My first Christmas after loosing Harry was hell. DH and I spent the entire day crying, didn't see or speak to anyone (our request) and had vegemite on toast for lunch. We didn't put up a tree or exchange presents.

It may seem horrible to others but I couldn't wait for it all to be over. We locked ourselves anyway, pumped up the aircon and watched movies in bed. We just cried and cried.

You know what, it is what we needed to do and was the best for us. Don't feel pressured to get into Christmas if you don't want to. Do something to commemorate your special little lady. The only gift we got was a book for Harry which we read to him on the day. We burned a candle all day in his memory. We needed to grieve, not celebrate. It actually was quite healing just to wallow in our pain.

I'm happy to say the following Christmas was very different and a day will come when you want to celebrate again.

My advice, do what is best for you. Don't feel obliged to go to family/friend events if you don't want to. They will understand and if they don't well they can just get over it.

HTH
Take care hun.