Hi anyone who is reading,

I just had to get my thoughts down. I’ve recently had a flare with my RA and have made the decision to start taking medication. Which means I must stop breastfeeding my beautiful 7 month old boy. I have now been weaning him for a week and every day rips my heart out. I am down to one feed in the middle of the night but will have to stop that on Wednesday when I take my first dose of methotrexate. I have been telling anyone who will listen how much I don’t want to wean. But it’s not making it any easier. I’m sitting here writing this with tears streaming down my face. I never thought it would be this hard.

The only consolation is that maybe in a few weeks I will have reduced pain and be able to actually get down on the floor to play with my boy and my 3 year old girl. But the urge to feed him will still be there.

I can’t believe this is happening to me. It never occurred to me when I was pregnant that I would feed my baby any other way. Has anyone else gone through this?