BG...don't be crazy!!! Everyone's 'bad days' may be different but they are still BAD...and with all the pressure this journey puts on us it can make a bad day...a really BAD day...if you get what I mean? I feel guilty because I'm doing so well today? I've realised that I've been grieving for a week or so already...first the denial...yesterday was the sobbing...last night was the angry...now acceptance of the fact there is absolutely nothing I could have done or can do...I just hope I don't sound heartless...we will have our baby...just not yet...but I know when it does happen the timing will be perfect...so please keep sharing...it's good to know others are dealing with the 'stuff' the universe keeps throwing at us...united we stand hey!!!!
Hi all,
Ellie, you are an amazing person. I hope i can show and ounce of the strength you have over this journey.
BG - ekk - i hope you don't get any more OHSS syptoms and take care of yourself this weekend.
Well you can read on if you are bored - here goes my story...
FS says that there are 3 possible explanations for my hideous last cycle. 1 - it was a random blip (think BW's law of probability explanation to Mel). 2 - my body hates the drugs (think BG and the synarel problems). 3 - i have bad eggs.
So we are going to work through the options in that order. First i do another full Stim cycle with down reg, just like last time. If it was just a random unlucky cycle, then hopefully the next one goes better. If not, we move to option 2 in which case we try a flare cycle - nice and short, no pill, no synarel (like you Lou?). If this does not work, then we move to the dreaded option 3. Not sure whether i'll cope with the option of 'bad eggs'. Ahh well, one step at a time. I am considering myself very lucky that i am getting to move straight on to the down reg part of the cycle straight after the last stim cycle.
I asked FS about the ICSI possibly damaging the embryos, but is apparently not an issue anymore these days.
I asked also why i appear to be on a low dose of GonalF compared to others. He said this is because he would put a PCOS person on a higher dose as PCOS can negatively affect egg quality. Therefore if they use a higher dose, they get more eggs, and hopefully in the end the same number of good quality eggs. He said my age (even if i feel old!!), my previous history of response to Clomid and the last GonalF cycle, and the fact that my endo is almost all gone, should mean i have the same result from a lower dose than other's have with a higher dose. I hope that made sense. It has taught me not to compare myself with everyone else all the time!
He also told me if i want to i can use Lucrin instead of Synarel. I haven't decided yet. I know Synarel works (maybe too well!) but i hate the nasal spray. I'd rather inject myself, but I am scared to try something new, in case the cycle is a bust again, then i'll blame myself for messing with it.
Well, that was a long long story. I just needed to share with people that understand. It would sound like mumbo-jumbo to anyone else!!
Jo, I'm glad the FS has made you feel better about things. I really, really hope you don't get to option number 3! When it comes to the choice of synarel and lucrin - I've done both and would pick the lucrin again every single time! Apart from the fact that one didn't work and the other did, I found lucrin gave me lots less side effects. Even when you take the sinus problems out of the equation, the headaches from synarel were just BAD, but the lucrin ones were a lot milder. It's also only a once a day thing, much easier to cope with. It is of course up to you, but if I were in that position and had to do the same thing again, I'd be trying to change what I could to see if that gave us a better outcome.
Me... just tired, cold... and haven't had a single anxious blip today at all! May have just been because it was a quieter day, may have been the fact that I now know what causes it. Still pretty stressed out with unpleasant work situations and seriously contemplating taking some time off from work around transfer... I'm sure I can talk my GP into giving me some time off work due to the stress I'm under there and the stress of the IVF cycle... What does everyone else think?
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