I tried to talk to my mum last night, but just couldnt find the right time, and i dont really want to burdern her, my aunt is bipola and tried to take her life just before xmas, my mum was the one to help her, so i think mum has delt with enough lately.

So this morning i just quielty said to hubby that on thursday when i see the dr at the hospital im going to ask to see the social worker cause i think im getting depressed, well his responce was not one that i expected, he started yelling at me, saying i knew this would happen, i knew it, u pushed and pushed for another baby, and i knew u would get like this etc etc, i said i wasnt depressed because of the baby, it was due to stress, and he then did what i expected and turned it around and went on about how stressed he is atm. As i recall we both choose to have this baby, we both made this baby, and there was no way to predict if i would get depressed, i wasnt depressed with my last baby.

He later said he didnt mean to sound uncaring etc, i tried to explain that it wasnt just getting kids to dance and soccer, and the kids trashing the house, its also other things like, my mum wont be here for the birth of this baby, she was there for the other 5, i said to hubby no offence to u but u suck as a support person, mum is better!

So as usual ive had tears today, my youngest drew on the wall in crayon, and ate my oldest school lunch, so she was yelling, and i felt my stress levels rise as well.