To answer your questions yes, I avoided newborns & young bubs in general as well. Which was horrible for my SIL as she felt awfull that her bub (who was about 4 months at the time) was making me feel awful - which made me feel worse - but she understood. I also avoided pregnant people, but as time goes on it gets easier. You sort of come to terms with the fact that you will have a baby one day and it will be all yours and very special to you.
I think you have to do what is comfortable for you first, and also your DH. Perhaps if you do go just let him in that you're not feeling the best so he can be there by your side when people make snide remarks, after all you are in this together.
Much love to you and your Family, hun and I'm very sorry you've had to experience this
I'm sorry for your loss, andI think you should do what's right for you. I find it hard being around pregnant women too, and sometimes you have to protect yourself. All the best
You are not being silly. All my losses were early & after each one I got very upset at just the sight of a pregnant woman or a newborn bub. I tried to avoid gatherings where they might be but to be honest it's pretty hard to do.
I remember being upset whenever I was around my then partner's sister because I was originally due before she was, then I was due a month afterwards, then with the third pregnancy in that 12 month period I was due 4 months after her. She was a constant reminder for me of what I'd lost. She was not tactful at all & constantly talked about her pregnancy which made it extremely difficult for me. I was OK while I was pregnant, but so not OK when I wasn't. She just didn't seem to get how difficult it was for me to hear all the baby talk.
I remember after I had the 2nd loss that year that I told my then partner that I was not even going to go to the hospital to see her when the baby was born cos I knew I'd just sit there and bawl so why put myself through that. Luckily for me though I was pregnant again by then so I managed to go without an issue.
I found shopping centres a nightmare because after a loss they seem to be filled with pregnant women & newborns. Seeing kids queuing to see Santa would make me bawl, seeing parents getting their bubs photos taken at those photo places in the shops would make me bawl.... any kids entertainment in the shops would bring tears..... they just reminded me of what I'd lost.... and because of my age I'd got to the stage that I thought I'd never have a bub.
I actually remember seeing longing glances from women when I was heavily pregnant & I knew exactly what was going through their heads because I'd been there.
Do whatever you have to do to get yourself through. If that is avoiding family gatherings for a while then do it. If like me it means walking out of a room mid baby conversation to sit in a room on your own or sob out in the backyard go do it. Only you will be able to get yourself out of the uncomfortable situation.
so I didn't feel the need to avoid pregnant friends/family, but there was a good year or two before I met DH, when I was having a really hard time watching my friends all settle down and start families and wondering if it wsa ever going to happen for me, kwim? Kind of like what I imagine a couple going through IVF would feel - everyone around them is blissfully happy, getting what they want, and here's me all alone and miserable and jealous and just wanting a bub so badly, kwim?
So I didn't avoid friends and family after my loss, but there was quite a long period before that when I couldn't stand to be around pregnant friends and family for those reasons. It wasn't so hard for me to, say, be out shopping and see pregnant women walk past, yes it hurt a little, but nowhere near as much as hearing my friends gush on about how excited they were/complain about having to pee constantly etc...
It was only when DH and I started trying for a family and were successful, that I felt ready to be aroun
I recently lost my baby girl.
And now one of my ex-friends is pregnant.
After being so evil about me being pregnant she's pregnant herself.
And i feel she's throwing it back in my face as well.
I try to avoid her as much as possible cause it does hurt so much.
She's the girlfriend of my baby girl's dad's best friend (if that makes sense)
So its really hard even more.
I feel she rubs it in my face every chance she gets.
But from my point of view its not wrong to avoid pregnant women.
Its just your/my way of dealing with our loss.
I mean, i dont really have that many people behind me supporting me as much as possible cause no one really approved of me being pregnant.
Technically, i'm just another case of teen pregnancy..
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