!st off sorry to hear about your loss. my 2nd MC was like a heavy period with extra cramping and i thought nothing off it . I went to the doctors concerned about a large clot type thing that i had passed and he had described exactly what i had seen and told me i had Mc again. i think it was worse cos i didnt realise and finding out after was devastating.

I think its only natural to long for something that has been lost. Most days i still get this weird thought in my head that i could have 5 kids if my 3 angels had made it. But then i may not have tried for my beautiful DD.

I think you should sit down with Dp and be open and honest right from the start. explain your feelings and get his response. No point bottling it up inside and wondering. I spent too long keeping my feelings inside and when i finally explained to DP that i longed to hold another child that he realised that after the 3 losses and to only be able to hold one child at the end of the day that it was something we needed to work through.

I really hope that you get your baby and soon. (although 9 months seems like a long time to wait for something so precious. (worth it in the end) I hope that you can talk with DP an work through your feelings. I dont think that you should forget what has happened. Grieve for your loss or it does catch up to you even if you think you have dealt with it,.If DP doesnt understand then grieve in private. or with family or friends support.

GL for future TTC.