Wouldloveabubba - I'm so sorry sweetie I know how hard it is, and I also had the really black bleeding and painful AF after first IVF, just to rub our noses in it
It's so hard with the clock ticking away, the pressure is unbelievable isn't it???

I found it helped once I had grieved a bit to try and make a bit of a plan to have something to focus on....I have used the time waiting to try and get fitter, eat better, and we tried naturally even though the chances are slim, it made me feel more in control and on top of things while we were waiting.

Take care of yourself, thinking of you