Similar here about with DH - last year despite periods of no contract and being part-time I earned more than DH. Before we had kids I earned 3 times what he did - before having children we both thought that he would become the main caregiver and I would work - but that wasn't a workable reality - we tried for a while but I couldn't do the full-time long term and he couldn't do the part-time from a personal and career standpoint (and really wouldn't have wanted to be a SAHD, one because he hasn't got the temperament and two because he hadn't developed any sort of career at that point and to be a SAHD and then try and enter the workforce at 40+ was never going to work). Short-term the best option for us financially would have been for me to stay in full time employment and for him to either find part-time or stay at home - but long-term that would have been problematic financially.
For my children I hope when they are older the situation would be a little different because currently I would be advising them to think about how well the career field they want to go into fits with a family, and also the financial earning capacity of whoever they choose as their partner if they do want children and how they would work it. When I was younger I thought people who were making career and study choices based on what would work well for family life were bonkers - now I wonder if they were the sensible ones? - however I think it is bad for society in general if certain careers are dominated by certain types/gender but to stop that you need to make more jobs more compatible with family life - and move away from the one person has the career, the other person supports them by running the family (and may do some paid work also) type model.






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