Just thought I'd share my stuff quickly. I was in a similar boat to you, I think. I fell pg with DS in 2008 from our first ever ivf cycle. So, I thought, no, I almost expected, that TTC #2 would be a breeze. We had heaps of frozen embies, so when the first one, then 2 didn't work I wasn't too disheartened (well that's in hindsight, but at the time it wasn't much fun). But it ended up taking forever and we had to go through a couple of miscarriages. Anyway, I think the reason I am telling you, isn't to get you down - it was just how my attitude changed. When we started out I thought "no pressure, I'm already a mum" etc etc, but as time went on and it looked like DS was never going to have a sibling, I was never going to feel a baby move inside me again, or breastfeed, or bla bla bla, I wanted it as desperately as the first - only this time I wasn't just sad for me, I was sad for DS too and for what he might miss out on.
I completely understand the money issues, and also had to borrow from family, but like with the first time round, you find the money if you need it and, as you know, it is worth every single cent and more.
I think I started out with a point here, but I've lost it now. Having a little one to look after definitely helps keep things in perspective - it is hard to stay in a crumpled heap when you have a little hand tapping you on the shoulder and pulling you to come and play.
Good luck!!
MummyNaomi - Great idea for a thread! I too am almost at the point where we are starting to consider #2 after our 3rd successful ET.
We are going to try naturally as well (DH also has severe issues with sperm motility and morphology) with a very small chance of success. I think our FS gave us a 0.05% chance per cycle of naturally falling pregnant!
I am also a little apprehensive about how I am going to react this time.... I have 5 snowbubs on ice (same batch as DS) and am trying to tell myself that we might not have success from this batch this time round, although, if I am being truthful....deep down I am secretly thinking we won't need to do another stim (I should know better than this though, as experience has taught me that with IVF you should always expect the worst so you can be plesantly surprised when things actually go your way! ).
I think I will be shattered if we have to go to another stim due to the financial, emotional and physical stresses of IVF. I am scared that I will never be pregnant again or be able to give DS a sibling. I feel bad even writing that because I know how LUCKY we are to even have DS at all .
I am hoping that this last point will give me more strength this time round whatever the outcome...
PS: We have also decided not tell anyone this time round (except for immediate family) to help ease the pressure
We too have embarked on the rollercoaster journey of trying to have another baby. Our DS is 21 months and is the love of our lives... we feel very blessed to have him. We did an IVF cycle back in 2008. We had a fresh transfer which was a bfn and DS was the result of the first FET. We had 2 embies in the freezer and we just went through and did a FET... we got the result on Wednesday and it was a bfn. We dont have any left in the freezer now as the other embie didn't survive the thaw. I had pretty high expectations that this FET would work (as it did the first time) so when we got told we weren't pregnant I was pretty devasted! I thought I was a lot more relaxed this time around as we already have a child so the sense of urgency wasn't as great. I was also doing acupuncture and taking herbs so I thought this would also contribute to a positive result. I am feeling a lot better about it all now and am gearing up to do another IVF cycle.
The cost has gone up a lot since we did the first cycle 2 years ago! We too will have to borrow money from family.
Coral73 - I too am scared that I may never be pregnant again or be able to give DS a sibling. It's also hard as everyone in my mothers group has just had their second babies and I find myself wishing that was me!
I’m really sorry to hear about your BFN I can’t imagine that that phone call would be any easier to receive regardless of already having been blessed with a little one (that is my biggest fear…. feeling that horrible disappointment again and wondering what ‘if’ all the time – !!)
It definitely is a scary thought that we have had our one and only little miracle already (I know we are still more fortunate than some and don’t want to sound ungrateful when I say that) ….
I can feel your pain.... all of my friends were having their 2nd when I was pregnant with my 1st as it took us that much longer to realise our dream....
Sending you lots and lots of and 'ing that we are both lucky enough to be granted one more little miracle!
PS – Contact me anytime if you need to vent
GOOD LUCK to everyone else - may we all realise our dreams (no matter how may little miracles that may be!)
I appreciate you both sharing your experiences xx
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(I should know better than this though, as experience has taught me that with IVF you should always expect the worst so you can be plesantly surprised when things actually go your way!
).
.
I can’t imagine that that phone call would be any easier to receive regardless of already having been blessed with a little one (that is my biggest fear…. feeling that horrible disappointment again and wondering what ‘if’ all the time –
!!)
….
and
to everyone else - may we all realise our dreams (no matter how may little miracles that may be!)
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