*sigh* And so it begins again. Four days until the second anniversary of Ianto's death, six until his birthday... Sometime in the next day or two is the anniversary of the last kicks I remember. He was never much of a kicker, so I didn't worry when I didn't feel anything. I wonder if that would have helped? I wish I knew more about how it all happened for him. When exactly did he die? Was it in the morning, or was the slight flicker we saw on the ultrasound really his last heartbeat?
Forshelby - I know how you feel, after my first mc I thought "ok these things happen, now I'll be ok" but then it happens again and it's like a slap in the face
Freya - I'm so sorry for your loss
Teni - thinking of you
Afm - I'm totally freaking out about TTC again, I thought I was use to the possibilities of another mc but after having a break I think I've put false hope into everything being fine this time. If it happens again I think it will be crushing, it's like I had gotten use to the routine of the mc's and had become very good of pushing the pain aside but I think another one will put an end to TTC.
I keep thinking the same TMS.................but I just dont know if I can leave it on a bad note iykwim? Like I will feel like I gave up. Which is stupid because everyone has a limit and how much more pain should I endure.
As of now we are going to keep trying and do more investigation into a possible cause. If we arent succesfully pregnant by December I will have to put my big girl panties on and make a hard decision
And just a petty vent but if I hear 'surprise' and 'pregnant' in the same sentence again I WILL go postal.
Yeah the surprise pregnancies shoot a little pin through my heart too.
This has to be our last year, I can't keep going and DH isnt going to get over his fear of Drs and "pushing" nature any time soon. I'm sure saying no more will be heart breaking as well but I have to at the end of the year or I'll lose my mind.
Freya & TMS - Im in exactly the same boat as you two. Wanting to give up because seriously, how much more pain can I go through. I have been through almost the entire first trimester 3 times in the past 12 months, which was full of extreme nausea/vomiting just to have a D&C at 11w, 11w and 12w. But in all honesty, I cant give up, not yet. DH and I decided that this is our final year of TTCing too. Its been over 2 years for us now and we cant keep going forever. We just started TTCing again and Im not even excited. Im just angry. Angry that we have to try again, and it probably wont live anyway. Its just not fair girls.
Freya - my heart sank when I read your post just now, I'm so sorry for your loss, as I'm going through it myself I have no other words other than life sux sometimes.
Teni - same goes to you
How is everyone else?
AFM - well, it's been 2.5 weeks since my D&C, the bleeding finally stopped around last Friday so it has helped me to start the moving on process. Until I see a pregnant lady of course, or hear of another person getting pregnant. I am really starting to feel like THE only person on earth that I know of who isn't pregnant. And Freya, I'm with you on the hearing accident and pregnant in the same sentence, I have heard it a lot lately and I swear the next person who says it is copping it from me. Saw my FS on Monday, we've decided we don't like him, he didn't look at us at all when we were there, typed on his computer and didn't listen to a word I said. My OB who is an FS at the same clinic wrote up a plan and he seems to have changed it so I'm waiting to hear back from her. I'm going to ask if she can take my case over, I feel more positive around her, he made me feel quite deflated, yet she was making me feel quite confident that I would be able to carry a baby to full term. So the idea is to put me on Clexane injections next time, but everything else stays the same - I dont' know much about this drug and if it's any good, but he also rattled off prednisolone (steroid) and I am not comfortable taking that one, from what I read it can contribute to birth defects etc.......he said that we will do 2 more natural timed intercourse cycles and quote unquote, see how we go - well sorry but I'm not keen on having any more miscarriages so your blaze see how we go doesn't ride well with me!!! I had my little girl with me and he said to her, make sure you have babies when you're 25.....what kind of comment is that, a dig because I'm older, well sorry buddy but I wasn't in a position to have children in my 20's, I didn't even get married until I was 34!!!!!! GRRRR
Alison- wtf, I would have punched his lights out if he said that in front of me- HOW RUDE! I know exactly how you feel, I didn't meet DH until I was 35, do they want us to turn back time or something!! It makes my blood boil things like that. So sorry you were treated so badly when you should have been treated kindly, I hope you can be under your old ob instead. I am on clexane for all my ivf transfers, so if you have any questions about it feel free to ask xx
Hi everyone else, I read a lot but don't post much, sorry everyone is having a bad time.xx
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