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Thread: Cervical Incompetance or just Labour?

  1. #19

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    South Gippsland


    Hey Anike,

    I know you posted for Danielle but I wanted to share with you what has been told to me.

    It will not be what you want to hear but sometimes our bodies just do these things without any rhyme or reason. If you have read the same type of things that I read when I was trying to work out what happened if its a weak cervix with close monitoring they can detect changes and put a stitch in if necessary. If it was a labour problem then there is little if anything they can do.

    For people like us, it will just be a matter of close monitoring (request weekly monitoring if that will make you feel better) and hoping for the best, a full term pregnancy.

    We may be at different stages in our grief process, but for me letting go of "why did my body do this" has been the most empowering part. Even though it sucks arse big time, sometimes things just happen and its out of our control.

    Hon I am sending you big loving and understanding hugs, I hope you can let go of the "why" soon.

    If you ever want to chat pm me

    Nae x x x

  2. #20
    arh Guest

    Default Thanks Nae


    Thanks for you replies (both times - don't think I got around to saying thanks after your first reply).

    My ob said it was painless dilation of the cervix. He said I must have a short cervix and can either have a stitch at 14wks next time or monitor and then have a stitch if it's shortening. Not sure which way we'll go. I know there can be complications with the stitch but I also know that cervix could possibly shorten the day after I've had a scan and then I wouldn't be having another scan for another fortnight.

    I know I need to get past the 'why' stage, it's just hard because you think none of this should of happened. Have you tried again for a baby?

    Thanks for keeping in touch.

  3. #21

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    South Gippsland


    Hi Anike,

    Yeah I know hon. Its really just a matter of waiting til next time, my cervix had shortened too when I was admitted and we still do not know why I had contraction or why the membranes were buldging.

    Its just something they have to watch very closely for next time.

    Dh and I aren't trying at the moment only because I had a caesar and have been advised to wait 6-9 months. We are going to start trying in the New year seems like a good time - New Year = New Outcome (hopefully)

    Besides, everything is still pretty raw, we're still trying to organise plaques and Niki has only been gone for 2 months we need to make sure our relationship gets back on track so that we can provide a loving and warm environment for our next child.

    Part of me so wants a baby in my arms but its not the right thing to try to fill the void. There will always be that void and I need to become 100% comfortable with that before I even consider another child.

    But that just me.

    Take care of yourself and leave the self blame and the Why's behind you ... they do try to sneak back in but we have the power over our minds not the other way around.

    To help me, when I have a "bad day" and i hate myself for having a dumb body for giving birth too early, I get out into the garden or do renovations just something to put me in a different headspace and something to get me going physically and after 30 min or so I find I am not thinking of anything except for the task at hand.

    You will find your own outlet and your own way of controlling the brain tricks.

    Much Love to you I do feel your pain and I can say that looking for the joy in each day really truely does help.

    For me ... today I discovered the first flower in Nikita's garden had bloomed there is life and happiness even surrounding death and saddness.

    Anytime you need a chat even just to let off some angst pm me I am more than happy to listen - from one mum to another x x x

    Luv Nae x

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