go easy on yourself hun, there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to grieve, just do what you feel/think. If you want to just sit and stare at the ceiling (I know that's probably a bit hard with your DS!) then that's fine, or a nice long walk can be refreshing. Have you done anything to commemorate Jellybean? Maybe you could make something crafty to remember he/she by (or a cross stitch of something that will help you remember), release some balloons, by a little ornament (Willow Tree have some beautiful ones). Don't worry about what anyone else says/thinks, you have to do what you have to do to help yourself grieve. Your DH is probably hurting just as much as you are, only men can be very good at stamping down their feelings...maybe see if you can get someone to watch DS for a while and you and DH can go out for a walk and have a bit of a D&M?

Thinking of you, I have been fortunate enough not to go through what you have, but I'm here if you ever want to talk