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Thread: An angel named Alex

  1. #55
    meg Guest

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    it sounds like it has been really good to get things out into the open, to let it all out and be completely honest. Don't people say that the first year of marriage is always the hardest and if you can survive that, you should be right. It sounds like you and DH have different coping strategies for stressful events. My DH and I are the same, but we do talk about it so it works OK, even if I don't like it, I do understand that he can't be like me. Hope you are enjoying the new calm you have in the house. Hope that awful burny wee has left you too, it's not much fun.

    I am going to go and jump into bed. We lashed out and bought a new one and it is soooooo good! Chat soon.


  2. #56
    Melinda Guest

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    I agree with Meg - it sounds like you have made some real progress by getting things out in the open. It can be really hard to admit things as you say, but you've done well to discuss the issues openly and honestly!

    Absolutely every marriage has it's ups and downs, and even though you hit a rough patch at 5 months, I'm sure it will make you both stronger and wiser people for it. I'm sure that if you can get through this together, you will be able to face whatever life throws your way. It can be hard to see that at the time though!

    I hope the UTI has cleared up too - ouchies!! I know that in the past until I could get to the Doctor I put a teaspoon of bicarb of soda in a glass of water and drank that - it really relieved the burniness and I wasn't going to the loo as much! It's only a temporary fix to help neutralise what's in your bladder, but it might be worth remembering for next time (hopefully there won't be one though LOL).

    Enjoy your new bed Meg - sounds like bliss!!

  3. #57

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    Hi guys, just popping my head in here.. You can buy something called Ural in a supermarket. I think it comes in a green box.. Anyway it nuetralises the acidity of your urine and is useful for this sort of thing. It's in sachets that you dissolve in water, and doesn't taste too bad to drink. Hope that helps

  4. #58
    kirsty Guest

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    Hi guys, thanx for the advice about the UTI, I was lucky as I was going to see my Dr the next day anyway so I got some medication & it is now all gone- YAY!!!
    Life has been much better since we cleared the air & I had to laugh at him saying "every marriage has its problems", I say laugh because we may only be 5mths into our marriage but we've been together for almost 10years! But we have just gotten home from an overnight stay at my Mum's in Port Fairy. So has been lovely just to go out to tea with my Mum & Stepdad & brother & his wife & have another 'Mum' to help take care of James so that I can enjoy some 'me' time.

    Meg - I know how lovely a new bed can be, James has just gone into his 'big boy' bed (it's a king single so he is like a pimple on an elephants behind in it) & it is just so nice to curl up in his bed with a new mattress. We bought a new timber bed frame for ourselves a while ago but we need to replace the mattress & that will be done in the next month or so, once I've settled back in at work. Enjoy yourself in the new bed!

    Tootie - hope all is well with you, once again thanx for some wonderful words. Hope tiger is going well & that life is good.

    Zola - hope TTC is going okay for you guys, we have decided to wait another couple of cycles before we try again but sending lots of good thoughts your way & [-o< it doesn't take too long for a BFP to come your way.

  5. #59

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    Glad to hear things are looking up, Kirsty

    Look forward to chatting in the TTC forum in a few months time The way we're going I'll still be there

  6. #60

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    Kirsty,

    After you responded to my post i came and read your story. I am so sorry that you had to lose Alex in such a painful way. My heart goes out to you.

    In one post i noticed that you said that you have trouble being you and being strong enough to get through this. When i read this i just have to say that i feel exactly the same. I have tried to explain this to my mum (who had 9 miscarriages) that i dont feel like me anymore. She doesnt seem to understand but all i know is that my life is changed forever. So i totally get what you were saying there.

    You wrote that you felt your husband seemed to be dealing with it so easily. I must admit that sometimes i look at my dh and i hear him talking to his friends on the phone and i think how can you sound so normal why dont you sound devestated like i am. The truth is that i know he is devestated but my husband is the eternal optimist (no matter what it is it will work out for the best) and he doesnt like to be sad. He has told me that he thinks about Katelyn everyday but he doesnt like to think about it too much as it upsets him so much. He doesnt want to cry like i do. But that doesnt mean that he loved her or misses her anyless than i do. So he deals with it in his way. We talk about Katelyn and our future everynight. Poor guy i am probably doing his head in. But that is what i need to do.

    From what you have said it sounds like your hubby is similar to mine in the way they are dealing with it. Maybe its just a guy thing??? Its not that it doesnt affect them or they dont care. They do care very much (that is why they want to get preg again to have the joy of another baby).

    i hope that you are having a good day today.

    Kab

  7. #61

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    Kirsty,

    Just a quick post to let you know that you are in my thoughts on this difficult day. I'm sending you heaps of big :hugs:. I am thinking of and remembering your little Angel Alex with you today. I hope you are doing ok. Just yell out if you need a chat...

    Love

  8. #62

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    Dear Kirsty,

    I had the day off yesterday but came on this morning and saw what a terrible day it must have been for you yesterday.

    I wish i could fly over and give you a big hug and we could cry about Alex together.

    He was and still is a very special little boy who will not be forgotten.

    Just know that you are in my thoughts and i am sending you big hugs and having tears for little Alex.

    Love Lots Sarah

  9. #63
    kirsty Guest

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    Dear Becc & Sarah,
    Thanx so much for your kind thoughts & wishes for yesterday. Am glad in one way that it is passed, I now kinda feel like I can really move on & concentrate on TTC & a new baby. Not that it lessens Alex any more or the fact that he will always be in my thoughts, just that I can move forward. I think DH will be pleased about that fact too. I guess I have been really apprehensive about it all & handled it much better than I was expecting too.
    Must go have a million things to do. Just wanted to say how much I appreciate the things you girls have said & how much they mean to me.

  10. #64

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    Hi Kirsty,

    Im so glad that you are feeling more positive today.

    I have been told by several people that the lead up to the day is actually worse than the day itself but i guess that remains to be seen for me.

    In a few weeks Katelyn's due date is coming up and i have thought about this alot. It is such a hard day to live through and i get tears just thinking about it.

    One of my friends is also having a baby anyday now and that is playing on my mind also.

    To be honest i love the fact that i am pregnant again and now i wish that i could have Katelyn and this baby (like they were twins or something).

    I am planning to do something nice with Rowan on her special day and just spend the whole day being with her IYKWIM.

    Sorry, really didnt mean to make that all about me, guess i was just trying to say that i think that you handled a very difficult day really well and i hope that i can get through it ok too.

    Talk to you soon.

    Love Sarah

  11. #65

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    Hi Kirsty & Sarah

    Kirsty, I'm glad that you got through Wednesday ok. It sounds like you got a little bit of closure. I was the same. Like you said, it doesn't lessen our angels in the slightest but there is a sense of relief in getting past that day.

    Sarah, I meant to say to you today that I was one of those people who found that the lead up to the EDD was worse than the actual day. I guess it was because to me, no day could ever be worse than the actual day that we lost our precious baby IYKWIM? Her EDD was still significant & important but when all was said & done, the date she was born became the important day for us. I will be thinking of you as Katelyn's EDD draws nearer & will be here whenever you need a chat.

    I just wanted to say to you girls also that both your angels will live on in my memory as well as your own. Any time I hear the name Alex or Katelyn, (and I have heard both names on a number of occasions lately) I think of your precious angels.

    Thinking of you both and sending you :hugs:

  12. #66
    kirsty Guest

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    Once again thanx so much to you two. I too have friends (well they are DH's friends more than mine) who are due to have a baby any day now & part of me was hoping like hell that she didn't have it on Wednesday.
    I was stressing big time about Alex's EDD, but I was more focused on the 23rd & had forgotten that our Dr had planned to deliver him by c-section. So in one way it was good because by the time I remembered it was here & I didn't have too much time to dwell on it all.

    Sarah I'll be thinking of you for Katelyn's EDD as well. Take care of yourself & enjoy the day in whatever capacity you feel able.

    Once again thanx & take care of yourselves.

  13. #67

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    Dear Kirsty and Bec,

    Thanks guys.

    Kirsty, One of my friends is about to have her baby any day now aswell, well i am friends with the father actually and he came in the other day and whilst he didnt talk to me about their new baby (he tries to understand how i feel and asks me about it) i heard him talking to the girls out the front because he didnt realise that i could hear. Its really hard, I am also struggling with that now because i have another 3 babies due within about a month of our new baby!

    Well thanks again guys, Our babies will never be forgotten in our little group and i think of you and Alex and Georgia often.

    Love Sarah

  14. #68
    kirsty Guest

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    To my precious angel boy, Alex

    Today is the first anniversary of your becoming our little angel & that alone carries many memories. Your Dad & I found ourselves unable to sleep until after 1:25am this morning, both of us seemed reluctant to sleep until we had past the time of your early entrance into this world, & even after it had passed I found sleep an uneasy companion. You bought us such happiness from the time we discovered you were to be a part of our family (you picked such a wonderful time to announce your presence to us ~ the eve of our marriage) & continued to do so in our every day. We dreamed of what sort of little person you would be, how you would interact with your big brother & what your life would hold for you, we are so very sorry that we never had the chance to fill your life with the same happiness that you bestowed upon us. You were ours such a short time & my only regret is that for whatever reason my body was unable to support & provide you with the nourishment you needed to be able to survive in our world. You are with me every day in my heart & my thoughts & I still miss you as much today as I did 12mths ago when they took you from my arms for the last time ~ that was the time when I discovered a heart could truly break. Slowly I have pieced it back together, but a part of it remains missing to this day ~ the part that is held by you. I treasure each & every day of the 18w & 5ds that my womb was your home & am truly sorry that it could not remain so. Every day I am reminded of what could have been when I look at your big brother playing, & my heart aches that he will never know the little brother that could have been. I am sure you would have been best of friends & a willing learner for the mischief that he would have taught you.

    Know that we love you & miss you every day & that for ever & always you are in my heart & my thoughts.

    Keep well my precious little man until we meet again.

    Love always your Mummy, Daddy & big brother, James.
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  15. #69

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    Dear Kirsty
    big big hugs to you and your family. We will grieve the tremendous loss of these precious littles lives till we die - they say it gets easier and I hope they are right.
    They are beautiful words you have written that come from the heart.Little ~Alex~ in heaven is looking down in Love so proud of his special mum who brings comfort to others and friendship in their time of need.

  16. #70

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    Oh Kristy,

    Angel my heart go out to you and DH.
    I an't even begin to imagine what that would of been like for you, Im at a loss for words darlin' Im just so sorry.xxx We're all here for you.

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