My sister has lost her baby

[blessedatlast]

Liviam,
I am so sorry sweety. This is devastating news. If there is anything I can do for you, advice, someone on the end of the phone. Your sister is so very lucky to have you. You have been so thoughtful. God i wish i had you when we went through a similar experience. You have a very brave sister, facing such a huge part of her life. My heart aches for her and I will be thinking her and her partner through the night. xoxo

Can I offer this advice. We contacted a group for our DD's birth 'May I lay thee down to sleep' Find A Photographer - Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep
They have photographers that can come at short notice for no charge to take some photos of them and their beautiful baby. Even if they have second thoughts about this, encourage them to feel comfortable...they can always get rid of them later if they want to. I have a funny feeling they will want absolutely everything they can get their hands off as testiment of this childs life. They were so lovely...quite, unintrusive, tasteful and respectful. The lady that took our shots was an angel. My biggest regrets were not having enough time...which can't be helped. But make sure they ask questions, the hospital should be wonderful at helping them through this but sometimes not knowing the questions to ask can be difficult.

Make sure she doesn't rush this process, it will be one of the only things she gets to have. Nurse that baby, touch, bath if possible (we couldn't), dress that baby as much as she and her husband can. Please also know if she so chooses she can take her baby home and have the funeral directors pick up bubs from home. All of these things can really help their grieving. She can visit the funeral home if she so chooses too.
If there is anything i can do...let you know what helped us and what didn't....pm me hun. I am happy to help.
Photos, time, love and happiness for your neice or nephews...Celebrate this baby as normal but also shed your tears. Hold nothing back. I know for us, we needed to see that she touched others, that they felt her loss too. But i really didn't want to feel i needed to 'look after' anyone. Everyone is different...be prepared for anything.

You my love are a very special sister. Your sister and partner are now a very special mum and dad.
xoxoxo Much love and sorrow for you all. xoxo

Said so much better than I could ever say, I am a blubbering mess.. I am so sorry. Please know that I am crying tears for a grieving Mama, Dad and family. xxxx

[~Jayne~]

Liviam, is there any news on your sister this morning? I thought of your family all night & their heartache.

[Eenee]

Thinking of your family still xxx

[Gigi1]

Sweet, I just wanted to add.

Waiting for the birth can be horrendous for some but for others it can be of comfort. You have a bit more time to say goodbye. We waited more than 5 weeks for our little girl to be born...and it was a blessing for us. I guess another example of how different it can be for everyone. Thinking of you all today xoxo.

[Liviam]

i am now the proud aunty of a gorgeous little nephew. Zaviar Rory was born sleeping peacefully this morning. Zavier weighed 1.2kg and has a head of thick black hair. He is absolutely stunning. Zavier had a beautiful blessing service this morning and we all got cuddles.

My sister isn't up to holding Zavier or seeing him. I tried everything but she just doesn't want to. We have taken heaps and heaps of photos for her and lots of footprints and handprints. The funeral director is going to dress him in the clothes I took him when he gets home.

I'm so incredibly proud of my sister bringing their little angel into the world (she had to have a c/s sadly).

Have fun playing in heaven with your cousin Rory and your great grand parents. Angels are waiting for you gorgeous little man.

[Ozziehoffy]

Massive for all of you hun. Fly free with all the other little angels, precious little one.

[skybie]

Thinking of your sister, knowing exactly where she is right now. birthing an angel is so so difficult
rest easy knowing Jack is a newbie up there too, Zavier will have someone to play with

[~Jayne~]

Oh Liviam, I have tears. Lots of them. You are one very strong, courageous & wonderful sister to have done what you have done today. What you did takes lots of gumption & I'm sure in time your sister will be so glad that you have done what you have done & that you have given her some beautiful keepsakes and memories of her beautiful little man. He sounds absolutely devine, he really does.

I don't know what the exact process is, but is there any chance Zaviar can stay with your sister for the rest of the day, maybe overnight, just in case she changes her mind about holding him & that chance has gone?

[Frantelle]

Thinking of your sister, knowing exactly where she is right now. birthing an angel is so so difficult
rest easy knowing Jack is a newbie up there too, Zavier will have someone to play with

This is a beautiful and amazingly kind post given what you are going through.

You are both in my thoughts.


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[Miss.B]

Oh hun, tears are streaming down my face. Congratulations to on becoming a proud Aunty to precious Zaviar Rory. Play with all the beautiful angels in heaven wee man.

I wish your sister gave Zaviar lots of cuddles. I treasure the fleeting moments I had with my little guy.

[Gigi1]

Oh hun...That is a beautiful name. I hope your sis gets to hold him soon. Maybe on her own when everyone has gone. At least the C section will give her more time in the hospital with her little man. Remind her how very brave she is.
Typing through rolling tears is a little hard so i will keep it short.
Keep doing everything you are doing and don't give up. The midwives might be able to help encourage her.
I remember they were ones who had some idea of what i would feel when all of it was over. I didn't want any regrets.
But also some people just can't bring themselves to and that is perfectly ok. She will need a lot of support to be however she wants to be.

Congratulations to you for becoming an aunty and congrats to your beautiful sister and partner. An angel touches the souls of many...which makes them pretty special.
Welcome to your body little one and enjoy your new life watch over your mummy and daddy.

Sweety, an organisation we found incredible for afterwards...SANDS. Make sure you check them out for you and your family. The support groups, when he time is right can be helpful to some.

Go gently hun and i hope our little angel is there to welcome him.xoxo
xoxx

[SweetPea]

I'm so sorry for your families loss. I just wanted to let you know that I know where your sister is coming from, not wanting to hold him or see him. We lost a baby boy at 20 weeks in september last year and straight after I was definite that I didn't need to see him or hold him, I even went home and I slept for a few hours, woke up at around 8pm and just knew that I had to see him and hold him, so went straight back up to the hospital that night, I am so glad that I changed my mind, it has definitely helped in the healing process, saying hello and goodbye all at once, the hardest thing to even contemplate doing, so I can understand how your sister feels.

For myself I think it was all such a whirlwind and I kept myself strong and together to get myself through it and it wasn't till after I could contemplate those things. She may just need a bit of space, or sleep to process what has happened, or she may just be very sure of her decision which is totally her choice. I know that the midwives were very open and said if you change your mind just let us know.

One thing that stuck in my mind when dr's and midwives were asking did we want to see him was the dr saying "I've never known anyone that has regretted it" Sending you all love and strength.

[Catastrophic]

:-( i'm so sorry.

[BabyWrangler]

Ok...big deep breath...trying to type really quickly before the tears start again!!

Congratulations to your incredible sister on the birth of her beautiful little Xavier Rory, and congratulations to you also on becoming a proud Auntie.
He sounds just adorable, its no wonder the Angels wanted him to themselves.

I'm so sorry for you all that he was just too perfect for this world, and that the night sky needed his beautiful light to create another shining star.
May his shining star light the darkest night, and may you all feel proud when you look at the sky and see him shining.

I know he will be sadly missed, and is very much loved.
to you all.

[Liviam]

I've just spoken to my sister. She and her DH had some special time together with their gorgeous son where my sister held, kissed and talked to her precious angel. They said hello and goodbye and had some amazing special family time together. She couldn't stop saying how gorgeous her little man is. It has just brought me to tears again. She sounded like the proudest mum .
Thank you all so much for your beautiful and kind words for my sister, her DH and their precious angel boy .

[BabyWrangler]

Aw Sweets
and

I'm so glad your darling sis and her DH have had some time together to hold and snuggle their little bundle

My love and thoughts you you, your sister, and all your loved ones who are affected

[Gigi1]

Oh thank you for letting us know. I am so relieved for them. They need all the time they can get. I have never heard anyone ever wish they hadn't cuddled their little one. To be honest i was quite removed initially, and then the hormones start to kick in and you recognise your little angel as your own.
Right off i go for a little cry. I am so sad for them, but also admire them incredibly. It is a bitter sweet experience that no one should ever have to go through.
Thinking of you all and sending you much love. Oh I am so sorry.
xoox

[leesha]

Even though I don't know your sister I am sending huge hugs her way and yours. Noone should ever have to go through such heartache.
You are a fantastic sister and I love all the little gestures you came up with..so thoughtful.
Lots of people thinking of your family at this time!:grouphug