feel happy/positive as a way for you to find more joy in life. That's my latest view on things anyway...and what I will apply to myself.
thanks guys. i had my scan today and follie is 12mm so i'll start ov testing on thur but fs said prob sat or sun for pos test. also we've disovered that i'm not having 14 days between ov and af so we'll be prob doing some sort of support this time.
i am feeling ok at themoment.
thanks again guys. xx
JBM,
I wish I had the answer for you but I dont. I know exactly how you feel - we are about to do our 5th transfer and I just dread that it too will end up on a BFN and that no matter what I do, we are never going to have our baby.
Maybe our negative thoughts are a survival mechanism to help us prepare in case this is not the right cycle, I dont know. All I do know is that we can do what we can and then we have to just belive that it will be enough.
Hang in there and wishing you the best of luck.
FG
Farmgirl - I am thinking positive thoughts for you and totally understand the mind games you have to play with yourself. I hope this one is your lucky cycle.
Registered User
keeping positive thoughts?
. i want to give this embryo the best chance of survival and i am doing all the right things but theres is a huge part of me that is just expecting another BFN.
for you.
for support.
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks