Long Term TTC & Assisted Conception - Jan 2008 #2

[slyder]

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The old thread is here

[Baby Angels]

Firstly It feels very strange to change to this thread, almost as if I m in the wrong place. But anyway.....

I wanted to share something and a thought I had. As most of you would be aware my husband and I lost our twins after a 'successful' ICSI. This was very recently and I was amaized at how everyone in here had the stregnth to keep going, because at that time I did not.

Time is an amaizing healer. Lately I have discussed the possibility that we may just.......notice all there area s where I have allowed a way out... anyway, that we may TTC again. Over the last 2 days, which might not seem like long but is when you only lost your babies 2 weeks ago, anyway..... gee i digress a lot! ANYWAY over the last 2 days I have felt the will to continue and things have been looking up.

There have been quite a few occasions on the last 2 days that I have really 'felt' my angel babies with me. Really felt like I was being pushed to recover by them. As if they knew that the loss of them had affected me to the degree that I was considering not trying again. Then as if they decided they needed to make sure I did try again. Now I know there are a LOT of people who would read that statement and think ..... goodness she s gone nuts..... you are welcome to your own opinion. To me it is what I have felt so I m sharing.

Today something else happened that confirmed it to me. DH and I went to buy some plants. We walked in, Its a huge place, and started walking around. We had not been in the gardens for more than 30 seconds when a little girl, around 4 marched straight up to me and started talking to me. Now that never shocks me it happenes all the time. But this little girl was different. She just started telling me that the water feature that I was near me wasnt a very good one and that I had to come and look at the other one which was much better. We walk over to the other one and she excitedly told me all about why it was better. "you cant see the fish cause the water is green but look at this.... you can throw rocks into it" which she then promptly picked up a large rock and threw it in. Now in the past when a kid has come up and taken a fancy to me that is probably the length of the conversation and off they go again. Not with this little girl. She had to give me a guided tour around the whole place. Her mother who was just a bit further up from where we were kept looking back at us with a strange look on her face. For the next 20 minutes at least I was escorted around by this little girl. We were "looking round the jungle" I was given lessons about plants. I told her I didnt know much about plants, her response "oh I do.... You have to Love them, really love them". For that 20 minutes it was just the 2 of us exploring the jungle, finding dangerous animals.... little lizards that were walking around... and learning to Love plants. Then all of a sudden I looked at her and noticed that she looked and acted so much like myself at that age, same eyes, same hair and deffinately same disrespect for being a "girl". She was out there being all grubby.... putting her hands in ponds of sludge and wiping it on her "girly" clothes her mother had put her in. I stood there looking at her. It was if someone up above was saying, please dont give up, your little girl is on her way. Then no sooner had I had this thought that her mother finally turned up and said they had to leave.

DH, who had been watching from a distance, was amaized. This little girls mother had been around the whole time. Its rare that a mother will allow her little girl to talk to a stranger but this mother watched but didnt interupt.

Now I do not expect everyone to see what I saw in that experience. I know the message was for me. But I thought I would share.

So now its as if I m back. We have decided exactly what we are doing, we have planned out everything and we will do everything we have to do so that our little girl can come to us when she is ready..... and if she wants to be a little boy she s welcome then as well.

[RH76]

AB - I am so sorry to hear of your loss, I am new to BB and didn't quite realise what your story was. You sound so strong and so determined to have a baby. I think that determination and love for a future child/children is what gets us all through.

Sometimes strange things happen that are so meaningful to us. That little girl certainly sounds a character! it seems that she arrived to you at the right time, if only for 20 mins. We have to take what each experience means to us and treasure that.

Good luck with your journey.

:hugs:

[Lionfish]

AB that is an amazing story thank you for sharing it with us. Alot of these things happen to us and we dont think about why, it is awesome that you were able to get such a positive message out of it even through your grief. You will know when you are ready to TTC, in the meantime just be kind to yourself. HUGS

[~BecD~]

AB - that is a really lovely story

Still feeling like crap from OPU but the panadeine forte knocks me around too much so am dropping down to just paracetemol. DH went into the clinic to give his sample this morning, which didn't go as smoothly as anticipated but still ok. The thing that I'm worried most about is that only five eggs have matured so far. Steve did say that more could mature doing the day but so far we only have five. Today is like day 0 for normal IVF, so we still need to get the eggs fertilised and grow to day 5 - so I'm freaking out.

[indie24]

AB- I agree that was a lovely story.

[RH76]

BecD - hang on in there. I'm sure your FS will do everything they can. Just remember that you only need one egg to make a baby, that's all we get in a natural cycle, just one! I only had 2 follies this time around, possibly a 3rd hiding, so fingers crossed just one of my eggs has been fertilised (IUI) and is growing a little one for us. 1 week and 2 days to BT.

Someone I know got a BFP on their first go of ivf, and they only got one egg! now they have their beautiful baby. So, it does happen.

[babydreams]

Angel, thanks for sharing. I am glad to read that you are feeling stronger and ready to start again.

BecD Hope those embies are growing into super blasties for you.

RH76 I am on the count down with you, my BT is Friday week.. sending you

[Acacia]

AB, I'm so glad to hear of such a wonderful, touching and meaningful thing that has happened to you at this point. I hope it gives you lots of strength and guidance, hun. Remember to take things in your own time and take the next steps and make plans as you feel ready to

Bec - it's all brand new, which makes it really hard, hun. You don't know what to expect, and the unknowns are scary. Hang in there, thinking of you lots. I hope those eggies keep growing and growing! I been telling them already since 2 days ago! :hugs:

[Baby Bliss]

Hi all,

Apologies for having disappeared for 2 months after our first failed IVF cycle. I found it hard to be about but not in there acting you know? I found the 2 months went reasonably fast (given xmas was in there somewhere!) and I was able to switch right off from all this.

We are booked in to start IVF/ICSI #2 as soon as my next period starts, which looks likely to be first week February. I feel excited and nervous all at once again. Once this cycle is over and the safety net met, we can then fit in several more if needed with less expense, so its good to get going now.

I will pop back when things get under way in Feb, we're doing a flare, not a down reg this time, so things ought to move a little faster we hope. I hope there has been much success in my absence. xx

[~BecD~]

Kell - Good to see you back here hon, I have everything crossed for you

Well I have some good news - a further 3 eggs have matured during the day so in total we have 8 mature eggs - YAY! I am feeling MUCH happier now I have heard that, I was quite upset earlier but things are looking up Will find out fert results tomorrow and then just wait and see how they grow. I had forgotten what a rollercoaster this is!

[slyder]

Hi to everyone.

Welcome back, Kell.

Bec, well done, our IVM pioneer

[sushee]

I'm watching your progress with great interest, Bec, I hope you don't mind! You're our very first IVM member!

[lynros]

Hello everybody,

New to this thread but not BB. Quick update; 3 unsuccessful attempts using clomid, was about to travel the path of IUI but FS was not convinced this would be beneficial for me (unexplained infertility) so has convinced DF and I that IVF should be our next step. So here I am Both quite nervous and excited by the whole thing.... never thought it would get to this but after nearly 3 years of TTC this is where we are at.

Had US today just to make sure everythings ok for commencing IVF and BT tomorrow. Then FS appt next Thur to commence taking the pill.

It's great to read all your stories and to know that I'm not alone in this journey. I can certainly relate with many of you. My fingers are for all of us.

[RH76]

Hi everyone,

Babydreams - it good to know that someone else is in the TWW with me, I was feeling very lonely! Good luck and lots of to you.

Baby Bliss - Hello! I hope the time flies for you until your next round. Good luck!

BecD - Great news! Good luck with the fert results. Wow! I've just read about IVM (I didn't know what it was). It sounds amazing!

Lynros - When I started on the IVF rollercoaster I really felt that my DH and I were taking control of our future and actually moving forward. I know this might sound odd, but for us, month after month of getting AF was killing me, and IVF felt like a tiny twinkle of light at the end of a very long tunnel. So, fingers crossed for you and good luck for tomorrow.

Me - well, I'm getting really nervous as this evening I started feeling cramps. Last time we did IVF I had these and I convinced myself that it was the embie embedding. But, it was yet another bfn and I was so, so down about it. So this time I am more skeptical and am inclined to think that this is going to be another bfn. I also have some CM (sorry for the TMI), but I'm worried about it. I've never had this before in a TWW. Although I supposedly am due AF on 25th, is it possible for her to arrive over a week early IYKWIM?

Hi to everyone else!

[Baby Angels]

Well off I went to do some research and came accross this. I read it and thought.... ok that makes it clear then I thought about everyone on here rushing to try and find out more so I thought my good deed for the day would be to post it in here so you can all read. Its from the UK so the pricings are completely out.

Quote:

"The first British babies - boy and girl twins - to be conceived using a new fertility technique have been born at the John Radcliffe hospital, Oxford.

Scientists said in vitro maturation (IVM) is potentially safer, faster and cheaper than standard IVF because it does not require women to use fertility drugs. It could help the 40% per cent of women undergoing treatment who have polycystic ovaries.

During normal IVF, a woman undergoes several weeks of drug injections to stimulate the production of eggs in her ovaries. But the regime can lead to a condition called ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome which can result in a build-up of fluid in the lungs, abdomen and other tissues. Very rarely, it can cause death. The syndrome occurs in around 1% of standard IVF cycles, but around 10% of cycles in women with polycystic ovaries.

In IVM, eggs are collected from the ovaries while they are still immature. They are then matured in a laboratory for up to 48 hours before being injected with a single sperm - a process called intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI). A few days after fertilisation, the embryos are implanted into the mother's womb. Because fewer drugs are used, the cost of each IVM cycle is lower - at �1,700 - than standard IVF which can reach �4,300 per attempt."

Quote:

"IVM involves taking immature eggs from unstimulated ovaries and then maturing them in the laboratory followed by their fertilisation using ICSI. Embryos are then transferred to the womb a few days later. The egg collection is performed in the same way as a standard IVF collection. Since no ovarian stimulation is required there is no need to buy and take daily gonadotropin injections for 2 weeks and no need to sniff a drug for 3 weeks before that. This means IVM is safer (no risk of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome), cheaper (no need to buy injectable drugs) and quicker.

Around 400 babies have been born from IVM worldwide and to date there have been no safety concerns. However IVM is not as established a treatment as IVF."

Ok so I m up with it all now. No good to me at all..... lol.... I dont pass the under 38 requirement.

Oh well...

I m thrilled however to see that research is continuing to find new ways to assist in fullfilling so many couples dreams.

[tiggerlinda]

Hi All just poping in to sprinkle so been very busy with work in Melb so won't even pretend to say I know where I am at with everyone.

GL to everyone

[RH76]

Hi everyone!

Saltprincess - I was doing a flare cycle but my ovaries were not responding very well, too small, apart from 2, so it wasn't worth doing an egg collection - apparently. My FS called me and told me that he didn't want to cancel the cycle completely so he suggested IUI. He said it was better to try and get something! I suppose he thinks that there is a slim chance that it will work, as if he was really positive he'd never suggest it and risk triplets. Anyway, I had either 2 or 3 follies, there was possibly a 3rd one hiding but they weren't sure. FS did tell me about the risk of multiple embies. I'm secretly hoping and hoping that it's worked and we get twins. I know it is a riskier pg, but only one pg and not having to go through all of this again would be magic. We can all dream...At the end of the day it was our choice.

Maybe talk to your FS about it and see what they say if you are in a similar position to me?

AB - thanks so much for the info. It sounds like a very viable option for me. I'm not sure if my clinic does it, I shall ask them. I go to IVF Australia, Sydney.

I'm off now for a BT to see if I've ovulated. After a trigger injection I ought to have done. We'll see, it certainly feels as if there's a lot going on in there!

BecD - for your fert results today.