Acknowledgement of her daughter, not only her loss will make a big difference.The card and charm are a lovely idea. It says so much without saying anything at all, IYKWIM.
Some people didnt know what to say to me and most didnt say anything. Honestly that hurt very much. Then one of my close friends gave me an angel charm which I wear on a chain. She didnt have to say anything to me but she acknowledged our daughters birth and how much she meant to us, and that gesture meant everything.
CJF - she told my mum to thank me for it, and sent me a text message also saying thank you, and that it was good that someone else in the family remembered - not just them. So I get the feeling nobody else acknowledged her? I think she was touched though - and she's a pretty hard nut my sister!!
Kitten - thank you I think I will keep on acknowledging Phoebe, even though my DH doesn't understand (maybe its a male thing, and the fact that it didn't happen to his immediate family?)
I think your card is beautiful Mel - & I am sure it made her cry but also warmed her Spirit. As for your question about your DH thinking it all a bit wierd. Not at all imo.
Sadly having had a lot to do with women who have lost babies before birth - it's not uncommon to recognise that child's position in the family by signing their name.
Sometimes a name is the only thing left - & using that name out loud and by writing it - brings that person/child back into the now.
Your sister may always do this - or in time she may let it go. That does not mean she does or does not need more counselling - it just illustrates the different ways that we grieve/remember.
I actually think it shows courage and depth - that regardless of how she will be thought of she stands up and does what she needs to do.
I am sure Phoebe was dancing in the Sunlight - and that her beauty will always remain a special part of your family...
I have used a butterfly stamp in pink ink and stamped the inside if the card and written ~CLM~ underneath it. It means something to me, it acknowledges my child but is not too "in your face" for those who may not cope so well.
DH and I always include her in our cards to each other and my Christmas gift from DH was a necklace that included her as well.
When we sign a card we put our little angles initials surrounded by a love hart at the bottom of all our names. Really it means more to us than the person we are giving the card to.
I?ve often wondered how long we will do this for or if it is strange or the done thing or even what others think.
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I think she was touched though - and she's a pretty hard nut my sister!!
I think I will keep on acknowledging Phoebe, even though my DH doesn't understand (maybe its a male thing, and the fact that it didn't happen to his immediate family?)
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