First Loss

[nlegrady]

Hi everyone. I don't know why I am posting in here... I think I really just need to get it out of my system. I have 3 children, and recently my husband and I started trying for a 4th. We were thrilled when I discovered I was pregnant, and I even took 5 tests to be sure. When I went to confirm the pregnancy though, the doctor said my HCG levels were extremely low. He said it was not cause for alarm, as it could just be very early in the pregnancy. I was to go back this week for another blood test to see if the levels had risen. Unfortunately, Saturday morning I started bleeding. I knew it was over... and I was devastated. I cried all day. I went to the doctor who did an internal, and she said that yes, more than likely I was miscarrying at just over 5 weeks. My cervix was closed, which I thought was strange, but she said with the amount of blood loss it was pretty conclusive. Having an ultrasound this afternoon to confirm. Still bleeding, but it's easing off. Has been like a heavy period with little clots, not a lot of pain, just mild cramping.

I know it's over, but I keep looking on the Internet, looking for hope that maybe it's not over. I found out that there's a condition called Subchorionic Hemorrhage, and you bleed quite heavily from a clot, but the pregnancy is usually still viable. I know I am kidding myself, but I can't seem to help myself. I didn't think it would hurt so much. I am so lucky, I have a lovely family... but I am still so hurt. I just needed to talk about it I guess... my husband is great, but he doesn't really understand how hurt I am... my friends are avoiding the subject, probably to save me the pain of talking about it.

Thanks for listening.

Nicky

[Charlotte91]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

Sending massive 's to you.

[diannescruffy]

So very sorry for your loss .

Regards,
Dianne

[forshelby]

Everything you're feeling is normal and ok. Allow yourself to grieve however and for as long as you need to. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Blixie]

so sorry for your loss

[Yas]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Massive You need to grieve hun, let it out xxxxx

[nlegrady]

Thank you

[MamaPan]

sorry for your loss. you will get lots of support here.

[nlegrady]

I appreciate the support, I really do. I can't believe how many people suffer from losses... I guess I have been very lucky up until now. Makes you appreciate what you have just a little more doesn't it.

[Maruschke]

Yes it does. So sorry that you have gone through this .

[hj1981]

it sure does make you apprechiate what you got but it dosen't make your loss any easier

Sorry you have had to go through this

[nlegrady]

Hi again,

It's been confirmed. I am feeling a little better, but I am still so sad. I just can't seem to stop thinking about it. Everything has cleared, which is good... it means I don't have to have a D/C. I want to start trying again straight away... is that wrong? I think it's the fastest way for me to feel better.

[diannescruffy]

hun, just take day by day. It's so normal to want to be pregnant again.

Regards,
Dianne

[Tegam]

'i didnt think it would hurt this much'......totally agree, it hits you for six. Stay and talk as much as you need, people in real life hope that these things magically disappear.....

Good luck TTC, i hope you have a lovely BFP really soon!

[nlegrady]

Thanks. Yes, I think people underestimate how much it can affect you...

[~Kim~]

I don't think any of us realise how large the 'club' is until we get there. Take all the time you need chick. No matter how early, a mama has a lifetime of hopes and dreams for that little being.
I'm so sorry.

[Diamond Girl]

Im so sorry for your loss. My first loss was at 5 weeks too and it surprised me how sad I was.

Take all the time you need to grieve your little one.

[chody47]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I too was amazed how many people have to go through this when I had my miscarriage last year. Take all the time you need.