LTTTC Two Week Wait - Nov to Dec

[Brunette]

BJ - It is so hard to not read things into everything, isn't it? If we weren't in the TWW, no doubt we wouldn't even notice the twinges/cramps etc. I try to tell myself it's nothing and not get my hopes up, but then I go and do stupid things like work out the date the baby would be born based on day of conception, and what starsign the baby would be On the last cycle I had two embies transferred and every night I would say goodnight to them and good morning, and then when it was a BFN I felt like an idiot. So this time I haven't done that - and then I feel guilty as if I've given up on them when they might still be there and doing fine! Aaaaagh.

[bj*81]

Actually never mind......AF just showed up Looks like I was right....another for me. I'm just going to go and hide in my cave for a while.

[Brunette]

Sorry to hear that, BJ. Take care of yourself.

[Sal79]

BJ - I'm so sorry Look after yourself today.

Mrs P - that sounds so promising. I've never had such a strong second line, I would be feeling very hopeful! When is your BT?

Daisie - hello and welcome! I have endo too, which is our only diagnosis, otherwise we're "unexplained". How about you? There's nothing like the support from these women to keep you strong. And it's a great place to let your emotions fly too!

AFM - I couldn't tell you whether I thought I was pg or not. Friday and Saturday I felt nauseous, crampy and very emotional, but then yesterday I had only mild physical symptoms but was crying at nearly everything! DH thought it was the buildup of the crinone that had me feeling so lousy, but if that were true wouldn't I have continued to feel that way Sunday and today? I just scoured the house looking for HPTs, even though DH and I agreed we would wait until BT. Thankfully I couldn't find any, which will help me keep my resolve. I don't know how I'm going to wait until Wednesday. I'm so hopeful, but so scared of being disappointed.

[sammiejam]

Hey gals!

Just popping in here to tell you guys of my experience I remember how I felt in all of my 2ww's and i was going crazy for info. I have been reading for the last couple of days and my heart and support goes out to each and every one of you.

The background.
I am 24 weeks pregnant from a transfer of 2 fresh 3day embybabies. It was my first boost cycle and I only had 2 eggs (out of 7 that were retrieved) fertilise. It was an experimental cycle because we didnt know how my body would react as my other cycles were the long ones . I had decided that I wanted to try the boost as I was running out of time before the medicare changes. After egg collection my FS did not hold out much hope as I only had 2 eggs that were mature. FS said that he knew exactly what to do for the next boost cycle and that we could start again really soon. Guess he REALLY didnt expect it to work lol.

Before this successful cycle I had 1 fresh cycle resulting in 1 blasty and 1 frosty blasty. Both BFN's.

What happened.
Day of transfer - had both 3day emby's transfered with no problems. One was a good 8 cell, the other was an ok 4 cell. I insisted on having both done, it was suggested that I have the 8 cell put in and let the other try to get to blasty. Nope. No way, no how.

I am pretty much done with blasty-waiting. I think that too many good, fertilised eggs are lost doing that. I firmly believe now that the embies are better off in my tum or frozen when they get to day 3. JMHO of course.
Anyways, after transfer I went straight down and had a strong coffee as I read somewhere that caffine is good. Went home and cried for the rest of the day, just felt sure it was all a big waste of time - wasnt going to work.
2-5dpt felt bad. Had pains in ovary area, irratable - basically AF type symptoms. 7-9 dpt got sore boobs and had definate pmt crampy pains. Knew it was caused by the horrid progesterone injections (no crinone this boost cycle). Ugg.
10 -11 dpt- weird stabbing pain in lower left side with a kind of dragging downward feeling. Thought a huge AF bleed was imminent. The stabbing pain almost felt like it was in my ovary. It was the only out of the ordinary pain I had. I now believe it was implantation.
11dpt- went to pub for lunch and had a medicinal guiness cos was convinced that i was definately BFN. No symptoms of pregnancy at all, everything seemed to be related to progesterone support.

12dpt- got totally fed up with waiting and decided to do a hpt while there was a chance that prog.support would cause a second line. Just wanted to see what it would feel like to get a bfp, even if it wasnt real. (yep, I had totally lost my mind at this point)
Did a hpt first think in the morning. Was negative straight away. Shrieked at DH like a mad woman that I "knew what negative looked like when i saw it" and to leave me alone when he wanted to check to make sure. ( not my finest moment but things arent always rainbows and sunshine when it comes to ivf). So, i threw the test away and cried for half an hour.

In the meantime, DH retrieved test from bin 15 minutes later. He sat and stewed for a while due to my previous reaction and then he came to me with the test. "Look at this" he said. "I might be crazy but i think i see a faint second line"... WELL. I snatched that thing out of his hand like it was a winning lotto ticket and peered at it like a mad scientist. OMG it f*ing did have a very very very faint second line!!! I made myself be calm and told him was most likely high progesterone levels, I would try again tomorrow morning. Went down and bought 5 hpt's for "just in case".
That day, no real symptoms to speak of, just some AF style cramps.

13dpt. Did second hpt at 4 am, faint second line still showing - it was 8 days since last progesterone injection, according to google it leaves the system after 7 days. I allowed a tiny bit of hope to creep in.

The next day, 14dpt, went for blood test. Result BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very high HCG levels, possibly multiples. Interesting to note, even though my levels were very high (around 900) the hpt only showed a really faint line, even at 14 days after transfer.

IN TOTAL AND UTTER SHOCK. (still kinda am) Had scan after a few weeks, both embybabies from transfer had implanted. At 8.5 weeks one of the little heartbeats disappeared, vanishing twin syndrome. Was a sad but had to focus on the one beautiful healthy baby that remained. Took a few weeks to get over it but I am fine now. I am still absolutely AMAZED that this cycle worked and resulted in a baby. I was pretty much convinced that it only happens for other people.
Kept doing hpt's even after i got the bfp. Compulsively. They were faint for ages.

In summary -
-Horrible but true, symptoms mean nothing. Progesterone injections and crinone cause AF symptoms. AF symptoms are very similar to early, early pregnancy. So we cant win lol.
-Hpt's are the enemy. Although resistance is futile.
-You gotta have nerves of steel in this game. Its a gamble. You lay your money on the table and with bad odds, you give it a shot. Be prepared for disappointment. Hope for the best but plan for the worst.
- HOWEVER, remember that it does work. As long as you have the resources, keep trying. IT CAN HAPPEN FOR YOU.

Big hugs girls. I have my fingers and toes crossed for everyone.

Sammie

[sammiejam]

double post.

[Sal79]

Thanks Sammiejam for a fantastic post, it's very encouraging. I particular like the "nerves of steel" part, it's going to be my mantra for the next couple of days. I'm also learning to not speak of symptoms, but merely of side-effects of hormones. Slowly learning...

Yay Mrs P! Can't wait to hear confirmation, and then you and DH can celebrate together!

[Loops12]

Sammiejam ~thanks for the lovely post - very encouraging

BJ and Jaki - so sorry for your neg's . Hang in there and big hugs x. Hope you can both get back on the horse soon.

AFM ~ Ive had some weird lower tummy pains but not sure if its just constipation (sorry TMI). But is constipation a good thing when in a natural cycle? I have no idea. But going by Sammie's advice im not going to stress over it.
Cheers

Big

[Mrs P]

I still can't believe it but it's for us - our first ever. Beta level was 2069 (19 days after fertilisation). Cautiously optimistic at the moment Clinic want to do weekly bloods for now and I have to continue the pessaries, progynova and estrogen patches.

[xx Rob xx]

I still can't believe it but it's for us - our first ever. Beta level was 2069 (19 days after fertilisation). Cautiously optimistic at the moment Clinic want to do weekly bloods for now and I have to continue the pessaries, progynova and estrogen patches.

OMG Mrs P Thats awesome welcome to the club

[Daisie]

Congratulations Mrs P!!! Great work! I"m so happy for you.

Daisie

[Mrs P]

BJ - so sorry hun. Go and hide in your 'cave' and take some time out for yourself.

To answer your question from your previous post, the 'spotting' was just like brown staining and a little on the toilet paper when I went to the loo. Was never red or pink, just brown. Was present a couple of times over two days.

Sal79 - you're so close now - only 2 more sleeps til BT!

AFM - had my BT this morning. Probably won't get the result for about 5 hours I think. Was the fastest and easiest blood collection I've ever had! I have now POAS four times, yes I am obsessed. My DH was really mad at me for testing early, he is trying to be sensible and telling me not to get too excited etc etc. He just wants to protect me as he has seen how devastated I have been previously. The thing is, as far as I can tell, the only reason for my +ve POAS is pg hormone in my urine, which either means I am pg or I was pg. Only a few hours to go - will be sure to post back either way.