Furious at a magazine article

[~BecD~]

As per my post in the LTTC thread, I read an article on Thursday in a popular baby magazine which basically pits IVF Mums v naturally fertile mothers and I am fuming over it!

Some quotes from the article:

"Yes I'm fertile. Disgustingly fertile. I'm a fertility goddess. But please don't ask me to apologise for it"

"The inferility goddesses may have snazzy Mercedes convertibles, but I'm hardly going to ask them to keep them garaged at all times just because I fancy having one too."

She mentions her "hard working ovaries", and how a friend didn't reveal she was pregnant until (gasp) 22 weeks because her sister-in-law was in the middle of her third IVF cycle. But who made the decision not to say anything? The friend did, not the woman doing IVF. But we are fair game, so lets just blame the infertile woman.

Also that she was the 'spring chicken' in her obstetrician room at age 29, because women "decide to focus on their careers, or come to the conclusion, year after year, that it just isnt the right time". Because of course age is the only factor in infertility isn't it. The guys have nothing to do with, neither does PCOS, endometriosis, or any other cause. Nope it's all because we waited too long, we are all selfish career and money obsessed women. Apparently "if we spent as much time planning out families as we spend planning our mortgages, we wouldn't be in this mess".

Oh, and a really good one - "IVF is the new black. Because of course we only do IVF because it's the done thing these days. Nothing to do with the fact it is a MEDICAL ISSUE!

I am so furious about the whole thing, I'm going to write a letter to the editor when I calm down enough to be objective. It's also been suggested to me that writing to the advertisers of the magazine might be worthwhile too, which I will be doing.

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to mention the magazine name, but I will anyway and I'm sure one of the mods can take it out if they want to - it's 'Autralian Parents', one of the Woolworths magazines. The new Feb/March 08 issue, pages 82-83

[visitor1]

"Yes I'm fertile. Disgustingly fertile. I'm a fertility goddess. But please don't ask me to apologise for it"

OMG.....thats sad. To say things like that is low.

Good on her for being so fertile...i get the same comments just because i fell preg within 5 weeks adter DD1 birth....big deal. I guess i just have a little more luck then some people who are not so blessed.

I always say if i can have babies for every family that wanted kids but are unsuccessful time after time...i would. But one day..my luck is gunna stop...

Who's to say ill never be able to carry another now...no one knows.

I might buy that magazine too....thats wrong and its a put down to alot of families stuggling with fertility issues...they dont need rubbish like the printed in their face.

[Kazbah]

I think you should just copy and paste this.

[fionas]

Well I hope the 29-year-old who is quoted faces some life events (like divorce and then another partner later in life) which makes her decide to have another child when she is comparatively over the hill. Perhaps then she wouldn't be so smug!

I resent the simplification of the whole fertility vs IVF thing. I have a career but it doesn't define me and it didn't affect my decision on whether I wanted children or the timing thereof. I was married at 23, divorced at 32, had my heart broken at 34, met my current DP at 36 and had a baby at 38. So I didn't exactly drag my heels! But to the outside, judgemental world, I have left it VERY late to be starting a family - regardless of whether I need IVF or not (which I didn't).

There ARE women who have their heads in the sand and DO leave it too late but I don't think they are the majority. And even if they have, what are we going to do - crucify them and say, "sorry, you really should make NO bad decisions in your life so we're not going to give you IVF."

[butterfly_warrior]

I just want to know who the rotten sod is who switched my mercedes convertible for the beaten up excel in the driveway! I'd kinda like it back, please!

My infertility is NOT a lifestyle choice. My need for IVF is most certainly something that wouldn't have changed if I'd started TTC at the age of 21 instead of 31. Same with DH, age makes no bloody difference here!

I've just been about this since I read about it this morning! Time is not making me any calmer!

BW

[briggsy's girl]

i wouldn't waste my money buying the magazine - getting additional sales because of a controversial article - well, they won't get my money! i'll check their website - i'll see if it's on there - if not, i might ask Bec if she minds posting me a copy of the article - i'll pay postage - Aus post can have my money, but the publishers won't - i will never buy that magazine - what a disgusting attack on extremely vulnerable families!

[Willow]

This is totally evil but I can't help it - I hope the idiot that said that ends up like me - I managed to fall pregnant with my first two babies without any effort at all, we were very fertile. All it took was a cyst on my ovary - our son is an IVF baby.

The ignorance and arrogance of some people is astounding!

[sushee]

I feel awfully sorry for this woman. To be that clueless and that self-centred takes a special sort of dimness, and how can you not feel sorry for someone that myopic?

I went from super fertile to completely infertile, and in the process had my eyes opened and my mind and perceptions challenged. And grew from that to be a more beautiful person who, for all my pain and bitterness, I would not change for a million dollars. Hunny, I am the one with the snazzy mercedes, you're the one trying to drive the beat up old bomb with no engine under the hood, you just don't know it.

[Kazmar]

im sorry 2 butt in here but i saw ur post and it cought my eye.
These articles have been written by ladies that should think b4 they type! They have rounded infertility down 2 such superficial reasons and have proved tehre lack of intelligence! My Auntie is TTC and has been 4 a very long time and has done everything that ur "surposed" 2 do, and i've seen what a strugle it has been!
These ladies really need 2 get educated on the subject then open there mouths until then, SHUT UP!
BecD: R u able 2 write 2 the magazine?

[briggsy's girl]

Bec - i really do believe i want to have my two cents worth to this magazine - i'm obviously a whole lot more intelligent and articulate then the people who wrote it - and they deserve to get some full force feedback! i don't hold back when i'm really annoyed, and to be so judgemental - grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

would you mind forwarding a copy of the article to me (either scan and send images - or i'll give you a couple of bucks to photocopy and post it??)

[Lissie]

It really is very sad that people out there just make asumptions on our behalf. I did not wait because of career etc its just that life happened that way. It would be lovely if we had a plan for life but for some its just not that simple. What if one does not find there life partner till late 30's? What if other issue get in the way such as family illness etc - does that mean we meant to put ourselves in this position. No one in there right mind would put themselves in the IVF basket unless absolutely necessary and if for some woman they did choose a career first to get set up well in my opinion that is there right and no one has the right to tell them they are wrong do they? We all have different paths in life and if some of us got to the baby issue a little later than others does that mean we should be judged by this, what if a woman was married and then finds herself divorced in her early to mid 30's then what? I really hate being judged by anyone when it comes to choices in life and how we got to be older and then on IVF. It makes me fume at such judgemental people. I am actually surprised it got in the magazine i thought our world out there was more intelligent than that.

[Willow]

I did not wait because of career etc its just that life happened that way.

That's exactly right - in my case it had absolutely NOTHING to do with age. I have 4 very close friends who also have IVF bubs - all of us started IVF in our 20s!!

I went from super fertile to completely infertile, and in the process had my eyes opened and my mind and perceptions challenged. And grew from that to be a more beautiful person who, for all my pain and bitterness, I would not change for a million dollars. Hunny, I am the one with the snazzy mercedes, you're the one trying to drive the beat up old bomb with no engine under the hood, you just don't know it.

Sushee - once again, you've said it better than I ever could!

[Ginger]

it's so disappointing...and just so narrow minded to write articles like this when they have no real understanding of what women go through. such ignorant b88lsh7t!!!!

[mrsmac]

I think the author needs to come in here and meet some of the "mercedes drivers" who are apparently among us. I would like her to walk a mile in their shoes and see how it feels, I have had my eyes opened up to so much more of life from being on BB and I am grateful for it.
My cousin found out she was infertile in her late 20s and after testing her younger sister found out she was too, so so much for leaving it too late they were young! They are completely infertile too they have no eggs.

[briggsy's girl]

i must have had a brilliant life and gotten my career off to a brilliant - and early - start!

i was informed i would most likely have trouble conceiving at around 17 - i'm now 27 - and yes, my fs states that i'm one of his youngest patients - but i don't think age or career mindedness enters into it for a lot of people! i'm guessing a lot of us have tried to get pregnant from a younger age and haven't been able to - it's become more pressing as we get older... grrrrrrr - i'm still furious!

[briggsy's girl]

ok, just something else - this mag have a forum attached - that forum has a TTC section - i didn't degrade myself so far as to become a member to see whether there was an AC section within - but i find it even more distressing that they might do this when people that are MEMBERS of their damn site might be going through IVF!

[sushee]

Maybe I should visit and post a link to BB? Just so everyone there knows we consider them to be mercedes here.

[meow]

OMG!!! What an appallingly bad taste article! I'm shocked. I certainly wouldn't touch this magazine with a 10 foot pole.

You know what... I waited to have children. I left it till my 30's even though my H and I met when I was 20. We didn't buy a merc but we sure blew a bunch of money on travel. If I hadn't have been so blessed as to be able to get pregnant when we chose to after waiting would that make me a bad person, worthy of scorn??

Jeez, how can people be so nasty? No-one chooses IVF and no-one deserves a hard time for accessing it regardless of how they got there!