Secondary Infertility - Please Help

[Hummingbird]

I think this is going to be a bit of a poor me post, I haven’t been very active on here for a while but can always find encouragement. I have a beautiful and most perfect DS who was conceived on the third month of trying I felt really blessed that it happened so quickly, then hoping for kidlets close in age, we are trying for number two and nothing is working.
We’ve been trying pretty much since I got my AF back casually for about 3 months and then ‘properly’ with the right timing for 21 months. I have tried acupuncture, chinese medicine, counselling, 2 x IUI, 1 x IVF and 1 x FET….The best I got was a natural chemical pregnancy about a year ago. Every test I have had done be it seems to be ‘perfect’ which means I always get my hopes up only for nothing to happen, or thinking that the next baby is just around the corner, sadly not. I was convinced that it may have had something to do with my emergency CS but the scan came back fine. I think I would rather there be a clear issue as then I would have something to work on or try to fix.
I know that I am so lucky to have my beautiful boy, but I also want to give him a sibling so much and meanwhile the age gap is getting bigger and bigger that I fear they will not even be mates. I am so blessed as he is such a good kid but coming from a big family myself I know I won’t feel complete until we have another.
I am sick of being told to ‘relax’ or ‘not think about it’….When you are spending thousands of dollars and spend every non working hour with mums who are pregnant with 2nd or 3rd children it’s really hard, or even celebrating a 1st birthday when you both started trying at the same time.
Sorry to be such a grump, has this happened to anyone else? Or does anyone have any ideas of anything we can do? I think I will do another FET this month (of course the IVF went perfect and we had 5 frozen 5day blasts.) Is there something I can do to help implantation? I did eat pineapple core, nothing cold, rested etc. It seems everything is perfect but still no pregnancy??? Or even just a slap in the face to make me shake out of this slump and stop crying at the drop of a hat.
Thanks for reading xx

[Mildez]

I don't have alot of advise but just wanted to say I am thinking of you and praying that your next sticky BFP is just around the corner. It seems a fairly common scenario when I was ttc my 3rd. Many of us had not had trouble in the past and suddenly it wasn't working the next time. Out of over 20 of the girls I become close within several forums not just this one almost all have gone on to get pregnant and have a baby and some are now pregnant with another conceived much easier then the last time. We all took over the 2years to conceive our babies. Sadly one have not yet.
Have you had a laparoscopy? This is what diagnosed my problem which would never have been known without it. I'm surprised at the amount of woman who have had every test but not this. What about a biopsy to test for natural killer cells?

[Hummingbird]

Thanks so much for responding Mildez, it's so hard when it's something that you want so much but can't seem to do anything to help the cause.
I haven't actually had a laparoscopy, my doctor seemed to think that the hycosy was enough as I didn't have any problems the first time and thought anything would come up with bloods or the hycosy...Perhaps I will ask about that and the killer cells.
It's just so hard each month having to dust yourself off and try to get positive only for nothing to happen month after month meanwhile everyone around me seems to fall pregnant just by looking at their partners - I am sure this isn't the case and me just feeling sorry for myself
I find myself not wanting to spend time with anyone when I am down about it and haven't even told my family or friends that we've been doing IVF cause I don't want to have to deal with questions and I know that they will tell me just to 'relax' and it 'will happen'....Which clearly doesn't work!

[Mildez]

I was lucky that the relax and it will happen approach worked for us the month before we commenced IVF. At the time I felt like killing anyone that suggested that however and would never suggest that to someone else. Usually if your not pregnant within a certain time there is a problem not to say you wont get pregnant ofcourse just that something ro a few things are not working as they should. You physically can't relax when you want a baby so bad and you know your around ovulation. Even when the years are ticking up you still hope that DTD around O time will produce that miracle BFP. It certainly wont if you don't thats for sure. In the end for us we were set to go with the drugs and the IVF clinic so I just had to wait for AF to start my meds. I was so excited that IVF gave me hope of conceiving as I knew I had good eggs and was a good age (27) it was just the anatomy which was no longer working or thats what we thought. I had lost one tube and my remaining tube was affected with endo and adhesions that after a period of time it was thought that it wasn't working so obviously limited chance of pregnancy happening. The month I conceived was the only month where I didn't care as I felt so positive about having IVF. And I did get pregnant. When I suggested it to my fertility Dr he said that its ridiculous to think when you dont think about it it will happen. He said it was just pure luck.
When I had a lap I had a pelvic infection which was unknown. A hycosy would not have picked that up as my tubes were not blocked. Well only enough to cause an ectopic pregnancy. As one of my tubes was sick it was basically poisoning my uterus which was causing me to not get pregnant and the few times I did I m/c due to the unhealthy environment. When my tube was removed it solved my problem and my next pregnancy was a success. I also know a few ladies that have a really high count of natural killer cells so there body basically attacks any pregnancy that tries to imbed. The funny thing with natural killer cells is that is doesn't seem to affect every pregnancy as the woman I have known have had prior pregnancies before without trouble. There are so many reasons why conception doesn't happen and I guess for some people they never know. But after a period of time I would want to exhaust other avenues to see if that way you can manage something. Once we knew what my problem was we could have a management plan so that was good to know so we could move forward in our journey.
We are about to ttc again. We did try for a year and due to a family situation we stopped but have finally made the decision to try one last time for another child. Hopefully this time it happens quicker.

[LysnDan]

Couldn't read and not post.

I haven't gone down the IVF path, DD was AC using clomid after a long TTC journey. We are hoping that we can TTC without it this time, but things aren't looking much better. I want a close gap between my kids too. Hugs, it's not easy hun...

Have you poked your head in the assisted conception, ltttc threads? Id link them, but im currently on my phone so can't... Sorry xx

[faye*]

Hummingbird, come join us in the Long Term TTC thread... there are many of us going through the same thing and I myself find this process so much easier with their support... Hopefully this link works...

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...ption-Feb-2013

[mummy2tje]

I think this is going to be a bit of a poor me post, I haven’t been very active on here for a while but can always find encouragement. I have a beautiful and most perfect DS who was conceived on the third month of trying I felt really blessed that it happened so quickly, then hoping for kidlets close in age, we are trying for number two and nothing is working.
We’ve been trying pretty much since I got my AF back casually for about 3 months and then ‘properly’ with the right timing for 21 months. I have tried acupuncture, chinese medicine, counselling, 2 x IUI, 1 x IVF and 1 x FET….The best I got was a natural chemical pregnancy about a year ago. Every test I have had done be it seems to be ‘perfect’ which means I always get my hopes up only for nothing to happen, or thinking that the next baby is just around the corner, sadly not. I was convinced that it may have had something to do with my emergency CS but the scan came back fine. I think I would rather there be a clear issue as then I would have something to work on or try to fix.
I know that I am so lucky to have my beautiful boy, but I also want to give him a sibling so much and meanwhile the age gap is getting bigger and bigger that I fear they will not even be mates. I am so blessed as he is such a good kid but coming from a big family myself I know I won’t feel complete until we have another.
I am sick of being told to ‘relax’ or ‘not think about it’….When you are spending thousands of dollars and spend every non working hour with mums who are pregnant with 2nd or 3rd children it’s really hard, or even celebrating a 1st birthday when you both started trying at the same time.
Sorry to be such a grump, has this happened to anyone else? Or does anyone have any ideas of anything we can do? I think I will do another FET this month (of course the IVF went perfect and we had 5 frozen 5day blasts.) Is there something I can do to help implantation? I did eat pineapple core, nothing cold, rested etc. It seems everything is perfect but still no pregnancy??? Or even just a slap in the face to make me shake out of this slump and stop crying at the drop of a hat.
Thanks for reading xx

Have you had any exploratory surgery, hysteroscopy? I have 3 gorgeous healthy kids and having been trying for my 4 th and final for over 3 years now with 6 miscarriages. The reason I ask about the surgery is because scar tissue doesn't always show up on a scan and also having a biopsy of your uterine lining might also show something up too. I had a hysteroscopy as i thought maybe i had scaring from retained placenta and severe infection but in. The end found out my NKC ( natural killer cells) in my uterine lining were too hig and killing off my embies. have you been cycle tracking? made sure your OV? Please don't give up hope yet, even though i know to well thats easier said than done. The next time someone says to relax and stop thinking about it just say quite firmly and gently " we are past that, it's NOT going to happen on its own". People sometimes say the stupidest things that hurt our feelings without meaning too, they just don't and never will understand what you are going through.
Good luck honey and I hope you find some answers soon xoxo

[Hummingbird]

Thanks everyone.

Mildez – That’s so great that you got your BFP before starting IVF, I have heard of that quite a bit (actually know a couple of people it’s happened to as well!)

Mummy2tje I love your advice to say “ are past that, it's NOT going to happen on its own”…Will try that one…Thanks for all of your advice.
I have never tracked my temp as I know I would just go crazy if I did and become obsessive (instead I search Dr Google for everything! Ha ha), though I use OPK and they are right on time and I always have great fertile CM and very clear signs. When I have been having blood tests the results are always ‘excellent’ and they can see when I am coming up to Ov and when it happens etc and always my numbers are ‘great’.
I am going to do a FET and we’ve decided if that fails then we will look further for the NKC and other things, my FS said that the results take a while to come back and most people would get a BFP by No3 so will try that in the hope that it works.
I don’t think we will try another full round of IVF, aside from the $$ I just don’t understand why it’s not worked and since we got so many frozen ones that ‘should’ be enough to get one :/ The retrieval wasn’t fun, instead of being a quick 1 hour visit I was one of the first there and last to leave (9 hours as my blood pressure went weird, I was throwing up and all sorts of weird things)….Anyway fingers crossed I don’t come to that decision as I know I’ll probably change my mind.
xxx

[Miss.B]

Hi Hummingbird I'm sorry your TTC #2 has been a hard journey for you, I can really understand as I am going through it myself. The only advice I can give you with your FET is to DTD the night before the transfer and become a couch potato for a couple of days. It's what worked for me. It has gotten harder once my DS was born as of course I couldn't put my life on hold and not pick him up etc, but I still managed to get the embie to implant in my second last cycle (unfortunately this pg ended up in a m/c due to a chromosonal issue). One of my friends has also tried a 'scrape' before her transfer and I've also heard of embryo glue, but not sure what that is exactly. A lot of girls swear by acupuncture before and after transfer too. GL with your next transfer hun .