Oh honey that is a very sad post you have written. I guess my answer is that you dont go back to your old life. You might go through the motions but you will never be the same again. You have had a major loss in your life, the death of a loved one. And while not everyone will understand it us girls at BB will. Thats why i encourage you to post in here as often as you need to. These emotions dont go away over night and the feelings off loss dont get better they just change. People want to make you feel better and 'fix' things thats why they are asking you if you are going to have another. You may decide you do, but that is for you and your DH to decide and that doesnt need to be right now.

I am sorry that you never go to hold your little angel in your arms!