Firstly, I am terribly sorry for your loss. Whether or not your baby was planned, you obviously had hopes & dreams for the future with this baby and when he/she decided to 'fly' it was a shock & now you are grieving for your baby & what would have been. Feeling guilty is also part of the grieving process. You may also experience the 'trade off' feeling - where you would do something just to have your baby again. This is all part of the grieving process & grieving takes time & sometimes alot of time.

I have to say that for my first two losses, I went back to work & acted like nothing happened - in hindsight was probably not the best solution for my needs at the time. Can you afford to take sometime off work & go away somewhere?

People sometimes just don't know what to say & rather than say the 'wrong' thing don't say anything at all. It is usually people who have not experienced the loss of a baby & can't emotionally connect. This may also be the reason they are asking if you are going to try again.

I can't answer what you should do now - that is such a personal thing & it would truly depend on many different factors. I can only provide you with support & hope that you can move through this. BB & the community will help alot as too will other forums. Personally, I have read books on the subject, gone to a counsellor etc... (for a few examples) & that has helped me to work through my losses, but it won't be for everyone & you might not want to do those things straight away - it took me nearly 12 months after my last loss to see a counsellor.

I don't think after my first or subsequent losses my life was the same. Things I do/wouldn't do changed & shaped me to be the person I am today. For the better? I can't say for sure but I'd like to think so. Eventually you will feel like some kind of 'normal' but for now you need to grieve and be kind to yourself.

My girlfriend once said to me (she lost her daughter at 24 weeks) that you are only given situations with what you can handle - I believe this to be true even when I feel low, so low about my losses.

I hope you can find peace someday soon. Hugs x