Returnig to work

[Nicapotamus]

Hi everyone,
It's early days as yet, but I'm thinking ahead and wondering what other's have experienced. My usual job is a lower management 4 day per week pozzy but I don't want to go back to 4 days per week when my DD is only 1 year old. My Manager is really wanting me to return to work and is likely to be flexible where she can, but she's limited in only being able to offer me what is available and she needs to fill any outstanding EFT. I would ideally like to go back to 2 days per week to start with, I'm thinking she'll offer me 3 days.

Has anyone gone back to working 3 days per week with a 1 year old? What is it like? I'm thinking its a lot of time to be seperated from DD and have her in the care of others. How have other people's 1 year olds coped?

[OceanPrincess]

Hi Nica,

I have recently started my second round of mat leave for second bub - in between I returned to work for three days, when DD was just short of one year old.

We were very lucky - we were able to leave her with my mum and sister for one day and my in laws for two days, so we didn't have any child care adjustment issues! TBH she loved the time she spent with them - she would hold her arms out to Grandma or my sister and wave happily goodbye as I left for the day. End of the day she'd always be happy to see me but never super clingy or anything!

I actually think it made me happier to have a bit of time away from DD, esp early in my pregnancy when I was so sick and tired. It was nice to have a bit of down time by going to my boring office job!

Good luck with it...

[Nai]

I returned to work 4 days a week when DD1 was 12 months and dropped back to 3 days when she was 15 months. With DD2 I returned to work when she was 12 months 3 days a week. It was hard but both girls have adjusted really well and they both love it. My mum has them 1 day a week and the other 2 they are in CC. They love it when they see me after a long day but they also love going to see their friends.

Personally I found 4 days to be too hard but 3 days was a good balance.

[MantaRay]

I agree with Nai that 4 days is really hard, but I found 3 days worked quite well. I know the thought of being away so much is very daunting for you now, but many of us find that our kids love the change of scenery and do really well, which makes it much easier to do. It also is quite nice to have a little time away and be able to eat and go to the toilet without interruption!!

Another thing I found is that 3 days a week is enough to help the kids settle better into their new care arrangements and have it feel like part of their normal routine.

All the best hun. I am sure you will find something that works for you

[deletedit]

I went back to 3 days a week when DD#1 was about 7 or 8 months old. She absolutely loved daycare, and since she could crawl and tell people what she wanted I figured she'd be fine. Of course, she ended up wrapping everyone around her little finger, being such a bossy little thing.

The problem was I couldn't get any substantial stuff to do at work being 'only' 3 days, so I stepped up to 4 a few months later so they'd take me seriously. Being single at the time, however, with the way CC and HECS and tax and Centrelink was structured, I ended up being $200 a week WORSE OFF financially at 4 days so I dropped back to 3 pretty smartly. I think I worked out that the breakeven point where working X days was better than 3 days was around 7 days a week - not possible in the public service.

[Nicapotamus]

Thanks for your replies. I'm feeling a bit more positive about maybe doing 3 days per week. I'm pretty sure I'll appreciate some time away and it will probably make me appreciate the time I have at home with DD even more. When you have a 3 month old, it's so hard to imagine what they'll be like as a 1 year old and how they'll manage, but I have to start negotiating with my boss soonish. i'm pretty sure this is going to mean a demotion because they like their managers to be there at least four days per week, but this will mean less responsibility for me too, so that's ok.

I'm hoping my mum will be be able to help with a bit of child care, and that would be nice for her and DD, but this is not definite at this stage. I'd feel much more comfortable leaving her with a family member than in day care at this young age but this may not be possible.

I'm loving these bellybelly forums, I have a mother's group and a couple of friends with babies and older kids, but so rarely get to have a proper conversation to ask these sorts of questions.

I miss uninterupted conversations. And cups of tea. And, yes being able to go to the toilet when I need to.... the things we take for granted before babies! Of course it's all worth it.

[Snacks]

I miss uninterupted conversations. And cups of tea. And, yes being able to go to the toilet when I need to.... the things we take for granted before babies! Of course it's all worth it.

LOL, amen.
After having both my babies I returned to work 3 days per week, the first time Natty was 13mo, this time Phoebe was 8mo. TBH both times I would've preferred 2 days, but this wasn't negotiable. I find working 3 days to be an odd mix of emotions for me. I miss my girls terribly, but I find my work stimulating and enjoyable.
It's hard to know how your kid will cope - they are all different. My kids get looked after by my parents a couple of days a week and their place is like a second home now. It's a big call for my folks and sometimes I feel like I have asked for too much, but when I see the bond they share with my kids I feel pretty good. I love that my kids have them and visa versa.

[PollyA]

Hi,

I have been to work between 3 days to 60 hours a week (AWFUL) since DD was 4 months and I have to say 3 days is absolutely perfect and is what I am aiming for in the future (I am quite junior in my profession and have very little say about when I work so far)

3 days was lovely. and the benefits of working are the coming home smiles and cuddles, the increased patience you have on your days at home and I think you really maximise the times you have with your child.

Also, to be a little philosophical about it, throughout history there has never been a time quite like this where we exist in our little boxes with one or two adults and how ever many children we decide to have. Early on I use to feel really guilty about not being there for my DD and then I realised she has several people bringing her up, which is such a bonus. I don't want her to be a mini me, I want her to be her. Its great she is already getting used to different ways of doing things. And also should anything happen to me she has people who could really step in, not just out of an uninformed love, but with experience and who really "know" her. I also think that it has really helped her development. An example is climbing. She is a great climber, There is no way I would have encouraged her to climb to the top of the playground but she hung out with her Dad who encouraged her. WHen I am with them my heart rate goes up but I realise she is good at it, careful and I am glad she got a chance without me pulling her off or making her scared. There are plenty of other examples too, her and my DD sing together and he plays guitar (I wish I could play but can't).

ALso as far as daycare goes, she LOVES it. There is no way I would be able to get the paint out as often as they do, the activities are great and she loves hanging out with other kids. Thanks to family and my DP she only goes 2 days a week and I think thats just right. On the mornings she goes she gets so excited. I started her at 1 (tricky age as they have just started to get really clingy) and I am thinking of starting DS one day a week at about 6-7months after such a great experience. Also she eats whatever they give her (not the case at home) so I know that she gets two good days of a varied diet, and when daytime sleeps started going pear shaped daycare helped us to work out how to get her to sleep.

I think the best advice is just to give it a go. See how it goes for you. One is a tricky age so give it a month or so before you make any rash decisions but I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Good luck with everything

Also want to add that I have concentrated on the benefits of being a working mum because that is what I am, There are of course benefits to staying at home too. Each has its advantages and disadvantages.