Miscarriage/Loss General Discussion #1

**Miss.September** · July 22nd, 2011, 10:02 AM

Tellytubby - Fingers crossed we'll be lucky enough to be bellybuddies together! I wasn't really using BB much when I was pregnant, so I didn't know about the buddies groups, and then when DD was born, she had hip dysplasia and I found it too hard to go into the baby buddies group and see how babies her age were developing when she couldn't. So I sort of missed out on all of that. I joined the baby buddies group after she was brace free and they are a beautiful bunch of people, so I'm looking forward to this time around joining in from the start. I'd love to just tell people that I fell pg after we found out ourselves, but we learned the hard way the first time. Once we told people, and the grapevine took off it was nuts. But when I m/c, the grapevine didn't work and I had people coming up to me a month later, asking me where my belly was. It was so painful for me and embarrassing for them. I sat at my SIL's baby shower (who fell pg before me) and when she was opening her presents, all eyes were on me to see how I was coping. So much pity, it was awful and I swore we wouldn't tell anyone again until we were at 12 weeks.

Audax - I remember my ob talking about the odds and I know they're on my side. I know I can be a little overprotective at times, but luckily nobody gives me grief for it. My family saw what I was going through when we lost the first one, even though I acted pretty tough

and then to go through the hip journey as well, yeah, it wasn't easy. My parents were overseas for the first six months of DD's life and when they returned, my stepdad went through this horrible period of guilt because they came home to see this cute chubby baby with locked-in legs and he realised what DH and I had been going through with very little support. So all that overprotectiveness comes from them too

Freya - The support I've found on here is incredible. I think once all is well and I do fall pg, that the PAML group is probably the place I need t be. More

JennaJayen -

Your pg with DD must have been so nervewracking. I hope you can have another baby

I guess I'm feeling a bit blah about it all at the moment because I'm at the point where we should have shared the news and been enjoying it. We cleaned our our spare room two weekends ago, so it's pretty much empty. All the baby things are in the wardrobe and I know when I do fall pg, at that 12 week mark, everything will be coming out

**tellytubby** · July 22nd, 2011, 03:40 PM

I listen to some of your journeys, and I am just gobsmacked at the heartbreak some have been through. Such strong, resilient women in these threads - it really is inspiring

Pak - Yes I was the same with my DD. I wasn't aware of the bellybuddy threads, I'd come on quite often, and would wonder why there wasn't many posts in the 1st tri/2ndtri/3rdtri threads - thought I must have been one of the few pregnant. How wrong I was! Everyone was just chatting in the belly threads thats all! So with my DS I made the effort to join the group, I know exactly what you mean - wow what a lifesaver those friendships have been. I am such introverted person IRL, so the people who I do see, I couldn't really call real friendships. With my first m/c no one knew, so didn't have to worry about "those" looks - however I found that just as hard, I was mourning the loss of a child, and no one even knew. I was so alone, it was ridiculous. Second m/c, a few people knew. I do regret telling a friend from mothers group however. She is pregnant, due 2 days after my angel. Everytime I see her, she tries to bring up conversation on how I am doing and what not. I don't really know how to act, or what to say. I mean... I can't really tell my heart has been ripped out twice now, i don't understand why this happens to me. I'm awkward around her... So I just lie. Tell her how great I am and act happy to see her. Its so gut wrenching trying to pretend like I don't care about my loss

I'm so glad to hear you're surrounded by great family, your step dad sounds like a gem. Im at the point where I should be announcing it too. My phone beeped at me today to tell me to go to my NT scan. Ahh that sucked a bit. So have you officially started trying yet?

**Miss.September** · July 22nd, 2011, 04:58 PM

More

Tellytubby

My cycles have settled down finally so I guess it means we're back on the bandwagon. DH is so keen, he said he wants to finish our family so we can just enjoy. He loves the age DD is at now. The first 12 months were really hard, he felt a bit useless, didn't know what to do, and I wanted him to help so it was a bit of a disaster really. Plus he was working long hours then. I'm hoping it'll be different this time. So it's time to start counting the days on the calender and figure out when our right time is. We seem to conceive okay, it's the follow on that's the challenge.

Have a nice weekend everyone, hope some nice things come your way

**Freya** · July 22nd, 2011, 07:32 PM

Pac, I just realised your DD and my Ds3 are both March 09 babies

Arent they just the best

**Miss.September** · July 22nd, 2011, 08:35 PM

LOL how awesome! See, bet we should have been belly buddies at some stage

**tellytubby** · July 23rd, 2011, 10:10 PM

Pak I hope you don't have to count down the calendar days for too long, before you see that stressful 2nd line. heehee. I know that sounds bad, but you know what I mean

I just finished watching rabithole. Has anyone seen it? Wow... So much emotion. I cried almost the entire way. I could feel her grief.
I kept thinking of losing my angels.. I know that is ridiculous comparing the loss of a child to a miscarriage. I am so thankful I have two healthy, gorgeous children sleeping in their beds right now.

To think that accidents like that one do actually happen... A very similar accident happend to my DH's boss. Life sucks sometimes hey.

Hope you guys are taking care of yourselves. xx