thread: Is this how I should feel?

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    Sunshine Coast, Qld
    558

    Is this how I should feel?

    Hi Ladies
    I feel kind of guilty posting in here given that you all seem to have endured so much more pain than me. One week ago we lost our baby at only 7 weeks. It was a horrible week. We found out we were expecting on the 21st Sept; blood tests with Dr the next day; appointment to go back to he Dr scheduled for the Monday following. On the Saturday morning though I woke feeling very ordinary and really crampy, then the bleeding started. I knew in my heart I was losing the baby. I did another HPT and it was still positive Saturday morning, however by Sunday night it was negative. That was the worst. I bawled my eyes out with my hubby and felt completely useless. Come the Monday I went off to the Dr who already knew that I would be (if I hadn't already) losing the baby as my bloods were indicating it was only at "blastocyst" stage, so nowhere near as developed as it should have been for 7 weeks.
    Even when we did IVF years ago we did not have this happen as none of the treatments worked and so we never had a successful transfer. I have just never felt so hopeless and like a loser. I keep thinking positively - at least my body remembers how to be pregnant and so it might happen again. Plus we are both stoked with our DD (natural pregnancy completely out of the blue) and didn't ever expect to have her.
    Sorry, I'm babbling. I guess I just keep thinking of the life that could have been. I would desparately love another child and hope this doesn't happen again. I admire all of you who have lived through this and worse and remain positive.
    I guess I am just feeling a bit sad today one week on and had to get this off my chest. Sorry for rambling and this possibly doesn't make much sense. Thanks for reading though.

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Geelong
    3,438

    So sorry to hear of your loss .

    Regards,
    Dianne

  3. #3
    Registered User

    May 2007
    Home
    2,050

    I'm sorry for your loss peta everyone handles miscarriages differently, there isn't a right, or wrong way to grieve. It is completely normal to feel sad, you've lost your baby

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Oct 2009
    surrounded by textbooks, cat toys and love
    1,124

    I'm sorry for your loss xo

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Melbourne
    4,895

    I'm so sorry that you lost your baby & like tellytubby said, there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2008
    3,132

    I'm sorry for your loss. Feel however you need to - grief is like that and affects everyone differently. Your grief is valid and just because others have experienced 'worse' doesn't make your experience less painful. Go with whatever you want to feel.

    Sending you lots of love and strength to get through the coming days

  7. #7

    Nov 2007
    Earth
    4,434

    Peta, as tellytubby said, there is no 'right' way to grieve - the only right way would be to not have to. I have lost 4 precious babies, and there are some days that I hate my body for being such a failure. Most of the time though, I realise that there was nothing I could've done, sometimes these things just happen. A annoying and frustrating and heartbreaking as it is, it's true. In the meantime, take it slowly hun, give yourself time and space to grieve in whatever way you feel is right

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Sep 2007
    Brisbane
    5,729

    Sorry for your loss . How you feel is how you feel - it is not invalid or inappropriate, it is how YOU are feeling and that is perfectly acceptable.

  9. #9

    Jul 2009
    Australia
    5,102

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Grieve the way that works for you, if you feel like crying then cry if you need to scream and throw things then do it. There is no right or wrong way to do it.

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Jul 2009
    2,251

    I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Apr 2006
    Perth
    4,203

    I'm so sorry for your loss and just wanted to say that you shouldn't feel you have not suffered enough to warrant your feelings - you have every right to feel grief and sadness whether its your first loss or your 20th loss. Every pregnancy represents your hope for the future of your family and every single one hurts. Take care, and enjoy your DD's cuddles - I'm always amazed how my girls can remind me that even when you feel at your lowest, there is so much sunshine and love around you.

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Oct 2010
    356

    Thinking of you, so sorry for your loss xxx


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Brisbane
    5,039

    the loss of a baby is such a hard thing to live thru and with.... go softly. hugs for your baby you wanted so much!

    ps. its never babble, always an ear here at bellybelly