How do you deal with...

[briggsy's girl]

Thanks all. I wrote congrats on her Fb wall, then sent my sister a text saying "C is pregnant. Happy face, sad face" and she wrote back "Yay, boo".

I was trying to decide if I'd tell her but then I realised that'd be making it about me, when really she deserves it to be about her. So I'll stay quiet.

For now, i'd say i agree with that - but she is going to be pregnant for a long time, and then have a newborn - you need to show her the respect of telling her what has happened so that, if you DO withdraw, she can understand it. putting yourself in her shoes, imagine what it would feel like if someone just pulled away from you at what is a really exciting time - and you have no idea why.

unfortunately, i've had to live this numerous times now. some days you cope, some days you put on a brave face and pretend to cope - and some days, you just withdraw and let the hurt be felt. i have chosen to be honest with friends/family if i'm not coping with their pregnancy or newborn, for the reasons i said above. it's not their fault, and i don't want them to think i'm withdrawing because of something that they've done. a simple comment while they're pregnant along the lines of "i've had this happen, some days i won't be able to be around you while i'm nursing my own heartache, please don't take it personally" - it has worked wonders. i've never had anyone take offense at the comment, or tell me to get over it

one of my best friends on here, BW, got a BFP the same day as me. we were due a day apart. unfortunately i lost my angel, while she continued her pregnancy with her son. it was damn hard some days. DAMN HARD. but by admitting when i wasn't coping, we were able to avoid pregnant talk on those days. i could still support her, but i could go into lockdown when i wasn't coping with it kwim?

[Maruschke]

i still find it hard and don't know how to cope. What i struggle with more is that some people I was pregnant with... are now considering TTC for a second time, some are even pregnant. What hurts me is seeing other people's joy... they think ttc is fun, they think early pregnancy is fun, and for me it's a big slap in the face.