Long-term TTC & Assisted Conception - Oct/Nov 2009

**onthefly** · October 24th, 2009, 01:38 PM

Welcome to the Long Term TTC & Assisted Conception Thread!

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The old thread is HERE.

**Coral73** · October 24th, 2009, 02:33 PM

airline

I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling blue and big hugs to you

. Don't apologise at all for posting how you are feeling... you have every right to be upset. We are all here celebrate the good news and offer support to one another when the news is not so good

. It is a daunting thought to think about the possibility of not having anything to transfer or freeze after coming so far. Try to keep positive and 2 x 7 cell embies is good.... there is still time for the others to catch up by Monday. I know it is easier said than done though.. I'll be

'ing that they all make the grade for you and that you will have a fantastic one to transfer and good ones to freeze as well. Thinking of you and hoping that it will be 3rd time lucky, lol.

**Motherhood here i come!** · October 24th, 2009, 03:26 PM

Afternoon all,

Sorry no personals. Am feeling rather upset, have had a cry and just dont know what to do. I need to vent a little.

So,DH and I travelled bright and early this morning for my first US and 3rd BT. All was ok good with that, just had to wait for my "official" results phone call. Noted at the US that the follicles they did measure were quite small with the largest being approx 10mm

.

Anyway, got the call from the nurse. She let me know that she had spoken with my FS who wants to push on with this cycle (gee sounds promising..... not). He has asked that I keep taking the 450IU of Puregon and the 10units Lucrin each day and I need to go back in on Tuesday for a BT but no US this time hmmmmm. Nurse also told me that my Estrogen levels had increased slightly (Tues was 143 and today it was at 360) but still down on where they would really like them to be at. Nurse also told me that my uterus lining is at 6mm so all good there and that I have 9 follies however all were smaller than 10mm

She also said that she was waiting for FS to look at my FSH levels from the BT. Not sure what she meant by that but Im sure it didnt matter.

To say im disapointed with those results is an understatement. I have a feeling that were headed down the same path as cycle number 1 and that is cancellation due to poor performance. Im sorry If Im affending anyone but this just isnt fair. Why am I not responding to my Puregon shots. Thats one thing I just need to know is why? Is there something else medically wrong with me that we have missed and I need to have it looked into. Not to mention, If we were to stop IVF and try naturally, what complications would we have then??? I thought IVF was to help, not hinder. Its just not fair.

Havent mentioned to DH yet but am seriously thinking of cancelling and giving up (I know this is only number 2 but can you blame me when it all seems to be tracking in the exact same way. I have even gone for Accupuncture for this session and I am of the opinion at the moment that I dont think it did diddly squat for me). I dont know that I can keep going knowing the information I know from my failed first cycle and what it is im being told now. I feel like I already know where this is headed and Its just not fair at all.

Sorry for the very big me post. I just dont get it at all now. WHY body, Why are you doing this to me!!!!!

**~Tracy~** · October 24th, 2009, 05:36 PM

motherhoodhereIcome- ((hugs)) to you hun and vent away. I am sorry your feeling so bad about your results and understand perfectly where your coming from. Dont throw in the towel just yet ((hugs))

airline- your little embies are still going, try to keep positive about that sweetie ((hugs))

Coral- awesome news for you, I hope both stick, my FS refuses to transfer 2, I have asked a few times now

Meg- sounds like everything is going great for you too. Sending stickyvibes

sonyalouise- so sorry mate ((hugs))

Bonny- welcome aboard and GL

AFM- I had EPU this morning, was most unpleasent the aneathatist was horrible and I got THREE eggs, I am somewhat dissapointed with that, trying to stay positive, I know we only need one good little embie *sigh*

**Bonny** · October 24th, 2009, 05:47 PM

Hey Motherhood here i come. I just want to say that I feel for you and really hope you get some positive results soon. I'm only on my first IVF/ICSI cycle and am a slow responder. Started on 150UI Puregon. First scan only showed 1 or 2 follies in one ovary with the other ovary looking a bit dead (FS's words!).

I was absolutely gutted. Dose increased to 250 UI. Fri's scan showed only 3 follies. Sigh. Dose now 450 UI. FS said with 3 follies we still have a "fighting chance", so we've decided to keep going. I get that the first cycle can be experimental, but can't help feeling anxious and disappointed all the same. It feels like I'm on this scary rollercoaster ride and I'm just hanging on. Have got another scan on Monday and am hoping we don't have to cancel this cycle. I know it's your second go, but please try not to lose heart. Hang in there, girlfriend. Have my fingers and toes crossed for you

**Emerald Star** · October 24th, 2009, 09:14 PM

Mitf - So glad you are coping better this time round in your 2WW...can't wait to hear your results!! GL

Coral73 - Yay!!!! 2 great embies on board!!! Bring on Nov 3rd....GL to you tooo hon!

Loops12 - So sorry to hear again of your financial status.....I really do hope that you get to sell your tractor AND calf feeding trailer and all your worries go away!!!

In the meantime I hope it happens naturally....or maybe try another IUI??? Whatever you do, i wish you the best of luck!!

Sonyalouise - sorry about the confirmed BFN...just remember, one, two or more of us get pregnent every month..next one could be you!! I certainly understand the emotional rollercoaster we're on, so take your time and relax yourself....wine, cheese etc.

Tracy - Hope EPU went well today!!! when is your ET?

Meg76 - You go girl....anyway you look at it, its still a good number. GL in your 2WW.

Bonny -

I am sure you will find all the support you need right here...the ladies here are beautiful....also don't be too hard on yourself, you still have a while to go and by next week it will be a totally different story. GL

Airline - Don't worry tooo much ( easier said than done, i know ), as long as they're dividing into cells, they can still be viable pregnancies, with beautiful, healthy bubs...just try and relax until Monday and then let them get comfortable and stick....

Motherhood here i come -

try and keep positive, have you spoken to a councillor?
I don't know what else to say, thinking of you!

TRACY - sorry to read about your 3 eggs...but on the other hand YOU HAVE 3 EGGS!!

yaaaayyy!!!

AFM - waiting for the time to pass....come on NOVEMBER!!

**Meg76** · October 25th, 2009, 01:58 PM

Hi Ladies,

I hope everyone is off enjoying their weekend rather than sitting here obsessing like I am...

For those who have been down this path before I have a question- I've had a bit of crampy-pain on and off since ET on Friday varying from a stitch-like pain similar to when you can feel yourself ovulating to vague period-type pain. Does anyone know if this is normal? I'll call the FS tomorrow morning but would love your input before then!

Sorry for the me post. Hope you're all well. xxx

**Motherhood here i come!** · October 25th, 2009, 03:32 PM

Hi Meg,

I haven't been down the ET before however do remember reading (hope what Im saying is right) some of the others posts where they say that cramping type feeling is normal as its the embryo implanting itself into the lining. FX hey that all goes according to plan and you get a BFP!!!

**~Tracy~** · October 25th, 2009, 04:48 PM

Just a quick "me" post sorry girls

Just had to share of my three eggs two have fertilised we are still in the game. OMG I have made myself sick thinking they would tell me none had taken. Its such massive weight off my shoulders.

I know we are not in the clear just yet, but its one major hurdle crossed. All going well ET will be Tuesday

**sonyalouise** · October 25th, 2009, 07:51 PM

Hi ladies,
I hope you all had a great weekend and are ready to face the week ahead.

Airline-I am thinking of you I hope you get some good news tomorrow and that your weekend hasn?t been too tough.

Motherhood- I am so sorry that things have not gone your way in this cycle. I know it is daunting, frustrating and depressing to go through all this and not get the results. Don?t give up hope! When I went in for my EPU I met a woman who only ever gets one egg per ivf stim cycle! She has a. two year old ivf child and is back for second. She was on her fourth EPU for this round. I know it is not what you really want hear in terms of results of stim cycles, but I guess what I am trying to say is there is always a chance if you even have one egg. I have a friend who had 18 eggs frozen and only one was viable, as a result she now has a three year old daughter.

Tracey- My fingers are crossed for you, I hope you get a really good embie. Great news that 2 fertilised!

Bonny- welcome to the thread, I hope that increase of meds does the trick for you.

Emerald- Not long to go now, November is just around the corner.

Meg76- Cramping is definitely normal. If you are also on crinone that also causes cramping.

Coral- Wow it all sounds so promising, good luck with the TWW

AFM- I have changed my mind yet again. I had a terrible day yesterday, my poor DH had to put up with a very moody irritated wife. Today however I am a different person, talked to the nurse and decided to go straight into an un-medicated FET. The down reg process is so long that I can?t quite believe that I could be back in the TWW within three weeks. Now I just have to wait for AF??.

**Emerald Star** · October 25th, 2009, 09:06 PM

Meg76 - I have to agree with MHIC, I had that sharp stab feeling with my first IVF and i was pregnant!! (although it didn't stick properly). I would have to take a good guess and say its that little embie trying to get comfortable and stick!! Relax and let it do its thing! GL FX for you.

Tracy - so glad to hear your happier!! Tuesday is around the corner...all will be excellent.

Sonyalouise - good girl...hang in there. I will hopefully be stimming when you are in your 2ww! Hope it all goes well for you and we all get our BFP!!!!

**Emerald Star** · October 25th, 2009, 09:16 PM

sonyalouise and all the other girls - just have to have a little whinge about our DH's and DP's....as far as i am concerned and in my humble opinion, Dh's and DP's should put up with all the moaning, groaning, whinging, crying and anything else we dish out at them.

. we are the ones who are suffering, mentally and physically, all those jabs, running off to appointments, etc and not to mention cooking, cleaning, working, socialising (yeah right) and all they have to do is go out of their way one day and spit into a jar!

(wow) All i have to say is that they should just suck it up!!!

(p.s. hope i didn't offend anyone)

**~Tracy~** · October 25th, 2009, 09:28 PM

sonyalouise and all the other girls - just have to have a little whinge about our DH's and DP's....as far as i am concerned and in my humble opinion, Dh's and DP's should put up with all the moaning, groaning, whinging, crying and anything else we dish out at them.

. we are the ones who are suffering, mentally and physically, all those jabs, running off to appointments, etc and not to mention cooking, cleaning, working, socialising (yeah right) and all they have to do is go out of their way one day and spit into a jar!

(wow) All i have to say is that they should just suck it up!!!

(p.s. hope i didn't offend anyone)

I couldnt have said that better myself

**Emerald Star** · October 25th, 2009, 09:35 PM

Tracy - i had to vent that as i always read in someones notes that DH this or "poor DH" had to put up with something, we're always worrying about how DH feels....who cares, we've got tooo much going on with us to worry about their feelings too. Again sorry about the vent, but i'm glad you understand.

**Motherhood here i come!** · October 25th, 2009, 09:37 PM

Hey ladies just a quick one!

Sonya thanks for the positive thoughts. Am feeling a little better today and am now armed with a list of questions for FS. I just want to know why??? Like I said to DH I would rather know why now and do something about it now rather than just wait if you know what I mean.

As for the one egg Sonya, I totally understand however it makes it a bit hard for us. Would love one egg however we have the added pressure of PGD in that not only do we need it to be viable, we need it to fertilise and then we need it to make it to blastie stage and then on top of that, we need it to be free of DH's genetic condition and pass the PGD!!!! Dont mean to put down your positive but Im sure you see what I mean. But one egg would be fantastic. Maybe this time If need be, I will make the decision to go through with EPU instead of cancelling like last time because we only had 1 maybe 2 follies.

**airline** · October 25th, 2009, 10:28 PM

OMG..was in middle of typing war and peace to you all with individual persies...and pressed the wrong button..so much for bloody touch typing!!!
sorry have to go to bed so quick version

motherhood - i felt terrible having read my last post and then yours not long after. it's human nature for us to want to achieve the next goal each time, and geez we've all been biding our time...I so hope you and dh have a chat and come up with a mutual agreement about what's right for you both at this moment in time. hugs

tracy - i hope your embies continue to divide and conquer! good luck with ET, mine is monday...actually my least favourite part - it hurts me!!

sonya - glad your back on your feet again - our moods change in the blink of an eye don't they!!

coral - bless you! thank you for your post. I've not hung around here much this weekend, but reading your post helped me.

AFM - well I have to reiterate that this EPU was my worst. I've clearly been really lucky with the first two cos I've felt crap for 4 days. Today is the best I've felt and I just hope my body's happy to receive it's little treasure tomorrow at 2pm. (a moments silence will be appreciated

) My stomach was tender, the bloating was awful, and last night at work I had to pull myself together in the toilet, cos I just wanted to take my clothes off, relieve my body of the constriction around the middle and cry..in that order. Clearly this may have alarmed people so I chose the option of biting my lip, applying my lip gloss and holding a folder over my engorged stomach region.

Surprisingly, DH and I have not obsessed today even though there's been no phone call to tell us the progress. I socialised with friends all afternoon, and I'm in a good place. I just hope all the differences in this cycle mean it'll be a different outcome.

To all of you out there...who sign on looking for hope, answers, good news and support thank you. You have all contributed to my state of mind today. May babydust be carried as wide and far amongst you as posssible. Night.