Thanks so much for the poem, it's one of the nicest ones I've seen so far. The words are so beautiful and true.
Just wanted to tell you that I had a look at Noah's little treasures on the link you've sent, and I just love what you've got for him. I just love his 'It's a Boy' baloon, I didn't think to get one for Joshua, I think I was just so in shock. Later I started getting little things like angels and candles etc, and recently I bought a silver birth certificate holder for him so when it arrives, I'll put it in there. I didn't have a 'live take home baby' but I want to have many little momentos of his birth as he is still my little son, just an angel in heaven.
Hi Nae, Beata & Lisa,
Thankyou all for sharing your heart warming stories.
My DH & I built a memorial garden after we lost our Son Brendan & put lots of Roses in it,a lovely garden seat to sit on made of sandstone,Japanese sandstone lantern,which you can put a large candle in it,looks beatiful.Has a Gazebo for when it rains,with white pebbles through out,and at the very entrance we put a white arch with climbing flowers,with two white iceburg Roses to represent "Purity",all the family uses Brendan`s Garden for time out and we sit & have tea or coffee when the weather is nice,but i sit there & talk to my son,the neighbours sometimes here me in there,but they know what happened & always ask how are all the family. Some people do care,but it`s a shame when your family keeps telling you to move on,and to look after your other children. We do look after the others but,Brendan was just so dam special,as he was born with a genectic disorder called Wiskott- Aldrich- Syndrome,and Doctor`s kept telling us he wouldn`t see his 2nd Birthday.We know he was lucky to make it to eight,but he suffered so much pain,he had over 75 operations in his short life,so how can we just foreget,ay!!!! Sorry to rant,I think Chrissy is just starting to hit a nerve now.
Hope you lovely ladies are all ok. love to you all. It`s a shame we all didn`t live closer to each other,we could have had a special catch up,lol. or a cry, ykwim! Take Care.
oh,one more thing.I got a lovely photo put onto a large ceramic plate which is on a stand on the mantle piece in our lounge room for everyone to see,whether they like it or not. Also I?m ordering a large size Canvass of Brendan to hang up ,well i wonder what my family will think of that one!! Cheers to all. Susan.xxx.
Hey Susan, good on you hun!! I am so proud of you for doing what you want to do and not worrying about what others think. Who cares about how they feel ???!!!! Brendan was your beautiful and very precious son, and you should vever feel embarrassed or ashamed in doing something like putting up a big picture of him on YOUR wall !!!! It makes me so angry that others make us feel like this. We just shouldn't even feel like this to begin with, we've already been through enough.
Look, Christmas will be hard for us all, but you just celebrate it in your own way and I know your precious boy will be celebrating with you also.
wow that poem is really beautiful, would you mind if I post it on my facebook page of course I will leave your name on it, its your work afterall but I think it really hits home everything I wish I could say to a lot of people.
Let me know if it is ok or not I am happy either way
Susan :hugs: isn't it funny how a bunch of strangers can understand how special Brendan is and yet your family cannot. It's sad really. Our garden for Niki has about 250 plants in it talk about over compensating, but the roses we have there are two Heaven Scent as you walk into her garden, then there is one Mothers Love, one Paradise and the one that is behind her plaque is Peace. Your garden sounds like a wonderful peaceful place for reflection .
Beata - You will find there will be a lot of well meaning people tell you that its time to "move on and get over it" I always say to them that I will never get over it but I plan to move around it and I always ask them " think about it, if you lost one of your kids (or in the people who don't have kids their partner or dog/cat basically anything they treasure more than life) how would you feel if someone told you to move on?"
I do try to do it diplomatically and try a little humour but I usually get my point across.
I had another one of those conversations with mum yesterday and of coure she told me again to move forward and not to look back ( oh how easy it is for her to say ) so you'd be proud of me when I told her she doesn't get me and asked her if she's ever lost a baby so then she would understand what I'm going through, and then she basically backed down. I've just resigned myself to the fact that no matter how hard she tries to understand my loss, she never will.
It's just frasturating as we are so similar in personalities and character, and she doesn't understand. I know she means well and doesn't want me to fall into some deep dark hole, but I can't believe she denies me my grieving.
I think I'm just going to have to accept that she doesn't understand my grief, and leave it at that. It is a shame though...I have other friends who have not lost any children or had any miscarriages, and they understand me. Go figure ! And they're not my blood relatives !!!!!
Anyway, sorry for blabbing on too much. How are you coping with xmas getting nearer ?
Beata - Yes and No, I just try to deal with one day at a time and accept some will be more trying than others.
Sometimes its just easier to just nod then to get "into it" with some people and just leave it. I think its sad that she doesn't acknowledge her grandson but that could very well be a coping mechanism for her. Unfortunately she will never understand - she cannot possibly therefore maybe your the one who just needs to accept she will never change nor can she understand IYKWIM My MIL lost a baby at 23 weeks and bascially back then they were told to get over it and move on and the babies were just thrown away. She has said to be a couple of times to just "move on" and one day I asked her how she did and despite what she said verbally her eyes told me she never really has.
Some people just don't get it either and its a waste of your time and energy trying to get them too so mostly I just let it go
Ladies,How are we all today,just having some time out before going out later.
Lisa, I had some time to sit and read the Poem properly today,it`s just beautiful,has lot`s of meaning.
Nae Nae & beata,
I have lots of Angel books,and it says if you speak softly to your loved ones they will come to you in your dreams when you are most peacful and at ease with the world.A little hard sometimes considering I feel down fairly often,but I did have a special dream,when Brendan came to me about a year later and it was a beautiful garden with a water fall,and he was dresses in a long white "night gown"so it apeared to me,but he was so happy and healthy,and had a beautiful glow about him. He told me Mummy please stop crying I?m with you everyday.Then i saw a well known Phychic lady,and i didn`t mention what had happen to me with the dream but she told me about it.You could have knocked me over with a feather. I thought i would share this with you all,some people look at me funny when i tell them i see my Son in my dreams,but i know I?m not NUTS,LOL. Have a great afternoon girls.
Hope you ladies are doing ok. Love & Peace to you all. Susan.xxx.
Hi Lisa
Reply With Quote
or a cry, ykwim! Take Care.
Cheers to all. Susan.xxx.
.
) so you'd be proud of me when I told her she doesn't get me and asked her if she's ever lost a baby so then she would understand what I'm going through, and then she basically backed down. I've just resigned myself to the fact that no matter how hard she tries to understand my loss, she never will.
Ladies,How are we all today,just having some time out before going out later.
Bookmarks