Personal rant - stressed and worried about this cycle
Hello,
I'm sorry for this very selfish rant, but I just needed to get my feelings out. We are just about to start our second stim cycle - 3 days into my lucrin injections! On the day of the first injection, I found out that my mum needs serious spinal surgery in the next 2-3 weeks - she has a long history of back/spine probs and now needs surgery to stop her from becoming a quadraplegic. Its not a huge surprise, but there is a chance she wont make it through because of her poor health. Following that, we found out DH has a tumor on his thyroid. Because of his age, it should be ok and not cancer, but he is scheduled for a biopsy for next week, and the we will get the results 1st week of sept. All this is going to happen approx when we need to have the pick up and transfer! On top of this all, DH has taken a new role at work (he did not have a choice really) and is flat out, and I have a new job, but in the same org I been in for a while - so ditto - very busy.
I just feel like everything is working against this cycle - and it is all out of control! The only thing I can control is stoping this cycle but I dont want to do that, but I dont want to set myself up for failure either. I just want to sit in a room somewhere and rock - but I cant, I'll keep going and keep running myself into the wall so I dont let anyone down.
I'm sorry, in five I'll be under control again, but till then this is my frustrated scream!
FG
You never know. This could be the one just coz you have so many other things on your mind. The one you least expect to work might just be the one that works.
Well I hope so anyway.
GL to you, your DH & your mum.
FG, this isn't a selfish rant at all! it's understandable that you're feeling stressed, and torn in a million directions at the moment. just remember, one day at a time - and you are allowed to cancel your cycle if you need to. sometimes it's better to delay a week or three rather than going through the pressure of a cycle when you're not up to it. i know you want to keep going, and i more than understand that need to control - but always remember you have to put your mental health first...
take it easy hun - and hope there are good outcomes for you and your family right across the board.
it's hard to relax but you can still get a good result even with all this i had so many things happening when i did first cycle and still got 11 eggs and 7 fertilise and even though i got a BFN i am doing a froz tfer in a week and i feel more relaxed now.
i tried to make some me time and i have 3 boys so it is hard to do. but even 5 minutes listen to some music and breathe. it's prob hard to get some acupuncture out in bush but a romantic massage from dh??
hope all goes well and fingers crossed this is the one for you .
Farmgirl - wow what a stressful time for you. You aren't being selfish at all, I think most of us would feel super stressed to go through all that at once! Big hugs I hope you find some nice quiet time to sit and process it all. I am thinking of you, good luck with the cycle.
Last edited by Maruschke; August 29th, 2008 at 10:41 PM.
Sorry you're having such a hard time Farmgirl. Really hope you get some good news on your mum and DH, and you cycle as well, obviously. Maybe cancelling would be a good idea though, - at least then you'd be removing one cause of stress.
BTW, i had my thyroid removed due to a tumour - happy to answer any questions you may have, though hopefully the bioposy will be all good.
Personal rant - stressed and worried about this cycle
- but I cant, I'll keep going and keep running myself into the wall so I dont let anyone down.
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