Oh Amy :hugs: I could have written your post myself. I have never been investigated for endo and didn't even know they were related but my husband and I both understand your heartache.
I have had both conditions for years and years. Diagnosed after multiple bouts of UTIs.
I have tried the kenacombe, the lignocaine (designed for use in penile surgery so safe) - but that's only useful if it is applied some thirty minutes prior and that kind of takes all the spontanaeity away IYKWIM?, low dose tricyclic anti-depressants, low citric acid diets, etc etc.
Nothing has really worked like Hoobley said except really trying to relax, but the brain is a very powerful being and can often override all conscious effort.
Having my babies has been an absolute nightmare. Finding a doctor that actually undertands is even worse.
Recently with being hospitalised I found one that does. He wants to see me to sort out something to help after this baby is born, so I'll be watching this carefully.
Sadly the fact that I'm not allowed to DTD until this baby is born is actually a relief for me....at least there's no anxiety that goes with it.
Not much help but you have my empathy and understanding.