We tried for 3 years before getting our first BFP.
I don't know if I ever really was able to maintain positivity all the time...there were many times when we would just get so disheartened, especially when all our friends were falling pregnant, without hardly trying!
The things that got me through were:
amazing support from family who were always willing to talk and LISTEN!
trying to "get on with life"...easier said than done, I know. I realised that I was putting many things on hold "just in case"...work stuff, travel plans, etc. I eventually got to the point where I just decided I needed to get on with life. I resigned from my job (I was always hoping I'd be resigning due to maternity leave) and started up my own business...this helped keep my mind off the TTC "journey"
giving myself permission to grieve, get angry, disappointed, etc. Sometimes I found myself trying so hard to be a "martyr" or a "good sport", that it just got too much. I came to the point, where I needed to give myself permission to have "bad days", days when I vented, cried, etc.
writing in a journal. I found this amazingly helpful. Just giving myself space to let the feelings out...without anyone needing to respond to them
trying to look out for the good things in my life. Being thankful for what I did have rather than focussing too much on what I didn't have. My DH and I would often talk about the blessings we had in our lives, some of the advantages of not being pregnant/having kids (even though this is what we wanted)
trying to believe that there was a "reason behind all of this TTC struggle". I didn't know (and still don't really know) what the reason was...but trying to hold on to the belief that there was a bigger purpose in it all...whether I understood it/liked it or not
protecting myself. Trying not to put myself from the full brunt of pregnant mothers, babies, etc. Making excuses every now and then, why I couldn't catch up with friends (and their beautiful babies...which were hard reminders of what we didn't have). I think that a bit of self-preservation is so important
making "definite" plans. We got to the point where we had to start putting some plans out there. Looking at alternatives (e.g. if x doesn't work in 6 months, then we need to consider y). Not that we necessarily held strictly to these plans, but it felt better (for me at least) not to be "floating"...it might just be a personality thing!
I hope you don't mind me writing in here, given that our TTC journey is temporarily over...sometimes I wish I could delete my avatar as I know what it feels like to see them...but I was just hoping that it would give you some hope...
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