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thread: Working Mummies Support Group

  1. #109
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Melbourne
    3,300

    Re: Working Mummies Support Group?

    Hope your first day went ok MN.

    Today reminded me of a few things

    1. I hate working when it is raining because pushing kids round to daycare in the rain is no fun.

    2. Is more fun being at home when is not raining.

    3. A cool thing about work is meeting DH after work to do stuff. Fri - went to cinema, today off to rugby (in the rain though most likely) - ok can only do this when have mum as our live in child wrangler but is a good thing at the moment.

    4. Working is bad for waistline - why do all these people have to have birthdays and force me to eat cake :-)

  2. #110
    Registered User

    Sep 2011
    Melbourne
    403

    Working Mummies Support Group?

    Wysiwyg:

    I agree with (4). Except I'm usually the one providing food coz I'm generally bored!!

  3. #111
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Adelaide
    3,201

    Hope your first day went ok MN.

    Today reminded me of a few things

    1. I hate working when it is raining because pushing kids round to daycare in the rain is no fun.

    2. Is more fun being at home when is not raining.

    3. A cool thing about work is meeting DH after work to do stuff. Fri - went to cinema, today off to rugby (in the rain though most likely) - ok can only do this when have mum as our live in child wrangler but is a good thing at the moment.

    4. Working is bad for waistline - why do all these people have to have birthdays and force me to eat cake :-)
    First day hurdle done, it went ok, lots of tears and DS cried when I dropped him at childcare, I think my emotion got the better of him. However the day flew and I was home for the best cuddles of my life

    I agree with Point #4. When I went back to work after DS I put on 10kg in 12 months, too many morning teas and lunches. This is quite the culture in our workplace and sitting at a desk all day means my incidental exercise is minimal. I am now 15kg down on my pre-pregnancy weight so am determined not to let this happen again.

    What I remembered today is that when I come home and DH is cooking tea, I get to play with the kids, which pretty much means arsenic hour was non existant as the kids had my full attention. An added bonus!

  4. #112
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Adelaide
    3,201

    double post

  5. #113
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Melbourne
    3,300

    I need to seriously consider what I want to happen with my contract as is up mid July. Any advice on what to think about how to calculate etc. I don't think permanent will be up for grabs yet as they have just taken on the other contractor as permanent so don't think any headcount yet - but suspect they will want to renew for at least three months ( will have to be three days a week I think as mum will be going home). There is no such thing as short day care is there? Ideally I would like to work 7:00 to 15:00 as some others in office do but I would still pay same in daycare whatever. 7:00 to 15:00 would be my preferred for when at school so maybe should just try moving to it now. Not ask for more money but the different hours.

  6. #114
    Moderator

    Oct 2004
    In my Zombie proof fortress.
    6,449

    You could find a family day carer happy to do hours like that, but you might find the cost the same. I used FDC for awhile, whilst I only paid for the hours I booked, I had to provide food, had times when I had to pick up early as she had an appointment, there was a fee from the council for handling it all. So overall I found it was not cheaper to LDC.

  7. #115
    Registered User

    Nov 2008
    in the ning nang nong
    12,163

    Any chance or a nanny? Would that work out better?

    Good luck

    I was talking with a client today, who said that his wife had gone back to work for 3 days a week, and he was so glad, because "she was literally getting dumber by the day". Do people really speak like that about mothers (parents) who have been SAHP? He wasn't saying that she was glad to be more stimulated, or to be among grown ups, or appreciating different types of challenges, or urinating without an audience ... he was saying categorically, to his lawyer over coffee that his wife was haemorrhaging neurons being away from an office so it's good she's "back in the game" three days a week, so that he's not being made stupid by association through the lack of intellectual conversation over his meat and three veg at 7pm every evening.

    FFS. Some people.

    Even if he's repeating something she's said, that doesn't make it ok for him to say it about her behind her back. So disrespectful. If my husband said that about this working mumma, I'd be livid.

    Rant over.

  8. #116
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Melbourne
    3,300

    A few people have said nanny but if I am honest I think our flat is too small and we have no garden ( and ocassinally complaining neighbors ) - I like the extra room they get at childcare and I think I would find it stressful having someone come here. When I am home with them we go out alot but I think them being here five days a week even with plenty of outings wouldn't be so good. In my mind when first investigating childcare I think I always thought there must be short day care because why else would it be called long day care if not to distinguish it :-)

    I think really whatever happens with work they will stay where they are for childcare they love it and I really like center too apart from cost (apparently one of cheaper ones too!)

    What a stupid thing to say about your wife especially to someone he had no idea what views they held.

  9. #117
    Registered User

    Sep 2011
    Melbourne
    403

    Peanutter: I would have had a really strong urge to thump him.

  10. #118
    Registered User

    Sep 2011
    Melbourne
    403

    Wysiwyg: have u looked at occasional care? They're shorter hours usually but sometimes cost as much.

  11. #119
    Registered User

    Sep 2009
    watsonia north victoria
    2,161

    Any chance or a nanny? Would that work out better?

    Good luck

    I was talking with a client today, who said that his wife had gone back to work for 3 days a week, and he was so glad, because "she was literally getting dumber by the day". Do people really speak like that about mothers (parents) who have been SAHP? He wasn't saying that she was glad to be more stimulated, or to be among grown ups, or appreciating different types of challenges, or urinating without an audience ... he was saying categorically, to his lawyer over coffee that his wife was haemorrhaging neurons being away from an office so it's good she's "back in the game" three days a week, so that he's not being made stupid by association through the lack of intellectual conversation over his meat and three veg at 7pm every evening.

    FFS. Some people.

    Even if he's repeating something she's said, that doesn't make it ok for him to say it about her behind her back. So disrespectful. If my husband said that about this working mumma, I'd be livid.

    Rant over.
    wow, id be horrified if my husband spoke about me like that!

    he has said to me im much more on the ball now im back at work but he would never say it publicly!

  12. #120
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Adelaide
    3,201

    Wow - what a horrid man. I'd slap my DH if he spoke about me that way

    Going well here. DH is loving the SAH gig and doing so well. Dinners cooked when I get home, housework done, happy kids. I reckon he is almost as awesome as me PMSL

    WYSIWYG - hope you get a contract renewal that suits you and the family.

    I'm winding down the pumping at work. Only getting 30-50ml when I pump so it's almost pointless. I think my boobs gave adjusted to not feeding during the day. I'm feeding in the morning, when I get home, bedtime and the one overnight so DD is happy. I miss the kids like crazy though. Although work itself is busy, interesting and fulfilling, by Thursday I am totally over being away from my babies. Can't wait for sept when I go part time

  13. #121
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber
    Add Beautiful Disaster on Facebook Follow Beautiful Disaster On Twitter

    Jun 2010
    Brisbane - where it is never like it should be.
    3,411

    I really need to find a new job. This one is getting me sooooo down I just hate going. I hate having to send my DS to daycare unwell cause I feel like I'm letting work down if I don't go in. I've had the last 2 thurs and fri off cause I've been so sick.

    I love the industry and the work I do just not the company I work for. At the moment there just isn't enough to keep me busy and I get bored easy. I need to be kept stimulated or I get to the point I'm at now.

    I'm over the hour bus ride to and from work as it means I'm out of the house from 7-6 and that's a long day away from my bubba.

    Ok my sooky Monday rant is over. Have a great week ladies

  14. #122
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Melbourne
    3,300

    BD - I sympathise with the long hours - I wish someone would hurry up and invent the teleporter!

    First time today had to deal with DD crying and begging me not to go to work - or to come with me (she got idea from Peppa Pig). Grandma wasn't wanted today because she wanted to do sewing and painting on TShirts and mum isn't really into craft and can't sew. Am working all week this week so maybe mum and dad can bring her for a visit on Friday.

  15. #123
    Registered User

    Aug 2010
    Sydney Aus
    1,164

    dipping my toes in here.

    I have been back at work since DS was about 10 months old. I have coped well with it - as much as I would love to be at home with him, this is what works for us.
    I have also traveled for work since the beginning - not always loved leaving DS and DH but have been ok with it. But generally just an overnight trip.

    I am away for work now for the rest of the week - will be incredibly busy while I am away - and wont have too much time - except for a quick phone call here and there.
    DH took DS to daycare whilst I was in the shower, and I got the "bye bye mummy, i love you" and I broke down and sobbed in the shower when they left. I think now that he is more verbal (just turned 2) its so much harder.
    (early pregnancy hormones probably didn't help this morning)

    Does anyone else in here travel for work - how do you cope leaving you loved ones? Whether it be for a night, a week, or longer?

  16. #124
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Melbourne
    3,300

    I have travelled for work 2 & 3 nights so far and will have to do four in a couple of weeks and then two weeks beginning of Juky but probably coming home for weekend.

    To be honest I don't find it too bad, I worry how they are doing and I miss them but I don't really think about them that much - I am not that great at focusing on two things at once so working I am all work, home I am all home. I don't speak to them etc while away - I might email or send a pic to DH to show them but have found that trying to talk confuses them and causes more grief for whoever looking after them. For me it is just in my nature, I live other side of world from my parents and sister, my mum lived other side of world from hers and dad lived hours from his - so just not a family that requires much contact. DH is the same really - pre kids I travelled alot and neither of us feel much need to have much contact when apart. We are both quite out of sight out of mind. People are all different though I have worked with people who speak to the other halves multiple times a day on phone travelling or not - if DH phoned me or vice versa I would be really worried something bad had happened.

    I also know that the travelling for me is likely to be short term with this contract - as without support of mum who is off back to UK after it, I am not sure I could leave the kids with DH on his own for more than a day or two (not while he is working full time anyway).

  17. #125
    Registered User

    Aug 2010
    Sydney Aus
    1,164

    Its such a hard one, I do like the quick chats with DS, but I do wonder if it does more harm than good.

    I think part of the problem for me is the mummy/wife guilt.


    I also know that the travelling for me is likely to be short term with this contract - as without support of mum who is off back to UK after it, I am not sure I could leave the kids with DH on his own for more than a day or two (not while he is working full time anyway).
    When I go, DH is on his own. We don't have any family close by who can help - so he is juggling it all on his own. Working full time, doing the day care drop off/pick up on his own, bed, bath, dinner etc.
    I think this is where the guilt comes in to it, I know doing that on your own with a 2 year old is hard work!

  18. #126
    Moderator

    Oct 2004
    In my Zombie proof fortress.
    6,449

    I don't have to travel for work, even though I could if I wanted to. DH does though, so I have the kids, work and house to deal with by myself quite often. He does not suffer guilt for going away (it just annoys him).

    DD2 would love to have me at home and be with me "forever". Sometimes it is hard, but other times I think it is more beneficial for her to have that time away from me so she can socialise. She is great with her friends when I am not around.

    Feeling a bit venting these days. A few SAHM's locally have made a few comments that have really aggravated me. One was carrying on about concerns about vacation care, yet she does not use and does not even have a child that is old enough to use it (eldest at 3yo kinder). Basically told her to pull her head in, that how can she comment on something she has NO experience of and if other parents have concerns then should stop gossiping and talk to the council who runs it!

    If I hear "what have you been doing lately?" one more time I am going to scream! What do they think I do? All I do is get up, get the myself and children ready, drop them at school/kinder/cc, work, then do the pick up, then half the week take them to activities, go home, cook dinner and collapse.

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