I am becomming increasingly depressed, but not because of the baby, but because of other things that are stressing me out in my life atm.
I suffered from post natal depression after the birth of my oldest daughter, and it took a long time to recover, and with baby number 4, i suffered from pre natal depression, that was associated with the pregnancy, which i saw a social worker for and took months to help resolve the issues.
This time, im not sure its classes as pre natal, as its not about the baby, but i can recognise the symptoms of me heading that way, i know its mainly due to stress, not driving and the pressure of getting my kids to dance and soccer now hubby is on night shift, the fact my son is going through terriable 3s etc, i vent on face book, but then get things from my mum and sis going on about what i put on face book, i put it there cause i have no where else to say it iykwim.
I cry almost every day, i start to feel horrid about myself, i feel like a failure as a parent, just little things start to pile up, and they build up so much, im affraid im going to burst.
I feel nausea from stress, guilt of not driving, of not keeping a perfect tidy house, of always having sad face book status, of not being a good friend, of being a crappy wife, i just want to be happy and enjoy this pregnancy!
I have a dr appointment at the hospital this thursday, so will request to see the social worker again, and hope to get this resolved, but in the meantime, not getting rid of the stress isnt going to help me get rid of my depression.
I feel numb somedays, and trying to talk to hubby, sometimes feels like it turns back on me and its my fault, i know he doesnt blame me, but not driving, it is stressful for him.
Oh you poor thing Anila. Sounds like you put a lot of pressure on yourself. You should see the state if my house, it would surely make you feel better, and man, I am a total hormonal cranky cow when utd, my poor hubby. And as for being a good mum, I try my best but at the moment my temper is short and I often lose it, much to my shame. I guess what I'm saying is, I think it's ok to give yourself a bit if slack, we're human, none of us perfect. Especially when pregnant!
Definitely a good idea to see the social worker, hopefully they'll be able to help before it gets out of control. parenting and pregnancy is hard enough without adding depression into the mix.
depression during pregnancy or even afterwards is called perinatal depression and in reality a lot of women do get it but it is undiagnosed a lot. I had it in my first pregnancy and it led to very bad PND as it was untreated. However my second pregnancy the perinatal depression was worse and my midwife picked up on it.
The hopital I was at had a mental health team that worked in the maternity unit and they looked after me. It is safe to take meds if you need during pregnancy and they have a lot of very helpful suggestions for coping with it. It doesn't matter where the depression is coming from, home, family, DH, friends, work or baby, but it is a sign that you need a little bit more help and support at this time.
I totally understand how you feel and if you need someone to chat to, just pm me xxx
I tried to talk to my mum last night, but just couldnt find the right time, and i dont really want to burdern her, my aunt is bipola and tried to take her life just before xmas, my mum was the one to help her, so i think mum has delt with enough lately.
So this morning i just quielty said to hubby that on thursday when i see the dr at the hospital im going to ask to see the social worker cause i think im getting depressed, well his responce was not one that i expected, he started yelling at me, saying i knew this would happen, i knew it, u pushed and pushed for another baby, and i knew u would get like this etc etc, i said i wasnt depressed because of the baby, it was due to stress, and he then did what i expected and turned it around and went on about how stressed he is atm. As i recall we both choose to have this baby, we both made this baby, and there was no way to predict if i would get depressed, i wasnt depressed with my last baby.
He later said he didnt mean to sound uncaring etc, i tried to explain that it wasnt just getting kids to dance and soccer, and the kids trashing the house, its also other things like, my mum wont be here for the birth of this baby, she was there for the other 5, i said to hubby no offence to u but u suck as a support person, mum is better!
So as usual ive had tears today, my youngest drew on the wall in crayon, and ate my oldest school lunch, so she was yelling, and i felt my stress levels rise as well.
I am worried myself as my partner who've I've only known since April 2010, is taking his stresses out on me. We can't financially get it together, but that is not what is stressful. It's not communicating about our finances and having different ideas.
Also his old cars are his priority, to the point he has been mentioning we need "car accommodation" if we move in together; and then this fortnight, the transmission has gone in the automatic car, and the other car's rego has expired. I just find it frustrating because he is financially responsible to a degree, but can't quite get it together. Then when this has happened he completely loses the plot.
For myself I am lucky because I don't live with him, so I do find it easier to get my thoughts together and in a positive frame of mind and keep planning for this baby who's coming in a few months. I think if we were living together I would be seeing a counsellor, but I might think about asking about one anyway at my next appointment in a couple of weeks.
I think talking to your social worker would be a good idea. I also second what has been said above, my house is a bomb site too and it also brings me down. But at the end of the day, pffft, a house is for living in. Anyway I know it digs much deeper than that for you, but dont feel like you have to be the 'perfect mother/housewife'
i think that i had antenatal depression when i was pregnant. i was sent home from work twice for just crying uncontrollably which in turn sent my blood pressure sky high! my boss was so worried about me she wanted me to head over to the birthing unit to get checked first but i said i would go home and call my ob and have a chat with him. DH would often come home from work and find me crying too and was so worried about me getting postnatal depression. my ob knew that i was getting upset quite alot but never really mentioned anything else. i think he felt it was more due to every appointment that i had with him he would find something else wrong with me and just thought that with all the complications i was having who wouldnt get stressed and cry!
i definately agree with talking to your midwife about seeing a social worker. i really hope things improve for you soon xxx
just recognising the signs is a great step your taking.
maybe hubby needs to see the social worker as well, so he cant talk about his stressors and how eh is feeling so you can both eb united in this positive front..
Im always here for you to hun dont forget..
It is a tough situation to eb in, but try and look at where it will get you, hubby has a stable job again, so you are moving forward financially again and getting on top of it.
your working towards getting your licence, your not ignorant towards the fact you need it. your doing something, it si a slow process getting your licence. give your self a break hun.
and stop
take a breath and look at what YOU ARE doing not what your NOT doing..
so my chat with the well being clinic and the social worker didnt go to plan, i did see them and i was an emotional wreck and crying hysterically, but that was because my hospital is now refusing my care.
they want to send me to logan, and no she wasnt much help, it got to the point i was crying so hysterically i started hyperventilating and couldnt breath wasnt a good day for me, and i did the ugly cry
Oh no. The ugly cry is never pretty. Have you thought about going to you gp and just chatting to them about how you're feeling. They might know a great psychologist.... Even just talking to gp might help. X
Depression in pregnancy
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I think talking to your social worker would be a good idea. I also second what has been said above, my house is a bomb site too and it also brings me down. But at the end of the day, pffft, a house is for living in. Anyway I know it digs much deeper than that for you, but dont feel like you have to be the 'perfect mother/housewife'
wasnt a good day for me, and i did the ugly cry
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