HI lucajacksmum

Reading your post really got to me im sitting hear crying and had to write to you i also have 2 little boys and about 6 weeks ago suffered my first misscarrage. feel exactly the same as you explained not sure what to do!

People around me not know what to do either and the few close friends i have dissapeared guessing not knowing what to say? same as you kept loosing it completly out of the blue having major meltdowns especially when alone feel like i coped and coping but soooooooooooo sad. never misscarried before and had no idea on how deep the emotional stuff was!!!

i have trubble conceiving and after 7 months of trying fell pregnant was to good to be true and didnt last very long i was sooooooo happy and excited my sister had fallen preg unexpectadly 2 months earlier with her first child and it was a dream come true to go through preg and baby stuff together.
Guess just not ment to be.

Life has gone back to normal for everyone around me but still feel like there is a horrible sadness around me and i cant get past it not sure if i know how to. other people wouldnt really notice it but life not normal for me.
I agree with rhichichi it has also changed me i hope for the better but havent figured that out yet.
I always let friend walk all over me been very used by people because i someone that is always there for people something i have always liked about myself but it attracts the wrong kinds of people and they take advantage of me well i finally see that that needs to change i need to find ways to put myself first!
And say NO!!
About trying again people asked me that question and i thought would want to try as soon as possible but i have decided that i need to give trying a break for awhile said few months but see how i feel would love to be pregnant and have baby but straingly feel like it wrong for me to not sure could handle it if happened again need to get my mind and body fiter and stronger and enjoy my 2 beautiful boys for awhile without the preasure.

I hope you have found things getting easier for you dont put pressure on yourself to get back to normal just go with the emotions i tried to fight them and be fine/normal but doesnt work its such a personal experience and there is no right or wrong way to feel or things to do. Very sorry to hear of your loss wishing you all the best and know that you not alone.