Cancer survivers

[LisaBear]

soul, i was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins lymphoma just over 2 years ago - 3 months after i was married!!!! cancer is a horrid thing to be diagnosed with and i hated almost every step of my life for almost a year!!!

i had 6 months of chemo which started as soon as i was diagnosed - and i had almost 4 months of tests (extremely painful procedures) and an operation to find out what my "lump" was!!

i got through it my staying positive and cheeful - well on the outside - i had the whole brave face thing too!!

the night my hair started falling out i completely lost the plot and wanted to give up = and had more dayd like that!!
i ahd to go on medication to put me inot early menopause so that i still could have a chance of havign children. i also developed a condition called neutropenia in which i had to haev a needle adminsited by my DH every second week (after chemo) which made every bone in my body hurt so bad that i woud cry if i was cuddled - so i pulled back into myself - buti realised that i would never get thru it if i didnt have a positive attitude and stayed as happy as i could!!

yes there are very hard days that i felt liek crawling into a corner and cry - so i did - then i was better and could regain my strength and continue fighting!!

to this day i am abotu 26 months clear - and wil have a scan after i have my little miracle.
i continue to need scans every 3 months - and will have scans for as long as i live to make sure it has gone and stays that way!!

i send you all the strengt that you need - but its ok to haev mini melt downs - they enable you to stay grounded and regroup to continue the fight!!!

please contact me if you need i am more than happy to help if you need - even if its a shoulder to sook on!!!


i always have it in the back of my mind i catch myself feeling my neck where my lump was removed.. thats human nature - it also lets me know what i have to be thankful for!

you sound like a very strong person - keep your strength!!
youll get thru it!!

[soul]

Lisabear, will do, will do! I really seem to be making myself look quite selfish on here with speaking about it as you can see lol, I get all nervous before we even know the verdict. I do know though that they have to cut alot of area just to get to it, thats a fact! so will pm you and pick your brains on it.

By the way, whoo hoo for a beautiful baby about to enter the world!!!

[nic]

Soul, I don't think you are looking selfish at all! You are in a place right now that is downright scary and terrifying and you are allowed to be scared and think out loud, it's only to human to wonder about the "what if's".

I know I was lucky with my breast lump when it was removed, but I was terrified all the same. I put my op off for almost 18 months, I just didn't want to know anything, I was absolutely $hit scared of leaving my beautiful 18 month old girl.
I didn't tell DH how I was feeling, I was trying not to be too melodramatic and all that.

No matter how bad things are, I think there will always genuinely be people who are 'worse off' than us. You're allowed to feel selfish and feel like 'poor me', because without those low moments, I believe you can't have and truly appreciate the highs.

Thinking of you soul..hugest hugs..

Nic

[soul]

Thats exactly how it feels nic!

Wow the members of BB sure do have words of wisdom and love for others!

[nic]

Only giving back what you have given yourself so many time soul

Nic

[christy]

Having a lump is very scary. I have had breast lumps & the first one was the scariest. I had an u/s and a needle biopsy to see and luckily it wasn't cancer. But the time between finding the lump & the final diagnosis was so hard.

I hope that you can have a good day tomorrow with your DD & not worry too much. Stay positive.

[sushee]

Chloe, just wanted to add that my MIL is one of the strongest women I know. The only thing I've ever heard her complain about is that her hair hasn't grown back as thick as before the radiotherapy. Lol! I know how distressed DH was to find out that his mother was ill, and I know it was on her mind as she got her will in order, but to look at her you'd never know it. She was strong for her son at a time when it probably should have been the other way around. I wish she'd talked about how she was feeling more, but she was just incredibly selfless - Charlie was only a few months old and she wanted to celebrate life, not mourn it. Thinking about her at that time makes me puddle up all the time.

Sorry soul it's a little OT but I had to share.

[LisaBear]

PM away!!!
i went into my appt the week after surgery so scared that i couldnt sit still - i was shakign and all gittery, i was thinking the worst from the very beginning!!! everybody around me kept saying dont worry dont worry - but how can you not? with cancer so prevalent in our society how can you not think it!!

all you need to focus on it the light in your heart and yes, accpet that you may have beent hrown a curve ball, but its for a reason!!

surgery is so scary but you know what - you need it to figure out whats going on.

and thanks!! im scared about becoming a mum, but my dh and i havebeen thru cancer, we can do this parenting thing

[soul]

christy, exactly!!!!!!!!!!!! SO TRUE!!

It's ok sushee you can go of topic! Thanks for pointing out what a strong mil you have!

My doc told me to talk about it as its unhealthy to let it eat at me. Shoudn't bottle up all my emotions I guess, if I am worried then I am worried and have plenty of support so why not use it. I am not going to be a martye just so I don't upset my family. This is a journey we are all taking so they need to hear me talk about it. Thanks girls who have said talk about it, you right its a lot healthier to get my feelings out than hold it all in just to save my hubbies feelings. Its me goin through this scare more so than him. So we will talk tonight him and I!

I sat here feeling so bad for sharing and there were some words that made me think I am being weak talking about it, but after a long hard think about it, I should not feel guilt for wanting to let my family in, they need to see I am only human and do suffer and have emotions too. I don't ask of them for anything, just to listen. I don't think I am asking for to much.

[Mrs P]

Hey Soul - my aunty had ovarian cancer and she has been clear for a couple of years now.

Something I wanted to mention - I have weekly acupuncture for fertility stuff, but the guy I see also specialises in cancer-related treatment. We were discussing this one day as a work colleague's sister had just been diagnosed with breast cancer and I wanted to know if he did cancer-related stuff.

He told me that he did, and in the case of having cancers removed, having acupuncture and chinese herbs prior to as well as after the op can be beneficial, as well as during stuff like radiotherapy etc.

Sending you big hugs and happy thoughts xo

[sushee]

Oh soul,

I hope I didn't make you feel like you were weak. Everyone copes with these things in different ways, and you have to embrace what feels right for you.