Returning back to work :-(

[Ngala]

Well, after changing my mind soooo many times, too many to even count!! I am returning back to work. DH and I dont want me to return back to work, but I said at the beginning of my maternity leave that if finances are real bad, I'll have no choice and will need to go back to work. I could be going back in a matter of weeks, even tho I still have a month and a bit to go, but thats not really long is it!!

I know that I am not the first mum to go back to work, but I dont know how I am going to handle it! How do you go from being a SAHM to being a working mum??!! I am hoping to go back to work part time and would love to only have to go in 3 days a week and work 9am - 2pm.. not sure if that is going to happen but it would be great!! Also, it would be great if my MIL would look after DD on the days I go in to work - something I need to discuss with her..

So really what I want to know is how YOU found it returning back to work, whether it was said from the beginning that you ARE returning to work or if you were in the same situation as me (not wanting to go back but have to). How did you manage to juggle work life and family life - in particular all the house chores!!! I know that DH wont be helping me much around the house when I go back because his work is so physically demanding that by the time he gets home, he just wants to crash!

I'm going to find it so very hard to leave my DD. I love being at home with her, but if I can leave her with MIL, then I would feel a little bit better about needing to go to work. Not sure how I will feel if DD does need to go to daycare...

[lilima]

I HATED going back to work, and honestly it has only been the past month or so that I have been alright about it. I work 3 days a week 10am to 4pm. J is in childcare one day a week and the other 2 days he is either with his dad or with my mum.

At first it is TERRIBLE. I felt horrible about leaving J. But now I know that he is alright and he is happy with the people that he is left with, I am feeling better about it.

You do manage to get the housework done, you just do more loads of washing on one day etc.

Good luck.

[MantaRay]

V, TBH, it wasn't as bad as I thought. In fact, for me, I found pt work was ideal, giving me and the boys a good balance. I am not liking ft work nearly so much, but even then it isn't actually as bad as I was expecting. I'd still prefer to go back to pt, but seeing as I can't, at least this arrangement is working ok for us all atm.

The boys have 2 days in day care and 3 days at home with the PILs looking after them. I think there are pros and cons to both, but they love their day care days and I think it's been really good for them, so I wouldn't change that.

[DoubleK]

ive been back at work for just over a month now, and im really loving it! i work Wed, Thurs & Fri nights 4-9pm, then Sundays 12-9pm.

we never really talked about me going back, but this job came up in the main street of the town i live in, which is ideal. dp gets home by 3.30pm, and i dont have to leave til 3.55.

at first i was so tired, and so worried about how dd was going to go without me there, and how dp would handle being home alone with her till 9 (he leaves for work @ 5am) but its worked out great. we're slowly getting into a routine, i have a mental note in my head what i HAVE to have done before i leave for work (15 min tidy up of the house- i usually do this twice a day. and also a load of washing done and hung up, and dishes done) otherwise i get bogged down in dirty dishes and clothes, and i feel all frazzled when i leave for work!

ive found dd enjoys the time with her dad, and it gives us a break from each other(which i COULD live without, but i think all mummies need a break every now and then!)

i do our grocery shopping friday mornings, i make sure we're back by at least 2pm. and i use mondays & tuesdays to catch up with our play group or go to the shops, and i visit my parents on a saturday after lunch!

having a routine helps a lot, that way you know what needs to be done when (eg.washing clothes everyday suits me, but some people might wash every second day) and you can plan ahead without worrying too much.

good luck with it!!

[Willow]

V, like MantaRay, I found it not as bad as I was expecting. I'm lucky and financially I only have to work 2 days a week. We could get by with me being at home full time, but we certainly wouldn't be as comfortable. We are also able to leave DS with MIL (if I stop being so stubborn and agonising over it, but that's another post ) so it makes sense for us to take advantage of that while we can. I don't really want to go back, but I know that once I get back in the swing of it, it'll make life a lot easier. And while you never think you'll feel that way, it actually does make you appreicate the time you have to yourself (even if you are working!) and especially the time you have with bub. It can be a nice balance. Having said that, I can't see me returning to full time work until they're both at school, I hope we never find ourselves in the financial situation where that would be necessary - I admire all those mums that do it.

WRT House work etc, you'll just sort it out, you'll both find a new rhythm....

[Willow]

OK, this double posting is driving me NUTS! Sorry guys...

[MrsFabuloso]

I really didn't want to return to work, but had to especially when I found out I was pg again. oTHERWISE, I would have taken another 6mths as we could have just made it. I still don't enjoy work and the place I was sent to I really don't like. DD stays with my mum or DH depending on his work days. Being an early childhood teacher is really draining and I don't have much energy left for DD when I get home. I only work 2-3 days a week, but I'm buggered by the and of the day, and especially if I have to do consecutive days. My mum complains DD is so active, unlike her children, even though she was more than willing to do it in the begining. And her house isn't very child friendly. It makes it hard cause I feel guilty for leaving her in the ifrst place, even with DH, and especially with mum whinging about it. Next year I will probably have to return full time or at least 4days. I don't know how I will do it. And the kids will be going into childcare. So I have to work (in childcare!) to pay for childcare and come out the end of the week with maybe an extra $150. Unless I can get a higher paying job somewhere else...It seems so useless, but it is necessary and we would have to sell up and rent if I don't do it. Some things have to be done.....

[saslia]

I had to return to work for the same reason with DD....DH had long service leave so he stayed home when she was about 7 months for 2 1/2 months while I worked and the next year she went to daycare...she was about 10 1/2 months.

I HATED doing it but we would have lost our house had I not worked. She was a surprise ( I had been told by 4 drs I would never have kids) and we had used all our savings to build our house which was finished the same week she was born!!!

I would loved to have had someone I know look after her like you can but DH has no family and mine live too far away.

Interesting to note that DD is now 7 and still talks about the stuff she did at DC ( she hasn't been for 2 1/2 years)

Good luck