Last night was the first time DH and I have really talked about our angel baby, and it felt sooo good.

I don't think he realised how often I think about it, and that I don't just think of it as a miscarriage, but as one of our children.. I talked about how in August, i'd like to do something special, like release a balloon, to celebrate what would have been his first birthday. He said he honestly had no idea when the due date was, let alone that it was in august.. I could tell he felt bad about this, but I don't hold anything against him.

I close my eyes and I can see his face... I feel so strongly that it was a little boy. Olive skin like his sister, brown eyes - a little buddah baby I remember I was in the shower, crying at what was happening, and his little face popped in my mind, I cried even more.

Has anyone else felt so strongly about their angel babies? You just knew that it was a boy/girl, and you had their imagine in your mind? Or am I being silly...

I look at my baby boy now, 4 months old, and I often think "gee.. you look nothing like your brother"

Thanks for reading
xx