Sooooo, TTC #2 after the IVF/ICSI rollercoaster for #1

[MummyNaomi]

DH and I are on the verge of starting the journey of TTC#2, and inevitably we will likely use ICSI later in the year once we have enough $$.

However in the meantime we are hoping for a miracle as although our chances of conceiving naturally aren't zero, there is faint hope (DH has severe issues with sperm motility and morphology).

Although I'm good to go, feeling positive and excited, a few things are playing in my mind....

a. We got pregnant first cycle last time after having only ONE successfully fertilized embryo - extremely lucky!! However I fear that based on that my expectations will be too high and fear how I will go if things take number of cycles.

b. The cost - with the changes to medicare a while back the cost has risen SIGNIFICANTLY compared to what we paid when we cycled back in 2008. Now that we have DS our disposable income has significantly dropped, so we wouldn't be able to afford more than a couple of cycles at best.

c. I feel like I have a different attitude this time, so far I don't feel so desperate as I did last time when I didn't even know if I would ever be a Mum. Now I am and I feel that if it doesn't work, although I'll be shattered, I can make peace with it. But I remember how all consuming TTC was last time - I don't want it to impact DS in anyway.

Anyway, I guess I am looking for others who have conceived using AC and then gone down the path of TTC#2 to share their experience - How'd you cope, what were the challenges? Was it harder, easier? Were your expectations different?

TIA,
Naomi

ETA - For those that know DH or myself IRL or on FB, NOT A WORD!! We are keeping our impending new journey on the low down as last time regretted telling our nearest and dearest!!

[meg79]

Hi Naomi

I was in this position just 6 months ago. Although for us chance of concieving naturally are zero and for our first bub it took 9 ICSI cycles (7 fresh). It was a big decision to start trying again. We had originally planned to return to the IVF clinic when our son was 6 months, but we were loving parenthood and put it off. Eventually we decided to go back last Sept when he was 2 1/2.

It was all different. Firstly as you say the cost was massively increased with less medicare rebate. And I was only working 2 days a week so we knew we would only get 1 or 2 goes at it money wise, and ended up borrowing from my parents. That did increase the stress level but it was different from the normal IVF stress.

I found going in to the cycle that i was far more relaxed ( both with the procedure and the outcome) your no longer struggling to be a mummy, you are one. So its much easier to accept whatever may come. I like you did not want it to affect my child negatively so i think it changes how you react - when it does not revolve around you.

I think it will be hard for you after being so lucky the first time not to expect something no matter how much you tell yourself the true odds etc. Its hard to change expectations. I went in to my first cycle thinking this could take another 3 or 4 years of IVF so lets just get the first cycle out of the way. Well this time im the lucky one and am 20 weeks pregnant with twins. I think your body reacts better to the cycle when youve been pregnant before, and it is far less stressful trying for a second child so i think that too was a major factor in the success.

I know other women who have been successful first try IVF for both 1st and 2nd children, I wish you this same luck.[/url]

Goodluck with the journey xx

[onthefly]

I didn't get my cycles back till DS was 16.5 months. We had decided already that we'd try naturally for a while, then go back to IVF, so I night weaned at 14 months to bring on af and we did that. Of course we didn't conceive naturally, so went to our first FET when DS was 23 months.

I knew I didn't want to wean early to TTC again, nor did I want a close age gap. We were also lucky that DS was conceived on our first transfer and we had 6 embryos in the freezer. DD was also conceived on the first transfer.
I think having one baby 'in the bank' as it were, as well as backup embryos on ice did take the pressure off a bit. Yes, the cost had definitely gone up heaps, but physically doing the FET was easier for me. Of course, it's always easier if you only have to do one cycle - it would be different it we'd had to go back again and again.

I guess we'll do much the same next time round - we have 2 embryos left and might be so lucky again.

Good luck!!

[MummyNaomi]

Thanks girls - seems the things on my mind are pretty normal I appreciate you both sharing your experiences xx

[Kaybee]

Hi,

Just thought I'd share my stuff quickly. I was in a similar boat to you, I think. I fell pg with DS in 2008 from our first ever ivf cycle. So, I thought, no, I almost expected, that TTC #2 would be a breeze. We had heaps of frozen embies, so when the first one, then 2 didn't work I wasn't too disheartened (well that's in hindsight, but at the time it wasn't much fun). But it ended up taking forever and we had to go through a couple of miscarriages. Anyway, I think the reason I am telling you, isn't to get you down - it was just how my attitude changed. When we started out I thought "no pressure, I'm already a mum" etc etc, but as time went on and it looked like DS was never going to have a sibling, I was never going to feel a baby move inside me again, or breastfeed, or bla bla bla, I wanted it as desperately as the first - only this time I wasn't just sad for me, I was sad for DS too and for what he might miss out on.

I completely understand the money issues, and also had to borrow from family, but like with the first time round, you find the money if you need it and, as you know, it is worth every single cent and more.

I think I started out with a point here, but I've lost it now. Having a little one to look after definitely helps keep things in perspective - it is hard to stay in a crumpled heap when you have a little hand tapping you on the shoulder and pulling you to come and play.
Good luck!!

[Coral73]

MummyNaomi - Great idea for a thread! I too am almost at the point where we are starting to consider #2 after our 3rd successful ET.

We are going to try naturally as well (DH also has severe issues with sperm motility and morphology) with a very small chance of success. I think our FS gave us a 0.05% chance per cycle of naturally falling pregnant!

I am also a little apprehensive about how I am going to react this time.... I have 5 snowbubs on ice (same batch as DS) and am trying to tell myself that we might not have success from this batch this time round, although, if I am being truthful....deep down I am secretly thinking we won't need to do another stim (I should know better than this though, as experience has taught me that with IVF you should always expect the worst so you can be plesantly surprised when things actually go your way! ).

I think I will be shattered if we have to go to another stim due to the financial, emotional and physical stresses of IVF. I am scared that I will never be pregnant again or be able to give DS a sibling. I feel bad even writing that because I know how LUCKY we are to even have DS at all .

I am hoping that this last point will give me more strength this time round whatever the outcome...

PS: We have also decided not tell anyone this time round (except for immediate family) to help ease the pressure

[jayejaye]

Hey girls. All your stories are similar to ours. We conceived DS after 2 stim cycles and 2 FET's with the last FET being successful. He is now exactly one year old and the light of our lives. Due to our age, we started trying again in Feb when DS was 8 months. It meant having to wean him, which was emotional for me, but i decided that i wanted him to have a sibling, and therefore had to make that choice. Our first stim cycle failed, as did the next FET. We were pretty sad, but determined to forge on. The thing that got me the most was i kept thinking to myself "DS will never be this age again, and i am focusing on IVF when i really want to focus on him". It ****ed me off that i felt like i was being forced to be distracted from him. Anyway, we booked for the next stim, and low and behold had a natural miracle!! Still cant believe it, and keep telling DS over and over he is going to be the best big brother ever, even thoug he doesnt understand a word!!

So in short, i found no.2 as stressful as no.1, but for differrent reasons. In the end, i think you just have to focus on the end goal, and know it will all be worth it in the end!!

Good luck girls, i hope things work out for you all.

[MummyNaomi]

Well, we have an appt with our FS on July 6th to get the ball rolling for baby #2, not too far away now. No luck trying naturally for us so far, and my cycle is a bit different too which I want to talk to the FS about. I used to be a 28 day cycle girl month in month out, but now it seems I am anywhere between 21-25 days so not sure whats going on there. Anyway, we will hopefully get a cycle or two in before christmas. Currently I am excited, but nervous too

[Joy08]

Coral - Geez it's taken me a while to get back on here! Thank you so much for your reply and your kind words. Where are you at with your FET? I have an FS appt in a few weeks to organise to start the next IVF cycle.. so should be starting injections again in about 3 weeks! Maybe we will be starting around the same time?


JayeJaye - Thank you for sharing your story. Congratulations on the BFP! You must be so excited! I think your right you need to focus on the end goal.. It's just hard at times to not get caught up in it all!

MummyNaomi - Best of luck with your FS appt! Looks like you & I will be starting at the same time! Are you doing an IVF cycle or FET? I am looking forward to getting the ball rolling for bubs #2!

[MummyNaomi]

MummyNaomi - Best of luck with your FS appt! Looks like you & I will be starting at the same time! Are you doing an IVF cycle or FET? I am looking forward to getting the ball rolling for bubs #2!

Joy08 - FET, we have no frosties so starting from scratch

[Baby Dreamtime]

Good luck tomorrow for your appointment Naomi. And love your 365 project xx