Too scared to TTC

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

DH and I have been married for just over 2 years. We both really want children, but I've been told since I was 18 that it might not be possible.

We haven't been using any protection for the last two years, with no result. I know that we should now be going to doctors and gyno's etc. But I'm terrified. To this point, I haven't been told it will never happen. I'm afraid that they'll do all the tests and tell me I'll never have a baby. I don't want to know.

I'm not sure if I even belong in this group, not sure if I can be classed as 'TTC'. I was wondering if any of you lovely ladies went through this? What made you decide to start all the tests and procedures? If you didn't, can I ask why?

If nobody wants to respond, I understand. I just feel like I'm stuck, I can't stay where I am, but I'm too scared to move forward.

[Bea06]

Your poor thing!!

Ithink it's better to go and have everything checked out. At least if you know what's going on you know where you stand and can make informed decisions.

Good luck.

[Kitt3n]

oh hun!

A friend of mine was told at around the same age that she would neer be able to have kids. I dont know what the reason was.

But she is now very muchly pregnant with a little girl. (she is now 30 - never tried before but didnt stop it happening)

Go and get it checked out.... you never know

Sending you lots of "fertile dust"

[Ryatha]

I was told the same thing due to a number of reasons. But I found a ob/gyn that I really liked and he did some tests. I was lucky enough to fall pregnant with DD pretty early. I had a bit more difficulty with the one I am carrying now, but fingers crossed it will be ok.

It is also worth checking out a naturopath or accupuncture. I've heard that can be pretty helpful as well.

Good luck

[satya]

You are considered LTTTC so don't worry about that.

Go get checked out. Two years is a reasonable amount of time to try before seeking assistance. I waited for 3 years to get checked out so I do understand you not wanting to face the issue.

You haven't said why you think you wont be able to have a bub. All I can say is that my cousin who got told she probably wouldn't have any due to massive cyst issues had two kids in rapid succession whilst I who had no detectable problems took over 10 years to have a child. The doctors don't always get things right.

[farmgirl77]

SG,
When my sister was very young about 5 or 6, she had a medical condition that at the time (I think as I'm only 2 yrs older than her), that meant she should not have kids. I've lived with this fear for her for all this time (she is now nearly 30), but have never really discussed this with her, but now that I'm going through our own LTTTC journey - i hold lots of fear and sadness for her. As far as I know, she is not yet thinking about kids, but then again she may - we are not that close.

I guess that what I'm trying to say is that things change over time, what you were advised may no longer be as correct as it once was, but I know how fear can prevent you from finding out. After two years, I would be speaking to a good GP and trying to find a good FS who you trust and take it from there - good luck.
FG

[belle75]

SG. Just wanted to say PCOS is not the end of your fertile life. A lot of research has been done recently and yes, it may not be easy and you may need intervention, but I am positive there will be an answer for you. So don't be scared. I was once in the same boat as you. I knew there was a problem but refused to seek help for fear of the wrong answer. Go see a FS (ask your GP for a referral) and get closer to holding your bub! Lots of I know it's scary times but see a specialist. That way at least you'll know what to expect and what steps you must take to get your BFP.
Are you taking anything for your PCOS yet? are your cycles regular? Don't worry hun, just go get a second opinion. And if you need to talk, just holler. Big

[Cassius2]

Hi SG,

i too was told when i was 20ish that i couldnt have children (IVF was offered as a slight chance...).

like you i kinda went underground and DH and i TTC for 18 months before having DD. although i didnt go back to the conventional medical route (ie i avoided my first OB like the plague). i did my own investigation on the condition i had (endometriosis) and went in search of alternative approaches (like change in diet and saw an OB fertility specialist in homeopathy).

also doing some charting of cycles may help if you want to keep trying self-management. but i have to second what the others have said and maybe go and see someone again (even just to get a second opinion just so you know where your body is at).

[Aimz]

Big hugs

I know it seems so difficult to get tested as the outcome is unclear. I understand what the uncertainty feels like as I am about to have a procedure to determine how bad my endo is, which will have an effect on my ability to concieve naturally.

At first I was so upset when I found out that I had endo. But now I am glad I have answers and my doctor has a plan in place to manage it until we decide to fall pregnant. It really is a relief to know where you stand.

It may be a case of you needing intervention but the medical world, especially IVF, is delivering miracles every day. I promise you that you will feel so much better when you have a plan in place with a doctor. And then you'll be on the way to having a gorgeous little bub.

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

First of all, thank you all so much for your responses It means so much to me that there are other women who know what I'm going through, and you care about me.

You haven't said why you think you wont be able to have a bub.

Honestly, I kind of stuck my head in the sand as soon as anything was said. From what I understand, the reason I may not be able is because I don't ovulate regularly. I used to get 4 or 5 periods a year, and then my OB put me on the Pill to regulate it. I reacted badly to that, and once I went off, I only got 1 or 2 periods a year. So I can't chart my cycle or anything, because I honestly don't know from one day to the next whther I'm gonna get my period.

The last two times I got it, I actually thought I had miscarried because I got two BFP's. I asked my OB about it, because blood tests showed I definitely hadn't been pregnant. He said that sometimes the hormone levels get so high that you can get a false positive on a HPT, but not a blood test. When I thought I had m/c'd, I was just a little bit happy, because I thought 'At least I know I can get pregnant'.

But to not even have ANY pregnancies in over 2 years of unprotected sex - I just think it's not gonna happen. I know in my head you're all right though, I need to get it checked out properly, even if I find out the worst, at least I can move on.

Thanks again for all your responses - coffee and cheescake for all

[belle75]

Just wanted to say I was only getting my period 2-3 times a year while TTC. I didn't stand a chance of getting a BFP then because my cycles were too long and unless you DTD everyday/every second day! for months on end, there is no chance as you will be very likely to miss your fertile period. Insulin resistance in PCOS is the culprit that stops you ovulating regularly. It took 2 months of metformin (from my ob) to get the cycles down to an average of 44 days. Fertile CM also stared to appear and I knew when I was ovulating .To be able to pinpoint my fertile period and BD around then gave me a better chance at that BFP. I also started temping when I started metformin. This assured me that I WAS ovulating, so I didn't do my head in thinking that baby was impossible!
For me it was the combination of eating healthy (low GI) , going for 1 hr walks daily (exercise), metformin (for insulin resistance), EPO 1mg 3 times a day (to increase CM) and BBT charting that got me my BFP. HTH. Goodluck and sending you heaps of babydust. Don't be scared. Find a good ob who specialises in PCOS (google melbourne obstetric society) and go get that bub. Big