Melody, have you thought of doing it now hun? Before too much time passes and you can't remember exactly where to look? Tanya has a gorgeous big potted willow where she laid little Banjo to rest. But you wouldn't have to have a plant in it - you could have a little Zen garden, with some little pebbles and a figurine and you wont have to worry about transplanting more soil etc.
Last edited by Trillian; June 1st, 2009 at 11:38 AM.
Thank you so much for your words. I've really appreciated them and they've helped a lot. It's been a really difficult thing to think about - however I think I may have come up with an idea that I feel settled about....
When I was talking with my mum about this issue, she came up with a valid point. She gently suggested that I may not really want to be carrying around my baby's remains in a pot to each house I live in. I thought this was a good point as I tried to imagine how I'd feel every time I saw the plant/pot and I think it would be a sad memory and not something that I'd look at with fondness (unlike the woman that made the initial plant/pot suggestion - she had many happy memories of her dad).
Anyway, like you, Rommy'sMummy, my mum said I really didn't have to do anything now. There is no rush. She said things would already have started to break down (I thought it would take years).
Mum suggested burying the remains on my Grandfather?s grave and I thought about the idea of cremating them?..but I?ve figured out that I actually quite like having my baby's remains in my garden at the moment. I don't feel like I want to move them. I was planning on having this baby at home ? and that?s what happened ? my baby was born at home and buried at home.
I still don't feel I want to leave my baby in the garden when I move, so my thought for now is to leave them there and when I do move, dig up a portion of dirt (which will have nothing in it then) and just let it go in the ocean ? to be free.
My baby is buried under the passionfruit vines and so my sister suggested that at each home I live in, that I plant a passionfruit vine in remembrance.
I feel most settled about these ideas and it has helped me to not feel so upset (about that side of things at least).
That is a beautiful idea to take some earth and give it to the ocean, and your sisters idea is just lovely. I'm glad you have found some peace with this
it seems you have found some peace with your decision.
i have to say that i really agree with rommy'smummy on the planting of something above the grave site. we did this when we lost someone special and knew that we couldn't bring them with us. in our case we lived in Nth Qld and planted a bird of paradise (as it can grow from cuttings) and when the flowers came through the following spring we took a cutting and now i feel that he has come with us as well ITMS.
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