I completely understand your feelings about baby showers but I can see her side as well. I have a friend who recently had her third miscarriage, twins this time so 4 babies lost. She is one of my oldest friends and I couldn't imagine not inviting her, however I rang her before the invites were coming out to let her know that sister would be sending her one but I didn't want her to feel any pressure.

I felt like It would be rude of me and cruel to not invite her at all, but I also thought it would be cruel to send it without any contact before hand.

You are completely justified in feeling however you feel about your boys. You shouldn't feel you have to justify however you are feeling. I hope your pain eases.

xxx