We had been trying to conceive number 2 with PCOS and had done 8 cycles of FSH ovulation induction over 18 months. We had success and HCG numbers were great, good heartbeat at 7 weeks, and all looking perfect at 9 weeks when I had an extra scan. I had a doppler and was listening in every couple of days and heard a strong heartbeat about 160-165 usually.
So we went for our scan at 12+2 to be told that the baby had died a couple of days before. I have still had no bleeding or cramping, and still have morning sickness.
After having the weekend to get our heads round this I am seeing the doctor today to discuss the d&c. I have a few questions and wondered if someone could help me as I'm scared that I won;t get all the answers in the doctors today.
What will happen to the remains of my baby, do we have any say?
Will they be able to tell me if it was a girl or a boy?
Will the baby come out whole or will it be harmed in the process?
Are there any other options other than the d&c? If the baby was 12 weeks would a natural miscarriage be too distressing? My understanding is that it could take weeks and I think I need to get past this quickly for the sake of myself and my son.
If I have PCOS and normally don;t ovulate on my own, will I still get a period in a few weeks and when can we go back and start treatment again?
I'm sorry if some of these questions are distressing, I just need to know what will happen to my baby and was hoping someone could me.
im so sorry you are going through this, lyra. it is so unfair.
i cant answer most of your questions, but they should be able to tell you the sex, if you want to know. im sure another member will pop in and give you some more support and advice. take care. xx
I'm so sorry Lyra... Sending big hugs your way. Lionsandbears summed it up pretty well. I was 11 weeks when I had D&C, had testing done and found out the sex. I was very happy that I found out what it was and made it somehow more real for me and that I could actually mourn with the knowledge it was a little boy. They did also test for certain chromosomal problems, but this came back negative. I did not ask for the remains, this wasn't on my mind at all at the time. I didn't want to wait for it naturally as you said this could take weeks. After the D&C my period came back after 41 days, my normal cycle is 31 days.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a loss at 15 weeks, the baby stopped growing at 12 weeks 4 days (four days after the Nt ultrasound). I was induced as my obs said it was the safer option for the cervix at that stage. We also had an autopsy done and chromosome abnormalities tested and all came back clear and we found out it wad a baby girl. The hospital will probably give you information on your options for cremationetc. We choose to have the cremation and keep the ashes, I couldn't bear the thought of my baby being classed as medical waste. My period returned about six weeks later, I tend to have long cycles so this was normal for me. I'm so sorry you have to go through this, take care of yourself and if you need an understanding ear pm me.
I'd ask your doctor to have the baby tested. Karoptyping involves taking a sample of tissue, growing cells and counting the chromosomes. You may have to pay for it, in which case the test is about $400. That test may give you answers, if there was a chromosome problem. Most chromosome problems are one offs, so are unlikely to reoccur. However, a lot of time they cannot find reasons. With my mmc, but had died 2 weeks earlier, so they couldn't grow enough cells to test.
If they can karotype, then they will be able to tell you if bub is a boy or girl. You don't have to test. However, they won't likely be able to tell sex at such an early gestation without testing.
With a D&C or D&E, the baby will not be whole. I don't know how long a natural miscarriage would take. I had a D&C.
You can ask for the remains. It's your baby. Just ask if it's possible to have bub returned after testing. Different hospitals will have different policies. Some places do mass cremations. Others dispose of them as medical waste.
If you're not comfortable asking your doctor, there may be a pregnancy loss coordinator at your hospital that you can ask. They are normally present at large maternity hospitals. I don't know about private hospitals.
i don't know about how PCOS will affect your cycle return or when you can start treatment again. My cycle was moved out from 4 to 5 weeks, but I don't have PCOS.
i hope some of this has helped. Nothing can help the heartbreak. I am truly sorry you are going through this. Go gently.
Lyra, I'm so sorry for your loss Be very gentle to yourself. A miscarriage is tough. Do whatever you feel you need too do. Sadly, many of us on here have experienced loss at some stage. It is devastating, painful and just plain awful. We are all here for you, whenever you need us.
ETA: my miscarriage wasn't a missed one, but I did have a D&C, mine was an anembryonic pregnancy, so I didn't have any embryonic tissue to test, but as L&B has indicated, they will be able to do testing to try and get some answers for you.
My cycle returned at almost 28 days on the knocker after the D&C, but I don't have PCOS so I'm not sure how that will affect things for you - every woman is different I guess.
Thank you so much for all your kind words and support. It means a lot. And I'm so sorry that so many have been through similar things.
I was actually quite proud of myself today, I held it together in the appointment and managed to get all the answers I needed. I am going in tomorrow for a d&c, we discussed other options but this seems the best thing to do. The remains will be tested and then cremated and put into a memorial garden at the hospital, or we can choose to have them back. I will talk to the midwives tomorrow about this, but I am happy that they are not discarded as medical waste.
I will be glad to get tomorrow behind me but will never forget this little baby that I will not get to hold.
I may see some of you in the LTTTC thread soon- I have been stalking you since I took a break (as I was getting a bit obsessive and crazy). Again thank you for your information and kind words.
Can anyone help me again with a couple of questions...
I was 12+6 at D&c, and bub died at 12 weeks, so how long do you think until hcg reaches zero? I think I;m in for a long wait. It's just so depressing. I want to get back to the clinic and back on those injections, but I've been told my consultant wants to wait one cycle AFTER the first AF, Think it will be 2013 then. I have this overwhelming need to get pregnant before my due date or I think I will implode.
How long do the cytogenetics take? My doctor was very vague so would be very interested in anyone's experience.
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss I know how hard it is, I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks and had my d&c 2 weeks ago yesterday and I go back for my check up tomorrow and get my test results for bub which I feel anxious about. I'm sorry you have to go in for a repeat d&c I hope you recover quickly and can move on to ttc soon :-)
Loss at 12 weeks
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