Thanks BG, but I think we've decided that until both boys are at school it just wont be cost effective... and the emotional and practical cost will be too great too... it's mainly that I am feeling really lonely being a fulltime SAHM and I'm kinda musing whether returning to work for personal satisfaction reasons would be worth it... not fulltime... I'm musing that more mums return to work because of lonliness that will admit to it... *sigh* it is just so hard.... sometimes I wish that more mums would stay at home just so that there would be more opportunities to network and mix with other SAHMs... I go to 2 activites per week with my boys that give me that contact... but it's not really enough... anyhow life goes on... shouldn't wish away these precious years with my boys either!