I had another one of those conversations with mum yesterday and of coure she told me again to move forward and not to look back ( oh how easy it is for her to say ) so you'd be proud of me when I told her she doesn't get me and asked her if she's ever lost a baby so then she would understand what I'm going through, and then she basically backed down. I've just resigned myself to the fact that no matter how hard she tries to understand my loss, she never will.
It's just frasturating as we are so similar in personalities and character, and she doesn't understand. I know she means well and doesn't want me to fall into some deep dark hole, but I can't believe she denies me my grieving.
I think I'm just going to have to accept that she doesn't understand my grief, and leave it at that. It is a shame though...I have other friends who have not lost any children or had any miscarriages, and they understand me. Go figure ! And they're not my blood relatives !!!!!
Anyway, sorry for blabbing on too much. How are you coping with xmas getting nearer ?
Beata - Yes and No, I just try to deal with one day at a time and accept some will be more trying than others.
Sometimes its just easier to just nod then to get "into it" with some people and just leave it. I think its sad that she doesn't acknowledge her grandson but that could very well be a coping mechanism for her. Unfortunately she will never understand - she cannot possibly therefore maybe your the one who just needs to accept she will never change nor can she understand IYKWIM My MIL lost a baby at 23 weeks and bascially back then they were told to get over it and move on and the babies were just thrown away. She has said to be a couple of times to just "move on" and one day I asked her how she did and despite what she said verbally her eyes told me she never really has.
Some people just don't get it either and its a waste of your time and energy trying to get them too so mostly I just let it go
Ladies,How are we all today,just having some time out before going out later.
Lisa, I had some time to sit and read the Poem properly today,it`s just beautiful,has lot`s of meaning.
Nae Nae & beata,
I have lots of Angel books,and it says if you speak softly to your loved ones they will come to you in your dreams when you are most peacful and at ease with the world.A little hard sometimes considering I feel down fairly often,but I did have a special dream,when Brendan came to me about a year later and it was a beautiful garden with a water fall,and he was dresses in a long white "night gown"so it apeared to me,but he was so happy and healthy,and had a beautiful glow about him. He told me Mummy please stop crying I?m with you everyday.Then i saw a well known Phychic lady,and i didn`t mention what had happen to me with the dream but she told me about it.You could have knocked me over with a feather. I thought i would share this with you all,some people look at me funny when i tell them i see my Son in my dreams,but i know I?m not NUTS,LOL. Have a great afternoon girls.
Hope you ladies are doing ok. Love & Peace to you all. Susan.xxx.
Susan - Your garden for Brendan sounds so beautiful When DH & I buy our own home we're planning to put a garden in for Noah. We have all the plans for it, we've just gotta buy a house first! We have a potted gardenia for him, and the day that we got our "Noah/Angel" tattoos done was the first day it bloomed. I dreamed about Noah a lot when I was pregnant with Harrison... I still have a lot of times that I dream about him... I am always hugging him in my dreams and he is always smiling at me.
Naenae - Of course you can use the poem hun... it's not mine, but I found it to be very helpful for me... it has a way of just saying the things I was unable to or just couldn't say myself. Feel free to pass it on... I passed it on to a friend on facebook who found it really useful & helpful also.
Beata - I am sorry your Mum doesn't understand. I'm sure she will get there in time. My Mum miscarried twins when I was younger... and although it was an early pregnancy, she still had an idea of what I was going through. It was difficult for a lot of my extended family to understand as I am the first to suffer a later loss... they didn't understand how I was feeling... and I don't think anyone could. It really is different for each of us isn't it. I am thankful that my family are understanding... I talk about Noah all the time... and most of the time I am asked questions about him. I knew my son... no one else did... I find it such an honour when people ask about him.
Thank you for your lovely comments on my photos... I have a few more to add on there (his new bauble, mine & DH's tattoos), but my camera is playing up a bit. I can add the tattoo ones, but the bauble one might take some time as their still on the camera.
Nae, thanks hun, I think I am gonna have to let go trying to make her understand. It takes too much out of me and that's the last thing I need right now. I know what you mean about xmas, one day is OK and the next not so OK. When I feel like this, I have little talks with Joshua and it makes me feel better
Susan, I just got the biggest goose bumps when I read your message. I think your dream of Brendan a year or so after he passed, is so beautiful and angelic and peaceful. I hope my little one cames into my dreams as I just want to see him so much and give him the biggest cuddle I can give him. I also have an angel book, so I'm looking forward to reading it soon.
Lisa, I'm so glad that you can talk about Noah to your family and friends and they ask you questions. It's so good to have support and caring like this, isn't it ? Like I said before, I don't talk to mum about Josh much at all as she infuriates me and my dad gets too upset whan I bring him up in conversation. He took it really hard, I've never seen him cry before.
My friends fortunatelly have no probs talking about Joshua and I feel so comfortable talking about him it's great.
) so you'd be proud of me when I told her she doesn't get me and asked her if she's ever lost a baby so then she would understand what I'm going through, and then she basically backed down. I've just resigned myself to the fact that no matter how hard she tries to understand my loss, she never will.
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My MIL lost a baby at 23 weeks and bascially back then they were told to get over it and move on and the babies were just thrown away. She has said to be a couple of times to just "move on" and one day I asked her how she did and despite what she said verbally her eyes told me she never really has.
Ladies,How are we all today,just having some time out before going out later.
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