I have a girlfriend who was pregnant with her 3rd while I was pregnant with my 2nd. We bumped into each other at 'registration' at the maternity clinic at 11/12 weeks and neither had told the other yet about our pregnancies. As it turned out, I was due the 11th and she was due the 12th of Feb and we were very happy to share the experience together.

My boy was born 7 days late and healthy on the 18th and her boy was born sleeping, 11 days late on the 23rd.

I'd been so busy I hadn't called her since about the 20th and late last night I checked her facebook to see if there was any news and read the terrible status update.

I want to be there for her but is staying away for a little while the best thing to do? With a newborn, I don't go anywhere further than 2 doors up without him so I can't go around for a cuppa and a chat and I'm sure she's in no mood to come visit me. I feel awful and I know it's not my fault that I had a good outcome and she didn't but I don't know how to be there for her without constantly reminding her of her loss.

We were so excited that our boys could be little buddies for each other. As it turned out the names we picked were almost the same which only makes it worse.

Any advice please?