Hi everyone
sorry saffy about your bil and his news it hits hard doesn't it but you have to brush yourself down and keep going.
sunbeam fx it was 1st time lucky for you will be waiting for your results, don't be in too much of a hurry to test you may be testing too early and giving yourself uneccessary greif !
Matthews mum glad your still around and it was lovely that your buried your embys hope you got some peace from doing that, are you still going ahead with a donor egg ?

afm well I had a 2hr consult via skype on friday evening to Cathie who is the founder of Thailand Fertility she is a lovely lady and has suffered in her journey to become a mum over 40 with her DH.
I was quited shocked to find out how badly your fertility falls after being 40 as we all know but after 44 every month it drops dramatically I was so shocked and a fool to beleive for the last year I would be different as I had kids already no way you can't change whats going on inside ladies. Well I do feel that we have wasted a lot of time and money on tests and so on over the last few years but in another way I guess I am at peace knowing we did everything possible to get a natural bfp and of course failed.
I am feeling much more postitive that this time next year I will have my baby although I have to use donor eggs I feel its a gift someone is willing to give me instead of a consalation prize and when I get my baby I will be happy to leave my TTC in the past and be happy that someone in the world was kind enough to become an egg donor.
I am in the process of choosing my donor atm I have around 8 profiles and I do have a favourite already and we are looking at going ahead for middle of January. They start my donor on her meds and me on the pill to syncrynize our cycles and then do an egg pick around day 13 to 14 DH and I fly out and DH does his bit in a pot lol and off to the lab to grow embys after day 2 they freeze some and keep the best 4 going to day 5 and hopefully by day 5 we have 2 good strong embies to put into my uterus that will be waiting as I will have taken durgs to get it ready , then I will take hormnones not sure of the names until 10days after transfer and if a bfp carry on with the meds till week 12.
We decided to risk having twins although just one would be brilliant and if it doesn't work 1st time then we have more on ice for 2 more transfers when we are ready.

So that is my plan my DH has been fantastic and helped organize everything and is so excited as I am I feel like the last week my whole life has changed for the better I know I now have a good chance of getting my baby and everyday I get up in the morning and have this feeling of joy its not been there for the last 2 yrs and its so nice to be in a different frame of mind !